


An Inquisitor's tale.

by Mirani



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Action, Adventure, Attempt at Humor, Blind Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Disabled Character, Eventual Romance, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Character, Slow Build, Visually Impaired Character, dealing with disabilities, visual impairment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-02-04 18:21:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 58,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12776745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirani/pseuds/Mirani
Summary: This is what happens when I decide to start NaNoWriMo 10 days late. Yet another "Modern Girl in Thedas" story...with a twist!---“What do you mean you can’t see?” Cassandra demanded, clearly confused. I blinked, nonplussed. Had she really not noticed while we were traveling?“I’m visually impaired,” I stated, clearly enunciating every word. “I haven’t been able to see right since I was born." Determined to get my point across I gestured at my eyes. "Haven't you noticed that I probably haven't looked directly at you or Leliana during this whole conversation?"“I…” Cassandra seemed momentarily speechless. “Why did you not tell me this before?”“I thought you’d noticed,” I shot back. “Most of my friends teased me about not being able to keep my eyes still. I look at the ground instead of up so I don't trip. I don’t look at people when they talk to me. I’ve got about enough sight to not walk off a cliff…most of the time and the only reason I was able to shoot at those demons was because they were big enough I thought I’d hit something even if I couldn’t aim right!”How was I supposed to explain congenital optic nerve hypoplasia to people from Thedas?





	1. Waking up isn't normally this difficult

_Oww._

Note to self; waking on a cold, hard, clearly made-out-of-stone surface sucks. My back ached, the side I was currently lying on felt numb and I could feel a pulsing pain radiating from my left hand, sending occasional bolts of sensation up my arm to just past my elbow. There was a heavy weight around my wrists holding them in place in front of me and rendering my arms immobile. It felt sort of like rope of all things and was too tight for me to even think about trying to wiggle free. So not good.

I shivered involuntarily. It wasn’t just the floor (at least that’s what I assumed it was) that was cold. The air was frigid, like I’d decided to take a walk outside in the Highlands in December without a jacket.

 _Brilliant_.

It was dry though so at least I was probably inside. The last thing I needed now was to get rained on. The next question was, of course, where the hell was I? My memory of the last few days didn’t tell me anything new; nothing out of the ordinary had happened as far as I could tell. Wake up, feed the dog, take the dog for a walk, apply for jobs, read shitty fanfiction, practice for choir. Nope, nothing out of the ordinary. So how the hell did I get here and where the hell was here?

“I know you’re awake. You might as well open your eyes.” The sudden voice startled me out of my thoughts. It was accented, feminine and familiar. I opened my eyes, glancing around before spotting a tall figure stalking towards me. What the hell? The figure had short hair and…was that armour? The lighting wasn’t exactly helping either, flickering torchlight set against what seemed to be stone walls. Not normal torches with batteries either but actual fiery, flame-y torches. I squinted, trying to focus on the figure’s face before my mind caught up to the setting and I blanched.

No. Fucking. Way.

I swear the sound I made was closer to a squeak than any actual words as I pushed myself as far back as I could from the armoured figure, a figure I now knew was Cassandra Pentaghast; Seeker of the Chantry, future companion to the Herald of Andraste and, potentially, future Divine. I looked down at my hands and, sure enough, one of them was glowing _neon fucking green_. My back hit something and I glanced behind me only to see a set of sturdy bars to a cell. Shit. If I didn’t say the right thing then it was more than likely I’d end up in there. Not a pleasant thought. The bars were cold against my back but I couldn’t focus on the feeling for long as, too soon for my liking, Cassandra was standing over me, her height even more intimidating up close.

“Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you now.” Oh crap. The voice actors from the game might have sounded like the real thing but there was no way anyone just acting could put that much venom in only eight words. “The conclave was destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead, all except for you.”

I wanted to say something but my throat felt like it had closed up and all I could do was stare up at her, eyes wide as I tried to stop myself shaking. Acting guilty was not going to get me out of here any faster. Would game dialogue options help? What was the best course of action? How the hell was I even here?

Apparently I was taking too long. Looks like the “remain silent” option worked well enough.

“Explain this!” I had nowhere to go and probably couldn’t have moved even if I’d wanted to. Cassandra reached out and grabbed my left arm, yanking it so that the anchor was on full display. It sizzled and cracked and I winced as another jolt of pain raced up my arm. I hissed at the feeling and Cassandra dropped the arm, stepping back to pace in front of me. Clearly, she wasn’t going to accept silence this time. Not that she had the first time anyway if the grabbing was any indication of how things were going to go.

“I…” My voice was hoarse and I coughed before continuing. “I don’t know.” It was true, sort of. I couldn’t explain how the hell the mark got on my hand. I couldn’t explain why I was here either. I couldn’t exactly try and explain what the hell it was either since I only barely understood how the stupid thing was supposed to work. “I can’t. I don’t know.”

“You’re lying!” I flinched as Cassandra lunged towards me but, to my great relief, she was stopped by a figure wearing a dark hood. Leliana. Thank fuck.

“We need her alive, Cassandra,”

Great. Just fucking fantastic. I was so confused. It was only when the two women turned to look at me that I realised I actually said that out loud and I desperately wanted to hide my face in my hands.

“What do you remember?” Leliana had come closer during my inner panic attack. Damn, she could move quietly when she wanted to. If I hadn’t already been pressed against the bars I would have likely scrambled back further. As it was I flinched back and knocked my head against one of said bars. Double oww.

“Not much…” I hedged, attention shifting from Leliana to Cassandra and back again. I couldn’t really remember anything but I knew enough about the game to at least be able to repeat a little dialogue. Hopefully, that would help. It certainly couldn’t make it worse…unless I chose the purposefully confrontational options which I definitely one-hundred-percent was not going to do because I was a soft, squishy human who could probably be taken out by a child in this world with little effort. “I think, running, I was running from something then there was a light I think and a…a figure?” I paused, trying to remember the opening cutscene. “The figure reached their hand out and then…nothing.”

Leliana and Cassandra shared a look. At least I thought they did. It was hard to tell with the red head’s hood in the way and the poor lighting. Whatever the case, Leliana seemed to have accepted my words as she backed up and gave me space, something which I was incredibly grateful for.

“Go,” Cassandra instructed. “We will meet you at the forward camp. I will take her to the rift.” Leliana obeyed, striding out of the…room? Dungeon? Whatever this place was. With Leliana gone, Cassandra’s attention fixed back on me and I fought the urge to huddle in on myself. I knew what was coming next and there was no way this was going to end well for me. It was only as Cassandra bent towards me that I noticed the chains around my ankles. I hadn’t felt the cold metal against my skin because they had been placed over my jeans and I was too focused on getting away to notice them earlier. Cassandra unlocked the chains and hauled me to my feet before proceeding to drag me towards the door.

As I stepped outside the chill grew. Snow covered the ground and I grimaced as I tried ineffectually to rub my palms together for warmth. Not much leverage with the ropes binding them so any friction was minimal at best, non-existent at worst. With how cold my hands were feeling, I honestly couldn’t tell. I was only in jeans and a t-shirt damn it. I could feel myself losing feeling in my toes and fingers already and I hadn’t even been outside that long. Then again the prison or whatever it was hadn’t exactly been a sauna so maybe…

My thoughts came to an abrupt halt as I stared up at the glowing green…thing in the sky. Great. Just great. How many times was I going to think that today? I didn’t think I’d even been conscious ten minutes. Seeing a giant hole in the sky was, admittedly, far more intimidating in real life compared to a computer screen. No surprise there.

“We call it the Breach,” Cassandra said, her voice softer now as she stood beside me. “It appeared in the sky after the explosion that destroyed the conclave. It is a gateway to the realm of demons and, with every passing moment, it grows larger. It is not the only one of its’ kind but it is the largest, and the first.”

“I didn’t think an explosion could do that.” Damn it. I hadn’t meant to say that. Still, it was close enough to game dialogue that hopefully, Cassandra would respond. She wasn’t sticking quite to the script either so hopefully if I kept things sort of on track things would work out…until I died a horrible bloody death during a fight that I had no business being a part of.  
“This explosion did.” Her tone was almost flat as she turned towards me again, tearing her attention from the giant glowing monstrosity in the sky. “Unless we can do something to stop it, we fear it may swallow the world.”

I opened my mouth, probably to say something stupid but, before I could, another jolt went through my hand. This time the pain was way worse. I yelped, gritting my teeth in a vain attempt not to scream as the muscles in my left arm rapidly expanded and contracted, pain racing up my nerve endings as the damn green hole in my hand crackled and sparked. Thankfully it didn’t last long but, by the time it was done, I was all but in the fetal position in the snow, something which was not helping my freezing hands and arms.

Cassandra knelt down, peering at me with what I thought was a worried expression. “Every time the Breach expands so too does the mark on your hand. It is slowly killing you but we believe it may be the only option we have for dealing with the rifts.”

I was too cold to respond to her, shivering and clutching my left hand to my chest as I tried to convince my body that, no, I wasn’t being electrocuted. Eventually, the shaking stopped (although not the shivering caused by the cold) and I was able to reach out and grab Cassandra’s outstretched hand. It took a couple tries before I was able to get my feet under me successfully but, eventually, I was once again standing on my own two feet. I missed having my white cane to lean on. I couldn’t help but think that things would likely go smoother if Cassandra carried me. I wasn’t exactly light but she certainly looked strong enough that she could manage it.

As I continued to shiver, Cassandra seemed to finally notice how inappropriate my clothing was for the weather. It was then that I realised that her eyes would probably be drawn to the Ravenclaw house crest on my shirt, a stark white against the dark blue of the rest of the fabric. The contrast in colours made it easy to pick out the bird with outstretched wings and “Ravenclaw” written in clear script underneath. How was I going to explain that particular feature of my clothing? Not that my jeans weren’t also weird. At least my shoes weren’t that outlandish, good, sturdy things tied with laces. As long as they didn’t look too closely at the materials, I should be fine there. They probably looked fancier than they actually were due to how neat the stitching was, considering that such things would have to be handmade. So, a house crest, apparently good quality (if unsuitable for the current climate) clothing and clearly not someone used to combat or prolonged periods of physical activity.

 _Fantastic_.

I suddenly realised that Leliana was probably looking up the name Ravenclaw at this very moment (or, depending on how long I’d been out, probably already had) and I internally groaned. There was no way I could explain this. Did I say I was a member of the house? Did I say that I was in service to them in some way? Nope, I didn’t exactly have any applicable skills and saying I was a member of the house…I didn’t know how to act like a noble (which, if they had a sigil, the Ravenclaw family would appear that way) so, no matter what I said, I was screwed.

At that moment I resolved to ignore the problem and hope it went away on its’ own. I knew it wouldn’t but I was sure I could pretend for at least a little while.

“You cannot travel to the forward camp wearing just that,” Cassandra sounded disapproving and I tried not to glare at her. It wasn’t my fault I’d been thrown into a Thedasian winter. How was I supposed to know to wear heavy duty travel clothes when I woke up that morning? I didn’t even have anything that would be suitable travel clothes, only a decent winter jacket which wasn’t here so…A cough from Cassandra startled me out of my thoughts and I realised that I’d zoned out and missed the last sentence. I felt my cheeks heat and ducked my head in embarrassment.

“Sorry, what did you say?” I tried keeping my voice steady but I was shivering more now and my teeth chattering didn’t exactly help. Cassandra, deciding that my lack of attention was entirely due to how cold I was, sighed and grabbed me again and turned me around and started guiding me somewhere else, presumably to get warmer clothes.

Finding acceptable clothing wasn’t as easy as you might think. I was short and not exactly skinny so finding something that fit was more challenging than I think Cassandra planned for. Eventually, we managed to find a pair of warm trousers made out of durable fabric although I still had to roll up the bottoms quite a bit so I didn’t trip on them. This discovery was accompanied by a tunic-like top made out of leather which went over my shirt, thankfully hiding the Ravenclaw house crest, some gauntlets to protect my hands, a set of more sturdy boots (which pinched my toes rather uncomfortably but were blessedly warm), and, finally, a thick, dark brown cloak which immediately made me feel better.

Throughout the process of getting dressed, Cassandra had unbound my hands and, since we’d be travelling, she seemed to have decided to leave them free for the moment. She’d also officially introduced herself so I didn’t need to worry about slipping and revealing how much I knew about her already. I’d heard Leliana use her first name but, at that point, I’d had no way of knowing her last name or that she was a Seeker. This made it a bit easier to relax around the much taller woman which made the ordeal of donning the unfamiliar clothes much less awkward than it would have otherwise been.

Clearly knowing I had no clue what I was doing when it came to armour, Cassandra helped me get everything on. The trousers were just large enough that I could slip them over my jeans, something I was thankful for as it meant I didn’t’ have to strip. She buckled the tunic-like armour piece quickly into place, loosening some straps while tightening others until it actually felt a bit more comfortable than I was expecting. I’d also have to learn the actual name for it since I couldn’t just keep calling it a tunic thing in my head.

Getting the gauntlets on was easy enough but figuring out how to properly do them up was more difficult. Thankfully Cassandra helped with that too, tightening various bits and pieces once my hands were inside. My fingers were a little too short but I could still bend and flex comfortably enough so they would have to do. This wasn’t about getting me into something that fit perfectly after all. I got the impression that, if I hadn’t proven I wasn’t totally helpless and did up my own boot laces, Cassandra would have seriously considered just knocking me out and carrying me over her shoulder to save time and effort. I’m not entirely convinced she shouldn’t do that anyway.

“Come,” she said, once she was satisfied with my appearance. “We have dallied here too long already.”

I nodded, following her obediently through a large set of gates and clutching my cloak about my shoulders tightly as we moved steadily towards the forward camp.

We seemed to be following a path and that made things easier. It was hard to tell with all the snow on the ground. It wasn’t uniform though; just a mountain path, not paved or otherwise flattened in any way beyond what was necessary for, what I guessed, were carts. This meant that, if I didn’t want to be taken by surprise by a random root or rock tripping me up, I was going to have to be careful. The last thing I wanted to do was seemingly trip over air and go sprawling face first in the snow. Cassandra already seemed to think I was useless which, admittedly, wasn’t an unfair conclusion in these particular circumstances. I didn’t want to make that impression worse by being unable to stay upright less than five minutes out of the gate.

I wished I had a stick or something to test the terrain in front of me but, unfortunately, I didn’t so I’d just have to suck it up and try not to fall. My foot twisted slightly as an uneven bit of ground caused me to lose balance. Thankfully I righted myself, hopefully before Cassandra could turn to see what was delaying me, and we moved on. I followed the imposing warrior forward into the wilderness, hoping that I wouldn’t be as much of a hindrance to her as I thought I’d be.


	2. Demons make everything more difficult

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter 2. This was more difficult than I initially thought. Turns out that I'm not all that good with fight scenes. 
> 
> This is un-betaed so any mistakes are all my own.

How I was still alive after falling from the bridge after the explosion, I will never know. I’m assuming that the nice, thick cloak combined with landing in a particularly thick snowdrift cushioned my fall. I hadn’t landed on my head at least so that was something. Nothing appeared broken or sprained. My legs were shaky as I stood up but, all things considered, I could be a lot worse off. Cassandra, for her part, seemed virtually unaffected, if annoyed that, once again, we had been delayed. At least this time it hadn’t been my fault. I could hardly be held responsible for a flying hunk of fade debris falling from the sky and destroying the bridge. Well, if she blamed me for the Breach then I could be tangentially blamed but so far no accusations were being tossed my way so I counted it as a win.  

“Are you alright?” Cassandra actually sounded a little concerned so, despite wanting to either curl up in a corner or snap that, no, I was definitely not alright with this situation, I nodded. Pissing off Cassandra was not a decision any sane individual in my position would make. 

“I think so, nothing hurts too badly.” I would have bruises for sure but nothing seemed permanently damaged. Cassandra appeared to study me a moment longer before nodding to herself and reaching into a pocket to pull out a vial of something.  

“Here,” she said, handing it to me. “You may need this up ahead.” I took it, turning it this way and that in my palm. It was a vial with a strangely coloured liquid inside which, I realised, must be a healing potion. I wanted to examine it more but I knew that would look weird so instead, I fished about for the little pouches attached to the belt I now wore. I’d needed it to keep the slightly oversized trousers up and, thankfully, attached to said belt were multiple little pouches perfect for carrying potions vials such as the one I was now holding.  

I found a pocket I thought would work alright and carefully tucked the vial away. Cassandra watched me do so before handing over another one plus two of a different colour which, I assumed, were probably stamina potions or something similar. I tucked them into a pouch just beside the healing potions so I wouldn’t get them muddled up by accident. A boost of energy wouldn’t be much help if I was bleeding out after all. Hopefully, I’d be able to steer clear of such a scenario but I wasn’t willing to take that chance so knowing exactly where everything I needed was stored was high on my list of priorities at the moment.  

Once satisfied, Cassandra had us move forward again. From above another projectile flew and, unfortunately for us, landed square in our path. Cassandra was leaping forward before I had a chance to realise that it had actually formed into something. I backed up a few paces, not wanting to be anywhere near the demon. I couldn’t tell much beyond that it was, well, obviously a demon. The sounds it made sent chills racing up my spine and I fought the urge to cover my ears, like nails on a blackboard combined with metal grating against metal and yet somehow worse than even both could ever be.  

From somewhere behind me, I heard something, a crunch of snow or a shifting stone…just something and it made all the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I turned and froze as something moved behind me. 

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.  _Crap_.  

My mind went blank as I yelped and stumbled backwards, only to realise I was backing towards Cassandra who had her own problems to deal with right now. I stumbled, fell on my ass, got back up and only thought about getting as far away from the thing as possible. There was an upturned cart nearby, probably from when the bridge exploded, and I raced behind it, knowing it would provide very little protection from the demon but not knowing where else to go.  

I scanned the area around me, desperately hoping to see something I could possibly use to buy myself some time when I spotted a bow lying nearby. It wasn’t in the best of shape with the wood cracked and slightly splintered. The string seemed alright though and, despite its appearance, I was pretty sure it would at least be able to fire off a few arrows before dying on me. It probably took some damage from the fall too… Now if only I could find some arrows. My eyes darted around me as my hands reached out, feeling about for anything vaguely arrow-shaped. Eventually, I felt something under a heavy shield. I heaved, grunting as the large metal annoyance shifted and I found a nearly full quiver of arrows. Perfect.  

The demon was quite large which meant I’d have a better chance of hitting it but I hadn’t actually picked up a bow in years. I’d only ever done some archery as a kid for fun once or twice every few years. Still, I wouldn’t be able to lift a sword or shield, I wasn’t willing to get in close with daggers and I wasn’t a mage. A bow was the least likely weapon to get me killed right off the bat and it let me stay as far away from opponents as possible while still being able to see them.  

I grabbed an arrow, fiddling with the end until I managed to get it to stay on the string, pulled my arm back and carefully stood from behind the cart. Thankfully it wasn’t a full sized longbow as I doubted I’d have the strength needed to fire it. Even now my arm was insisting that I couldn’t hold the bow taut for much longer but I had to if I wanted any chance at aiming the arrow somewhere useful.  

The demon hadn’t come too much closer while I’d been panicking thankfully. It hadn’t been too close when I’d bolted so I was thankful for that at least. If I’d been up against something with decent speed there’s no way I’d have gotten this far. My hands started to shake, not from cold this time, as I desperately tried to line up a shot.  

Crap, was it two fingers on top of one on top and two underneath the arrow on the string? I wasn’t sure. At the moment I had two on top and one underneath and I’d pulled the string back as far as it would go (or as far as I could get it anyway) and I didn’t have time to think about it more. Aiming for the middle of the thing I let the arrow loose.  

Not taking time to see where (or if) it hit; I grabbed another arrow, nocked and fired again. The arrow whizzed away from me towards the demon but I was already grabbing a third, fingers fumbling as I tried to nock it as quickly as possible. I hadn’t pulled the string as far back the second time so I doubted that arrow had actually flown far enough to hit the thing so I needed to be quick. I ducked my head, glaring at the bow as I finally got it and looked up again. I let out a small shriek as I realised the demon was almost towering over me. I fired on pure reflex, my fingers releasing the bowstring without conscious thought as a turned and ran as fast as I dared. The ground was uneven and, if I fell, I was dead. I decided to run towards Cassandra, hoping that, even if she was still busy, I’d still be safer nearer her than on my own. The shriek from behind me, sounding rather angry, told me that at least the last arrow hat hit something rather painful. Turned out I could only hit the thing when it was barely two meters away. 

 _Fucking Fantastic._  

Thankfully the warrior was just finishing her own demon battle and, as I ran as fast as I dared towards her, she charged towards me. At first, I thought she was targeting me and I yelped, bringing up my arms to shield my face on reflex but, instead, she ran right past me and charged the demon following closely at my heals. I whirled to find Cassandra engaging the (way too close for comfort) demon and dispatching it with almost laughable ease. I’d like to think that my arrows helped a little but, realistically, I knew I’d probably done little more than piss it off.  

Danger dealt with for the moment, Cassandra turned back to face me. Immediately I dropped the bow I’d been carrying and held out my hands, palms up to show that I was no longer armed, pre-empting her inevitable order for me to drop it anyway. She paused, clearly surprised by my gesture but then I heard a rather dramatic sigh.  

“You should keep that,” She sounded extremely grudging. “I cannot protect you at all times and, even if you are clearly not trained, a bow is better than nothing. We will, however, need to find a better one if possible.” I wanted to be offended. It may not be pretty but it had worked hadn’t it? It did far better than I was expecting. I picked up the bow, wondering how I was meant to carry it since I didn’t have anything which I could attach it to.  

Cassandra helped me retrieve the fired arrows, quiver, and a harness to carry them on my back before helping me get them on. I probably looked ridiculous with the harness for the quiver on top of my cloak but it was still cold and even the adrenaline rush hadn’t warmed me up enough to get rid of it. As long as I could fire and stay out of the way of Cassandra, I didn’t care how stupid I looked. It did mean that I couldn’t properly wrap the cloak around me like I had before but it was still better than removing it completely.  

-o0o- 

I stared up the flight of stairs before us. I could hear fighting not far off and I knew that this was where I was going to officially meet Varric and Solas. How was I supposed to react? What was I supposed to do? How was I meant to handle this situation? Why was it only now that my brain decided that, yes, panic was a viable option and not when I woke up with my hands bound? Cassandra clearly noticed my hesitation because she stopped, one foot on the first stair, to glance back at me.  

“Stay behind me,” she instructed. “I will not allow an enemy to approach you. You are untrained but, should you have the chance, do not be afraid to shoot.” Knowing Cassandra would have my back was a heartening thought; the woman was terrifying in a fight. That, however, wasn’t my real concern.  

“I’m more afraid that I’ll hit someone on our side.” It was a legitimate fear. Fights were chaotic and the terrain didn’t exactly make it easy to judge what I was aiming at. Someone might accidentally move into my path or something or my aim might be off or maybe a stray blast of wind would knock it off course. There was also the chance that I could just accidentally target someone on our side if I couldn’t see them clearly enough or- 

“Trust our fighters to be able to handle themselves,” Cassandra’s voice was hard again as she stared at me. “We must deal with the rift up ahead or more demons will overrun us. We must act now.”  

“Right.” Taking a deep breath I steeled myself, grabbed my bow off my back and followed Cassandra up the stairs. I could tell Cassandra was annoyed at my pace without looking at her but I wasn’t a trained warrior nor was I used to hiking in snow that seemed to want to suck my boots in and down and not let go. I had managed alright up until now, if slower than I know she would have liked, but I hated stairs. I grit my teeth and pushed on. Nearly there. I couldn’t let something happen to Varric or Solas, not before I’d had a chance to meet them. I couldn’t get companions killed before I’d even met them. Nope; not going to happen. I had a fleeting thought that, if Solas died now, it might make things easier in the long run but I had no way of knowing that for sure. If I changed something so fundamental so early there was no way to know what the consequences would be. It might be worth it but…realistically there was no way Solas was going to die no matter how long we took. He was too good a mage, had too much experience, to fall in a small battle like this. He was the Dread Wolf and there was no way I could even think about making any moves against him right now. 

Once at the top of the stairs, the sounds of battle were even clearer and Cassandra charged in that direction, leaving me to catch up. I followed as fast as I could. She jumped off a ledge leading down to where the fighting was. Instead of following her I set myself on top of the ridge, pulled out an arrow, nocked it and tried to figure out where people and demons alike were on the field. It was no good. If I wanted to fight I’d need to get closer to figure out what was actually going on but I couldn’t tell if there was any cover down there or not. Did I dare? Did I actually want to join in? I knew they couldn’t close the rift without the damn mark but would they be able to handle the fight with only Cassandra, Varric and Solas? I knew they had to be good fighters; they wouldn’t have survived if they weren’t so was my participation really all that necessary?  

A roar of rage I immediately identified as Cassandra jerked me out of my thoughts. From where I was I couldn’t see her and I didn’t think that was a good thing.  

“Fuck it,” I let the bow drop, released the arrow and put it back in the quiver. Swallowing hard I moved forward, managing to lower myself safely down from the ridge. When I righted myself I couldn’t spot anything coming towards me so I had time to once again ready an arrow. I crouched, trying to look as small and unthreatening as possible (not exactly a difficult featuring) as I crept closer. I thought I could see some demons clustered in one area so, taking a deep breath, I lined up an arrow and fired. After firing I decided to move, thinking it probably wasn’t a good idea to stay in one place for too long. I wasn’t exactly a tank so moving was probably my best bet when not too many combatants were paying attention to me.  

I managed to find a large rock to crouch behind and, from there, started picking targets at almost random to fire at. I finally spotted Cassandra, steel flashing and light reflecting off the blade making it easier for me to pick her out in the Frey. She and the pack of demons she was fighting had moved closer to me and I could now tell that there was three of them, two in front with one approaching from behind. Trusting her words from earlier, I nocked yet another arrow and aimed it at the one trying to attack from behind. It let out a screech as my arrow made contact and Cassandra, hearing the noise, turned from her recently killed opponents to engage the third. The shrill call of another demon on the other side of the field drew my attention and I aimed at it. My arrow didn’t hit this time, I was sure of that. There was no cry of pain. I did, however, get its attention as it started to move towards me.  

Panicking, I reached for an arrow, fumbled, grabbed two, dropped one and finally managed to fit the one arrow I was still clutching to the bow. As the demon charged towards me I prepared to fire only for a blast of…something…to knock it away. It didn’t go far but, while it was down and temporarily not moving, I took the chance to fire at it as many times as I was able. It shrieked and, to my amazement, didn’t get back up. I’d actually managed to kill it. I didn’t know how and, for the moment, I didn’t have time because someone was grabbing my left wrist and lifting it into the air.  

Dimly I could hear a male voice speaking but I couldn’t focus on that as the mark sparked, blazed with pain as a connection form between it and the rift I’d been ignoring for the duration of the battle. I jerked in the person’s hold as the mark spasmed and then, mercifully, the rift closed and the mark seemed to settle. The constant, throbbing pain it had been giving off since I woke up diminished somewhat. Thank fuck for that.  

I realised, at some point, my eyes had closed of their own volition, probably due to the flash of pain and then relief of not having the throbbing in my hand aching so constantly. I opened my eyes and glanced to my left and up to see a bald head and pointed ears.  

“Um…” What exactly was I supposed to say in this situation? “Thank you?” Apparently, my brain and mouth weren’t communicating right now. Then again, when in doubt, be polite.  

“You are welcome although I did nothing; it was you who sealed the rift.” His voice definitely sounded Welsh. It was weird how accurate the game had been when choosing actors for the different voices.  

“You stopped the demon from charging at me though, didn’t you?” I now realised that the ball of something which had knocked it over had been magic cast by Solas. He’d weakened it enough that even I could kill it and then he’d run to me to get me to use the mark on the rift.  

“And here I thought we’d be ass deep in demons forever.” American, brash, confident. I whirled to find Varric strolling up behind us, hefting Bianca onto his back as he reached us and held out a hand. “Varric Tethras, Rogue, storyteller, and, occasionally, unwelcome tag along.”  

“Nice to meet you Varric. I’m Lily,” I said and I couldn’t keep the grin off my face as I stared down at him. Was it wrong to be glad that I had finally met someone that wasn’t my granny who was shorter than me? Not, I noticed, as much as I would have thought. Damn, I’m only a few inches taller than what I guessed was the average height for a dwarf. If all humans in this world were as tall as Cassandra and Leliana, I had a feeling that, when not around elves and dwarves, I was going to end up feeling very, very small most of the time.  

I reached out and shook his hand, internally squealing at the thought. I only then realised that it was the first time I’d actually said my name since arriving In Thedas. Neither Cassandra nor Leliana had actually asked for it.   

“My name is Solas if there are to be introductions.” Came the Welsh-accented voice from behind me and I turned to give Solas s sheepish smile.  

“It’s nice to meet both of you.” And I meant it, for the moment at least. I was deliberately not thinking about Solas and the future of Thedas. That was a bridge I was definitely not even going to contemplate crossing until we were way, way closer to it.  

Now that the immediate danger was passed I felt myself relax slightly and loosened the grip I had on my bow. I let it drop for a moment, rubbing my fingers to ease the cramp somewhat and only belatedly realised that it wouldn’t do any good with the gauntlets.   

“So…how exactly did I do that? Close the rift I mean,” I added hastily. It wouldn’t do to look like I knew what I was doing right off the bat. “Do I just wiggle my fingers and…” I demonstrated, wiggling said fingers for effect. I just couldn’t help quoting Dorian at that moment. Now that was a meeting I was definitely looking forward to. I heard Varric snort and Cassandra let out a rather disgruntled huff. My attention was on Solas though, hoping that he could provide some sort of explanation. This, after all, was caused by an artefact of his so it was his fault that all this crap was happening right now. I didn’t know if it was his fault that I was here right enough but, yeah, green glowy hole in my hand, demon spewing rifts, general chaos and mayhem across Thedas, that could all be put at the feet of the once-god in front of me. 

“I hypothesise that the mark is a direct link to the fade and, therefore, the rifts which connect it to this realm. It is this connection that allows you to close them.” Well, that was vague enough to definitely be considered a non-answer. Still, it would have to do for now. “While you slept I helped stabilise the energies within it.”  

“He means,” put in Varric.” That he kept it from killing you in your sleep. Judging by the sparks it was giving off, didn’t seem all that pleasant.”  

“It wasn’t,” I grumbled, resisting the urge to rub at my left palm like I had my fingers earlier. I was glad I’d been unconscious when Solas was stabilising the damn thing. If that had been it stabilised…I didn’t even want to think about how painful it would have been before. “Thank you.” I definitely meant it, even if it was his fault the thing was on my hand in the first place.  

“You are welcome.” He smiled at me, seemingly pleased, probably because I’d just stroked his ego or something.  

“Solas is an apostate who offered to aid us after the explosion at the conclave,” Cassandra put in, breaking the three of us out of our little bubble. “It is, indeed, thanks to him that you survived long enough to wake.”  

“So, what now?” I asked, feeling like I was being incredibly passive but with no idea what to do about it. I hadn’t a clue what I was supposed to do next. Damn it, I’d only finished playing dragon age 2 a little while ago. I knew the basic events of Inquisition but I’d not actually played the game yet. My knowledge of what was meant to come next was, at best, shoddy and missing large portions of events and fantastically sparse at worse.  

“Now, we head to the valley to help out the soldiers there I suppose,” Varric grinned. “Bianca can’t wait to have some more fun.”  

“Absolutely not!” Cassandra’s voice was iron as she turned to face the dwarf. “I appreciate your help Varric but- “  

“But nothing Seeker,” Varric interrupted. “The valley’s crawling with demons. Admit it; you need us. Plus, your prisoner clearly has no clue what she’s doing, no offence.”  

He added the last in an aside to me, sounding apologetic. I held up my hands in a show of surrender. I knew I was next to useless. It was a wonder I hadn’t hit anyone and, judging by Varric’s tone, he knew it too.  

“He’s got a point,” I ventured, hoping that Cassandra wouldn’t bite my head off for speaking up. “I mean, I haven’t used a bow since I was, like, twelve or thirteen and I only barely hit what I was aiming at. Varric clearly knows how to handle his crossbow right? Wouldn’t you rather have people who know what they’re doing at your back than just, well, me?”  

“Come on Seeker,” put in Varric. “You know Chuckles and I will be a lot of help in the valley. What’ve you got to lose by letting us tag along?” 

Cassandra seemed to mull this over before sighing loudly. I hoped that was a good sign.  

“Fine,” she sounded grudging but I was delighted. This would make things a lot easier. I didn’t know if it was possible not to recruit Solas and Varric at this point so if I’d somehow managed to alienate one or both of them…nope. Not thinking about that right now. They were recruited; things were going along as they should have as far as I knew. I tuned back in as Cassandra continued speaking.  “We will make our way to the valley. Solas, are you also interested in accompanying us?”  

“I would be honoured to assist.” He gave a little bow to the Seeker who nodded before turned away.  

“Follow me.”  

We moved out, Cassandra leading, me behind with Solas to my right and Varric to my left.  This made it easier to talk to Varric as we walked. It was a good distraction from how sore my legs were getting. It didn’t help that I wasn’t used to carrying such a heavy weight on my back. I’d used a rucksack quite a bit over the last few years, it being easier than a shoulder bag when walking with a guide dog, but the weight distribution felt different and I felt like I was going to overbalance if I wasn’t constantly checking myself.  

“So, where’re you from” Varric began the conversation. “Your accent reminds me a bit of a guy I knew from Starkhaven.” Damn it. Why’d he have to start with that? “Or you could tell us how you came out of the fade with the glowy green mark on your hand.“ Had he seen how much I didn't want to talk about where I'm from? Was I really that transparent? I took the out he'd offered (knowingly or otherwise) with both hands.  

“Would you believe me if I said I don’t know?” 

“Nope,” he said, the grin audible in his voice even if I wasn’t looking at him, paying more attention to my footing and the ground just in front of me. “Tip from a storyteller, pick something a little more believable.”  

“Hard to do when you don’t have any other story to tell,” I pointed out. I couldn’t exactly start going on about how the mark was caused by Fen’Harel, now could I?  I also couldn’t just blurt out that said elven god was walking on my other side and probably studying me very closely at the moment. “I woke, tied up, with this thing on my hand. Not exactly a great start to the day.”  

“You can say that again,” he snorted and I internally gave myself a mental point. Looked like sarcasm was, like in Dragon Age 2, a good way to endear myself to Varric. Good to know. I was also pleased to note that, for the moment, the subject of where I was from seemed to have been dropped. I hoped that that particular subject stayed dropped just a wee bit longer so I could come up with a cover story of some sort. Could I maybe play the amnesia card? That might work. After all, no one knew what effect the mark would have on my physically or mentally. Solas might guess that something was up but he couldn’t really say all that much without outing himself as knowing far more than he should. Or at least I hoped he couldn’t.  

I was doing a lot of guessing and I just knew that that was going to blow up in my face in a big way at some point but for now that was all I could do until I could come up with a more concrete plan to deal with all this shit. For the moment the best thing I could do was focus on staying out of the more experienced fighters way and not making a nuisance of myself during combat.  

“So, why pick a bow if you haven’t used one in so long?” The sound of Varric’s voice jolted me back to reality again and I jumped slightly, almost losing my balance again. I grimaced; glad I hadn’t fallen and resisted the urge to glare at the dwarf. It wasn’t his fault I’d gotten lost in my own head.  

“I’d rather not die right now,” was the first thing that slipped from my mouth. Damn it. Why couldn’t I seem to think before speaking? I couldn’t exactly leave it at that so I continued, elaborating further. “I doubt I’d be any good with daggers and there’s no way I could lift a sword and swing it with any chance of hitting something, other than myself most likely. Plus, I at least had a lesson or two when I was little. I can barely remember any of it now but that’s better than nothing right?” 

“Fair enough,” Varric replied. “I’ll have to give you a few tips though.”  

“Would you? Please?” Ouch. I sounded way too desperate.  

“Sure thing, Rookie.” I could hear the grin in his voice. “You clearly need it.”  

“That’s putting it mildly,” I grumbled. “Wait, Rookie? Seriously?” Was that going to be my nickname? Granted it was better than Broody or Blondie but…seriously?  

“It fits,” Varric shrugged. 

“At least your choice of moniker is appropriate this time,” Solas commented. I wanted to glare at him but… 

“I don’t belong anywhere near a battlefield. Ask Cassandra. I’m more worried about accidentally hitting someone on our side than an actual demon.” Maybe the damn name fits but that didn't mean I had to like it. 

“You did alright for what I’m assuming was your first melee,” Varric encouraged. “Just hang in there and we’ll have you firing rapid shots in no time.”  

I highly, highly doubted it. Still, any tips Varric was willing to pass on would definitely be helpful. Maybe when we recruited Sera I could get her to help too…maybe in exchange for letting her prank a few people or something? I could worry about that later though, for now, I had to focus on whatever was coming next.  

-o0o- 

There were a couple more demon encounters before we reached the base camp but I mainly stuck to the back, hoping not to get in the way. Cassandra, Varric and Solas seemed to have things well in hand. I had my bow out, arrow ready but I wasn’t needed. I couldn’t help but think that was a good thing. I was sure that, during some portions of the journey, I was working on complete autopilot, following Cassandra’s directions and trying not to get in the way. I'd been forced to down a stamina draught at some point, my legs not cooperating when I told them that yes; we did have to keep going and no; we couldn't take a break right now. It tasted somewhat bitter, not unbearably so but definitely unpleasant. I'd grimaced drinking it, only barely managing not to stick my tongue out in disgust.

Eventually, we all made it to the base camp with all our limbs intact and without depleting the small potions supply Cassandra had rationed out between the four of us beyond my needed stamina draught. My legs were aching but the fact that I’d made it this far was, quite frankly, a miracle I wasn’t going to take for granted.  

Once in camp Cassandra immediately set about searching for Leliana. As we passed men and women I could hear whispering, accusations being hurled my way when people realised exactly who I was but not why I was there. I unconsciously moved a little closer to Varric, feeling extremely uncomfortable. General tendency to avoid large crowds plus accusatory tones did not make for a comfortable experience. Thankfully Leliana was found quickly although the person currently yelling standing beside her was definitely not as welcome a sight.  

“Here they come. “ Great. His voice was as annoying as it had been in the clips I’d watched.  

“You made it.” Leliana, at least, seemed happy to see us, probably just Cassandra but I could dream, right? “Chancellor Roderick, this is-“ 

“I know who she is.” Damn. He could give Cassandra a run for her money with how much venom was in those five syllables. “As chancellor of the chantry, I order you to take this woman prisoner and transport her to Val Royeaux to await execution.” 

And here we go. A stupid politician like figure trying to give orders to the people who actually knew what they were doing. Fantastic. It was probably best for me not to speak up so I kept my mouth shut, knowing that Cassandra would handle it. A thought occurred to me then; how was Leliana going to introduce me? I hadn’t actually been asked for a name at the point we’d parted ways and I hadn’t been separated from Cassandra so there was no way for the Seeker to have told the redhead. Plus, the interruption was just rude.  

“You? A glorified bureaucrat? Order me?” The indignation in Cassandra’s tone was clear as day and, although I was behind her (definitely not hiding, I told myself) I could picture the glare she would be levelling at the man at that moment.  

“You serve the Chantry, do you not Seeker? You may be a glorified thug but your duty is clear.” The sneer in his voice was, I thought, rather reminiscent of Draco Malfoy.  

“We serve the Most Holy, Chancellor, as you well know,” interjected Leliana, playing peacekeeper between the two.  

“You cannot serve a dead woman! You serve no one until the next divine can be elected! We must return to Val Royeaux immediately.” 

“Because bureaucracy is always immediate,” I muttered. I heard a small snicker from Varric but, unfortunately for me, that drew the Chancellor’s attention back to me.  

“We don’t need comments from the likes of you,” his voice was almost a snarl. “You shouldn’t even be here.” Well, he wasn’t wrong about that at least. His attention switched back to Cassandra thankfully and away from me. “Seeker, we need to call a retreat and do it now before more lives are lost.” 

“We have a chance to stop this now before the situation deteriorates further.”  

“How? There’s no way you’d survive the trek to the temple, not even with all your soldiers. Give it up Seeker; there’s nothing we can do.”  

“We must get to the temple,” Cassandra insisted. “It is the only way to stop this. Charging with the soldiers is the quickest way to do so.” 

“But not the safest,” Leliana interjected, rejoining the conversation. “There is a path through the mountains. It is longer but there is a higher chance of success, I believe.”  

“We lost scouts in those mountains already, how can you be so sure?” Cassandra rebutted. I glanced in the direction Leliana gestured and felt my stomach sink. There was no way I’d be able to make it, not even if I chugged stamina potions to do so. I knew that, if we went up there, we could help Lelianas' lost scouts but if we went up there I’d be even more of a hindrance than I already was and that wasn’t fair either. I could get everyone killed by being a liability. I was broken out of my reverie by Cassandra asking me what I thought we should do. I wanted to be sarcastic, pointing out that it wasn’t like they’d been eager to hear what I had to say before but the fact that I’d already made my decision stopped me. I felt guilty and that guilt meant I didn’t feel comfortable making stupid quips at that moment.  

“I think we should charge with the soldiers.” My voice wasn’t as strong as I would have liked. I cleared my throat, trying again. “You say me earlier. I have no clue what I’m doing and there’s no way I’m fit enough to go over a mountain. I’d just make things more difficult and I don’t think that would help anyone.”  

“Listen to yourselves! This is foolish. Stop this before more lives are lost.”  

Before anyone could reply to Roderick’s statement the rift let lose a discharge of energy again. The mark fluctuated. I grabbed my hand, yelping at the feeling it gave off but, thankfully, not collapsing like I had the first time. Looks like soothing the earlier rift helped somewhat. Good to know. When that giant hole in the sky was closed, hopefully, that would be even better.  

“We don’t have much time,” Cassandra stated. “Leliana, gather everyone left in the valley. We must move, now.”  

As we fell in behind Cassandra I heard Roderick’s parting words and I shivered. “On your head be the consequences, Seeker.” Only it wasn’t on Cassandra’s head, it was on mine. I knew what was going to happen, a rough idea of it anyway. No matter what we did, things were going to go to hell in a handbasket (more than they were at the moment) but that didn’t mean the thought of actually being responsible for this shit wasn’t terrifying. I knew I was compartmentalising at the moment but, right now, that was probably the best thing I could do. If I started panicking right now there was no way we’d be able to get this done. No, focus on the here and now for the moment. If things went like they were supposed to, at some point I’d wake up in a hut in Haven and, when alone, I could have my breakdown then. What was it Mam always said? Keep it together in public, break down in private. Yup, that was what I was going to do. I’d managed to stick to that all the way through Uni; Surely I could manage another couple hours of it here…right?  

Right. And maybe I’d suddenly be able to produce a hail of arrows or set fire to Roderick’s stupid hat with my mind.  

“You alright there, Rookie?” Varrick asked. I realised that it was the first time since I woke up that someone had actually asked me that. Damn it, I was not going to cry because of that. I was not going to break down just because someone asked me how I was handling all this shit. 

“Not really,” I muttered, looking firmly down at the ground and not at the dwarf to my right. “I have no clue what I’m doing.”  

“Neither do the rest of us,” he pointed out. 

“True but at least you can defend yourselves,” I replied. “I’m crap with a bow and the most I know about swords and daggers is “stick 'em with the pointy end”.” I made an exaggerated hand motion like I was brandishing a sword and poking someone rather deliberately with it. This seemed to amuse Varric as I heard him let out a full belly laugh which caused Cassandra to turn to regard us with a glare. Even if I couldn't see it I could certainly feel it. Damn, she was scary. I wondered what she thought of my comment and internally winced. She’d probably be a bit pissed about that. Everything seemed to annoy Cassandra besides Solas (who kept quiet so avoided her wrath) and Leliana.  

Speaking of said pointy-eared companion; I heard a chuckle from my left and turned to see Solas with a slight smile on his face.  

“I do believe,” he commented. “That that is the single most accurate and yet inaccurate description of handling bladed weapons I have ever heard.”  

I flushed, sure I was being mocked. What had I expected? Still, at least it made two out of three companions laughed. I definitely counted that as a win.  Thank you, Game of Thrones references. 

We moved forward, climbing a set of stairs but, at the foot of another set, Varric halted us. Cassandra seemed ready to protest but Varric held up a hand, moving away from the group a moment and bending down to inspect some items lying about the camp. I watched, puzzled until he stood triumphantly with a bow and what looked like a jacket clutched in his hands.  

“Here,” he said, walking back and handing them to me. “As warm as that cloak is, it’s impractical if we’re going to be charging. You need something with a little more protection anyway, plus this bow isn’t nearly as…”  

“Crap,” I suggested.  

“As your current one,” Varric seemed to take my interruption in stride. I looked at the bow, reaching out to feel it. I couldn’t feel much through the gauntlets but, as I held it up to inspect it, I could tell that while not the best, it was a hell of a lot better than my current one. Shrugging, I managed to get out of the harness containing the bow and quiver. I hesitated at the cloak, clutching it about me a moment longer before sighing and taking it off. Next was the tunic-like piece which had acted as my armour so that I was stood in the falling snow in just my T-shirt and the gauntlets. I’d been paying attention to Cassandra when she first put the thing on me and I found it was much easier to take off than on. I undid buckles at random until I could lift it up and over my head. I started shivering again almost immediately, snowflakes landing on my exposed arms. The jacket Varric was still holding looked awfully inviting.  

Even though I’d been thinking of it as a jacket it was like the tunic thing I’d been wearing but much heavier and longer, coming down to just above my knees. With some help from Varric, we soon had me outfitted again.  I'd needed his help with some of the more fiddly clasps thanks to my gauntlets. I wondered how much attention Solas and Varric had paid to the Ravenclaw crest on my shirt. If Solas had been tending the mark he’d probably already seen it but I wondered if Varric would comment on it or not. Still, we had bigger problems at the moment and, once I had the new bow and quiver full of arrows strapped to my back, we were off.  

We climbed another set of stairs and almost immediately found ourselves in the middle of another fight. Instinctively I dropped back, reaching for the bow and quiver. I might as well have not even bothered attaching the bow to the nares since we walked into trouble literally two minutes after I did so. Once again my three companions proved to be far more competent than I (big surprise) but, when I thought I could get away with it, I fired shots at the glowing green demons. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember what kind of demon they were but, thankfully, they were taken care of quickly. 

“We must seal the rift before we can continue,” Solas Called from up ahead. I grimaced, moving forward on wobbly legs to near the base of said rift.  

“How many of these demon-spewing things are there/” I could hear Varric grumble as I approached. I knew we had to act quickly before more demons appeared so, when I reached the rift, I held my hand out, not sure what else to do. Immediately a connection formed between my palm and the rift. I felt a jolt go through me (thankfully once again not painful) as the rift began to fold in on itself, shrinking until nothing remained but empty air.  

“You appear to be becoming quite proficient at that,” Solas commented from beside me. I turned and gave him a weak smile.  

“At least this thing’s good for something,” I muttered, looking down at the green glowing thing visible even through the gauntlet. “But I don’t think it’s me. I have no control over this. I think it has a mind of its own.”  

Solas was spared responding to my comment by a voice calling from Cassandra. It was male and very familiar. I turned to see a figure with a large black... thing of fur or feathers (it was hard to tell) draped over his shoulders. In the cold weather, I suddenly realised that it was way more practical than I originally thought. I was warm enough with the new armour but I still missed my nice, warm cloak even if I had looked ridiculous in it.  

“It was not me, Commander,” Cassandra stated, turning and gesturing towards me. "It was the prisoner’s doing. The mark on her hand was able to close the rifts.”  

“Oh,” he sounded surprised. He turned towards me and took a couple steps forward. I fought not to back up. Damn it; when was I going to stop acting like a damn skittish cat around these people? I couldn’t hide behind Varric or Cassandra anytime someone new approached. “I hope they’re right about you. We’ve lost a lot of people getting you here.” That hurt. It wasn’t my fault that people were lost and I knew that, even if I’d been someone else, they would have died anyway. That didn’t make me feel better about it though.  

He was still staring at me, probably waiting for me to respond. “Well,” I began. “If they’re saying I know how to close the rifts then…I can do it. I don’t know how but I can. Everyone seems to be hoping I can do it with the big one too.”  

“We’ll see soon enough, won’t we?” He turned, clearly dismissing me from his consideration for the moment and refocusing on Cassandra. I felt annoyed but didn’t comment. I had no clue what I was doing and Cassandra was the one in charge here. It was only fair that he focus on her. He was a trained soldier and it was likely obvious to even a blind nug that I had no clue what I was doing and was just following along behind the Seeker. That, however, didn’t stop me from mouthing “dick” at his retreating back. I had no excuse, it just felt good to do so. Varric caught it and chuckled, shoving my shoulder playfully.  

“Might want to keep an eye on that,” he commented. “Might get you in trouble.” 

“Aren’t I already in trouble?” I questioned.  

“Good point.”  

“Enough talking,” Cassandra barked. “We must move, now.”  

Sobering up, we followed Cassandra once again. Internally I was cringing. This was not going to be pleasant. 


	3. Talking through problems is tiresome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left Kuros and reviewed the last two chapters! I really, really appreciate it! 
> 
> I finished editing this chapter earlier than I originally intended. The next two chapters are written (I'm at just over 40.000 words currently) but I likely won't post them as quickly. From this point on updates will likely slow but I'll try and keep roughly the same length. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this latest update! Feedback is deeply appreciated! 
> 
> As always this work is un-betaed so any mistakes are my own.

Warm. I was so nice and warm that I didn’t want to move ever again. I kept my eyes closed, relaxing into the feeling of the soft bed and warm covers cocooning me. I smiled, pulling the covers more firmly around me. I was forgetting something, half asleep as I was, but right now I was warm and comfortable so it didn’t matter. I’d have to get up soon, I knew. The dog wouldn't take herself out after all but, for now, I could enjoy lying here a little while longer.  

Something was nagging at me though, something important.  

As I became more aware I started to notice something. For one the bed was too soft. I had a nice, firm mattress so the fact that I was actually sinking into the surface beneath me was decidedly odd. Next, the covers smelled different. I couldn’t place the smell but I knew that they just smelled wrong. Thirdly, the pillow, now that I was paying attention, felt different too. I couldn’t place exactly what but if I had to guess, I’d say that it had feathers inside of it rather than…whatever it was pillows were stuffed with when it wasn’t feathers.  

Confusion growing, I reluctantly opened my eyes and froze. I was in a wooden cabin of some sort. I couldn’t make out much from the windows and the door was firmly shut. Candles in wall sconces lit the room, bathing everything in a warm, flickering glow. A fire was blazing in a hearth beside the bed, heat fanning across my face.  

Memories came back in a rush and I groaned, burying my head into the pillow, trying desperately to pretend that I wasn’t conscious enough to remember exactly what had happened the last time I’d woken up in an unfamiliar and yet familiar location. Damn it. Why couldn’t it have been a dream?  

An extremely realistic, extremely terrifying, impossible dream.  

Why me? Why the fuck was I here and how the fuck did it happen in the first place? Now that I was alone I finally had a chance to think about everything that had happened and, justifiably, freak the fuck out about it.  

Dimly I noticed that I’d been changed into a new set of clothes. They felt light but warm, definitely more comfortable than the improvised armour I’d worn before. I had a feeling armour would have made curling into a ball much more difficult.  

This time alone, inevitably, lead to me beginning to hyperventilate. How did I get here? How was I supposed to proceed? Would things unfold like the game or could I change things for the better? Would me trying to change things make it worse? Should I out Solas now? Would people believe me? What about the mages and Templars? Was there a way to save both groups or would I be stuck trying to choose? Which of my wardens and Hawkes (if any) were present in this world? How was I supposed to know how to react to things if I didn’t know how the world was set up and what events transpired over the last fifteen or so years? Could I fake amnesia? I’d had the fleeting thought of doing that last time I was awake but I didn’t think I could manage that convincingly. Then again; I could always claim my memories were fuzzy, not gone but just unclear. It worked with the events leading up to me being thrown out of the Fade with the mark on my hand (despite me not actually remembering that particular event) but there was no guarantee it would work again.  

I’m not sure how long I lay there, thoughts swirling around in my head with no clear answers presenting themselves. My brain seemed to be tying itself in knots, trying to work out how much information to share and with whom. It was no use though; everything was just too big. I only knew the bare bones of what was going to happen, had only seen a couple cutscenes and read a lot of fanfics in preparation for finally playing the game. Even though I’d been through a few fights, been to the temple, nothing quite felt real yet. Events there had proceeded as they had in game (as far as I was aware) with images of past events popping up to show that, yes, I had been at the temple but, no, I couldn't remember any of it. We'd made it to the rift that connected to the Breach and... nope. Not thinking about that anymore. Too much, too soon.  

I knew that, in this world, everyone wasn’t just a character in a game but an actual, real-life person but…but I didn’t feel it yet. I knew that would change. I’d get to know people, have conversations outside of game-specific dialogue and then possibly have to watch them die if I made the wrong choice. It was already starting to happen with Varric and Cassandra. There was also a high chance that it wouldn’t’ be my companions that would die but me instead. I managed to survive last time but there was no guarantee my good luck would hold. Thankfully, since this wasn’t a game, I could probably take more than three people with me when I went out on missions so that would likely make things a bit easier. Or maybe I could delegate once I reached a certain point? Get others to do the quests that didn’t involve glowing rips in reality leading to another realm full of spirits and demons? It was a nice thought although not one I was positive would be achievable.  

Speaking of the rifts…what would I do if we managed to close the Breach and people thought it was over? How did I bring up the possibility of things not being over? How would I deal with Haven being attacked when people were celebrating. If I didn’t figure out something then people were going to die and, if I somehow managed to fall into the tunnel that the game character did, then how the hell was I going to survive it?  Not to mention actually managing to get to where the rest of the inquisition had camped that night?  

Was it worth just telling people I wasn't from Thedas at all and knew about future events? 

How the hell was I supposed to deal with Corypheus? 

My breaths came in short pants as I curled up under the thick covers and well and truly started to panic. I was shaking and couldn’t seem to stop. My head was spinning, too many possibilities and not nearly enough information. This was all way, way too big and complicated to handle on my own. 

My throat closed up, making it more difficult to breathe as my eyes watered and I tried not to retch. Calm. I needed to calm down. Easier said than done when in the middle of a panic attack. The last time something like this had happened I'd needed someone to talk me down. I was on my own here and I couldn't afford to lose it in front of anyone just yet.  

Gradually, my throat opened up and I stopped retching. I was still shaking but, as time passed, I was able to take longer and longer breaths. At some point, I remembered the calming exercises I’d been taught after the last time this had happened. Deep breath in, hold, deep breath out, focus on relaxing the muscles. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Over and over I breathed, trying to force myself to stop thinking about what had caused the panic attack. Once again easier said than done but, eventually, I managed to get myself calm enough that I wasn’t about to fly off the handle if I so much as thought the words Corypheus or Inquisition.  

A sound from near the door I’d spotted earlier had me turning my head in that direction. A woman with dark hair entered carrying something. She suddenly stopped and dropped whatever it was she was carrying, dropping to the ground herself. I sat up, startled. I hoped the firelight hid how red my face was from crying earlier.  

“Forgive me, I didn’t know you were awake,” the woman, girl, babbled. If this was like the cutscene then I assumed she was an elf but, from this distance, I couldn't make out if her ears were pointed or not. I couldn’t remember the woman's name or if it had ever been mentioned but resolved to ask once I got her to stop bowing. Damn, that was making me feel uncomfortable.  

“It’s alright. Can you tell me what happened?” I tried to keep my voice soft, not wanting to spook her further. “And please stand up, you don’t have to kneel like that.”  

Unfortunately, she didn’t get up and I grimaced. Great. This was not going to be fun. I felt extremely awkward, sitting there staring at a kneeling woman who wasn’t even looking at me, head fixed firmly down and facing the ground.  

“You are back in Haven, My Lady,” the woman began, voice hesitant and full of awe. “You did it. The breach stopped growing, like the mark on your hand. It’s all everyone’s been talking about for the past three days. It’s still in the sky but…” She trailed off, clearly not sure what to say now.   

Gingerly, I raised my left hand to stare at the glowing mark. It was still an unearthly shade of green, not that I’d expected that to change, but it seemed to have settled down which I could only be grateful for. Thoughts of the mark lead to thoughts of the Breach and Solas and his orb and I had to forcefully pull myself back before I started hyperventilating again. I wasn’t alone anymore so I wasn’t going to break down again. 

“What now?” I asked.  

“Lady Cassandra wanted to be told as soon as you woke,” the girl replied, clearly fretful. “She’ll want to see you soon. She’s in the Chantry with the Chancellor and the others. I should…should go now.” She stood, clearly intending to make her way back to the door, probably trying to do a runner to report back to Cassandra that I had, in fact, woken. 

“Wait!” I called and cringed at the volume of my voice. Damn it, I hadn't meant to say that so loudly. “I… don't know where the Chantry is and I don’t know where in Haven I am. Could you maybe wait for me to get ready and then show me where to go? I don’t know the layout of Haven at all and I think I’ll get lost if I try and find it on my own.” I remembered the size of towns like Redcliffe and Lothering in Dragon Age: Origins but I doubted Haven would be so small and easy to navigate. More than likely any necessary buildings in those towns which weren’t necessary for gameplay had been cut. Even if I'd known Haven's layout I had no way of how accurate that information would have been. I was definitely likely to get myself turned around and lost within a few minutes. I’d need to get someone to draw me a nice, clear map so that I could get used to the layout of the place since this would be our home base for a while. At least until we reached Skyhold.  

Nope, not thinking about that right now. Need to focus on just getting to the chantry. Think about disastrous, town destroying attacks later.  

“I…if that is what my lady wishes.” I wasn’t sure what that tone meant but I hoped that I hadn't scared her. I climbed out of bed carefully, standing and stretching as I as my feet came into contact with a soft rug by the side of the bed. I wiggled my toes slightly, enjoying the soft feeling before glancing around the cabin for my boots and other belongings. 

A set of clothes was folded on a chair near the bed and I hastily scrambled into them while the girl turned her back. The fit wasn't quite right but it was comfortable enough. I also managed to locate a hairbrush and the band I'd been using to keep it in a ponytail previously so I was able to quickly braid it. Feeling more presentable turned my attention back to searching for footwear.  I found my new boots standing by the same chair the clothes had been placed and slipping them on without bothering to look for socks. I couldn't see any readily available and, though I'd probably regret it, I didn't think Cassandra would appreciate any more delays. 

Lacing up the boots quickly I stood and made my way to the door where the elven woman still stood, clearly nervous. As I fingered the cuff of the jacket I’d been given I wondered why my old clothes had gone. That also led to the realisation that, while I was out, somehow had stripped me and redressed me. Deliberately putting that thought aside I tried to focus on the here and now and not the “nope, nope, nope, nope, nope” that had become my brain’s default monologue at that realisation.  

“Lead the way,” I said, smiling slightly, hoping to make her feel a little less intimidated. She seemed the jittery sort and, given how often elves were mistreated in Thedas by humans, I couldn’t say I was surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised.  

“As you wish, My Lady.” She opened the door and I followed her obediently.  

Even though I knew to expect it, the sudden realisation that there was a crowd gathered in front of my little cabin was almost enough for me to rush back inside, shut the door and refuse to come out. Sticking close to my guide, we made our way through the crowd which parted easily for us. All around me I could hear the whispers in tones ranging from curious to reverent. I could hear the words Herald and Andraste being bantered about by many and it made me want to giggle hysterically. If only they knew just how wrong they were.  

I tried to pay attention to the route from my cabin to the Chantry but there were so many people and buildings that it was difficult. It didn’t help that the roads (or what passed for roads, really just large gaps between buildings) weren’t straight. They curved around buildings, forming uneven walkways. The smell of bread from a bakery caught my attention and my stomach growled.  

When was the last time I ate? Had I eaten anything while in Thedas? I didn’t think so. How would my stomach handle the food when I eventually did try it. Good thing I wasn’t quite as picky as I used to be. I’d just have to make sure to tell people not to tell me what was in something. Less chance of throwing up that way.  

Sooner than I would have liked we reached a large church-like building which must be the Chantry. The large sun on the door was also a pretty big clue. Throughout the journey, my guide had been quiet and I didn’t quite feel comfortable engaging in conversation while we walked. Still, she’d helped and I was grateful for that.  

“Thank you,” I said and hoped that she picked up on how much I meant it. “Really, I’m terrible at finding my way anywhere until I’ve been there a couple times.”  

“You’re welcome, My Lady,” She still sounded nervous but perhaps a little less so than earlier. “It was an honour to be of assistance.” She bowed and, before I could say anything else, scurried off. I felt bad, I’d forgotten to ask for her name. Hopefully, I’d see her again at some point so I could ask (and apologise for being rude and not asking the first time).  

Taking a deep breath I pushed open the heavy doors and entered the Chantry. A plush red rug greeted me. It was dim inside, contrasting with the bright sunlight I’d just exited. I stood near the door a minute, letting my eyes adjust to the change in lighting before walking forward. Finding the door to the future war room wasn’t as difficult as I’d initially thought. All I had to do was follow the raised voices to a plain looking door off to the side and near the back of the main room.  

I could hear Roderick’s dulcet tones filtering through the thick wood the clearest and I rolled my eyes. Damn blustering bureaucrat. At least I knew Cassandra would stand up for me when I stepped in. At least, as long as I’d managed to stick close enough to the game that I’d won her over. The fact that I was clearly not a fighter wouldn’t (hopefully) be too much of a hindrance in this regard. Cassandra believed strongly in the Maker and, even though I knew that this Herald of Andraste thing was a piece of crap, it was a piece of crap that was going to save me from being executed by a bunch of religious nuts in Val Royeaux.  

“Have you lost your mind?” Roderick’s voice rose and, taking that as my cue, I pushed open the door. Why waste a perfectly good dramatic entrance? “She should be-“ Whatever he was about to say was cut off as I entered the room. I wanted to appear far more confident than I actually was and, considering I could feel everyone in the room looking at me, that was no easy feat. Still, I stood straight, looked forward and didn’t let anyone know how much I was hoping this meeting didn’t go to shit.  

“I demand that you arrest her now! This very instant!” Roderick demanded, gesturing at some men in armour. “I want her in chance ready to be transported to Val Royeaux!” 

“Disregard that,” Cassandra interjected before anyone in the room could move. Her voice was commanding, authoritative and definitely not a tone to be disobeyed. “Leave us.” They left and I let out a breath of relief, letting my shoulders slump slightly.  

“You walk a dangerous line, Seeker,” Roderick growled.  

“We have merely stabilised the Breach, not closed it,” Cassandra pointed out, striding towards Roderick. “I will not ignore it. We cannot ignore it.”  

“Yes,” Roderick growled. “But need I point out that you tried to seal it and failed?” He gestured towards me. “That mark couldn’t close it, what use is there keeping her here?”  

“Have a care, Chancellor,” Cassandra growled. “The Breach is not the only threat we yet face.”  

The conversation proceeded how I expected, Cassandra and Leliana pointing out that Roderick was a suspect since he, too, was a survivor of the explosion that killed the Divine and destroyed the last chance they saw of ending the Mage-Templar war. Roderick became indignant, puffing up like a disgruntled peacock and started throwing accusations at me again only to be rebutted by Cassandra and her belief that I was, indeed, Maker-sent. If only she knew…I had to force myself not to react when she claimed that I was exactly what they needed. 

Right…They needed someone who had no clue how to handle herself in a fight and who was as likely to shoot an ally as an enemy in combat. That wasn't even taking into account the fact that I knew nothing about the current landscape of Thedas beyond what might have happened based on previous choices in games. I had no way of knowing if said game playthroughs were even relevant! So, yes Cassandra, I am exactly what you need if you want this to all go sideways quicker than a political debate. 

“Enough of this,” Leliana interjected. “The Breach is still our main concern. We just focus on that for now. Chancellor, her mark is the only way we know of that might close it. Would you have us do nothing?” 

“That is not for you to decide.” He definitely sounded like he was in a huff, arms crossed and everything. 

“Is that so?” Was that smugness In Cassandra’s tone? Before I could think about that more a heavy slamming sound jolted my attention to the table in the centre of the room where a very large, very heavy looking book had just been slammed down by the Seeker. “You know what this is, Chancellor? A writ from the Divine, granting us the authority to act. As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn.” A distant part of me, while internally squeezing, wondered how large the Divine’s handwriting had to be for that whole book to be a single proclamation.  

Cassandra wasn’t finished. She stormed up to Roderick who was backing up (the first sensible thing he’d done since I’d met him) only to hit a wall and have Cassandra close in. She poked him in the chest, daring him to take his attention away from her. “We will close the Breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order with or without your approval.” 

I had the urge to cheer and pump my fist in the air. This was so utterly epic that my inner fangirl couldn’t help but sit up and take note. I’d pushed her down for the most part last time because, really, being in danger tended to dampen such impulses but right here, right now, safe in the company of Cassandra and Leliana who could likely kick anyone’s ass six ways from Sunday…yeah. I definitely felt safe enough to let a little of my enthusiasm at the sight through. Hopefully, it would just be taken as admiration for Cassandra. 

Sputtering, Roderick pushed against Cassandra who allowed him to step away from the wall. He practically stomped to the exit, leaving with a dramatic slam of the heavy wooden door. My attention was once again caught by Leliana as she and Cassandra returned to standing around the table. Tentatively, I stepped forward to join them.  

“This is the Divine’s directive but what shall we do? We have no soldiers, no leader, no Chantry Support, only a goal. We are not ready.”  

“Whether we are ready or not matters little,” Cassandra pointed out. “It is our duty to find a way to close the Breach. We must act now with you at our side.” Her attention switched completely to me and, even though I’d prepared myself for it, that didn’t mean I still didn’t want to curl up and pretend this wasn’t happening.  

“I’ll help but I really don’t know how much I’ll be able to do,” I said, my voice tentative. “I mean, you saw me fight. I can barely handle wielding a bow. How am I supposed to help your Inquisition? You need me close to portals to close them but if I can’t fight...” I trailed off, obviously not having to elaborate. Things were only going to become more difficult from this point on. If I had to seal rifts I’d be exposed to demons and it was only a matter of time before I either ran out of luck or one of the demons got lucky…or luck would have nothing to do with it and I’d just be skewered because I was absolutely no match for even the weakest demon.  

“We will start training you,” Cassandra insisted. “Perhaps it is simply that you have not practised enough. It might also be that another weapon might suit you better. You did say that you have not had any experience with bladed weapons, yes?”  

“I’m assuming you heard what I said to Varric and Solas,” I replied, my voice slightly incredulous. She couldn’t’ possibly think to give me a sword daggers. “Besides, I think it’s safer if I stay well back from the actual fighting.” 

“I did indeed hear what little you know of swords and daggers,” was that an amused tone in her voice? “But perhaps with a little training-“  

“And what happens when I can’t see what I’m doing in the middle of a fight?” I demanded. “It’s not a good idea.” Standing up to Cassandra was terrifying but I knew I had to do it. I wasn’t suited to stabbing things and I knew it.  

“What do you mean can’t see?” Cassandra demanded, clearly confused. I blinked nonplussed. Had she really not noticed? Then again, she had been in front of me the whole time and probably put my slowness all down to me not being used to the terrain. Looking from her to Leliana, tilting my head between them, I sighed and rubbed my eyes tiredly.  

“I’m visually impaired,” I stated, clearly enunciating every word. “I haven’t been able to see right since I was born. That’s why I thought I should stay back and why I was worried about accidentally hitting someone so I only tried to shoot at demons that were off on their own.” Was being visually impaired or blind something that was uncommon in Thedas? I couldn’t remember anyone from any of the games who was blind except Bull but that was only in one eye and it was due to an injury, not something he’d been born with. Determined to get my point across I gestured emphatically at my eyes.  

“Haven’t you noticed that my eyes don’t actually stay fixed on something for long?” I’d recorded one of my eyes one day out of curiosity, holding up my phone as close as I could, pressing record and trying to look straight at it. When I watched it back my eye just wouldn’t stay still, darting left and right. To me, it felt like I was always looking at what I intended but to others, it looked like my irises were wobbling or so I'd been told 

. “That’s why I wasn’t looking at Varric or Solas yesterday when we were walking: I was concentrating on not slipping and falling flat on my face. It’s harder to walk through snow since you can’t tell if there are rocks in the way unless you have a long stick or a cane or something.” I was surprised I hadn’t been interrupted yet. Even though I was close I’d always been crap at reading facial expressions, I just couldn’t’ see enough detail to make out anything beyond whether someone was smiling or not.  

“I…” Cassandra seemed momentarily speechless. “Why did you not tell me this before?”  

“I thought you’d noticed,” I shot back. “Most of my friends teased me about not being able to keep my eyes still: it was something they noticed right away. I look at the ground instead of up when I don’t have a cane or something so I don't trip. I don’t look at people when they talk to me half the time. I’ve got about enough sight to not walk off a cliff…most of the time! The only reason I was able to shoot at those demons was that they were big enough I thought I’d hit _something_  even if I couldn’t aim right!” My voice had risen of its own accord, not shouting but certainly speaking far louder than was necessary. 

How had neither of them noticed? Cassandra and Leliana were observant. Was I that good at playing sighted? Then again, so far, I hadn’t been asked to read anything. I wanted to groan as I suddenly realised that everything in Thedas would be handwritten. There would be no nice, clear printed letters in large, readable font. I was so, so screwed.  

“I…had not.” Cassandra’s voice was far quieter than I was used to. “Forgive me for asking but…how much are you able to see?”  

I was used to this question. I couldn’t count the number of times it had been asked. Every time the person asking acted like it was this big, invasive thing when, really, it wasn’t a big deal. I took a minute to consider, looking around the room, looking for examples. 

“Well,” I began hesitantly. “I can tell that you’ve got dark hair from this distance but I couldn’t tell you what colour your eyes are. I can see that there’s a book with a dark cover on the table and that it’s pretty thick but I couldn’t’ tell you what was on the cover. Likely the writing inside is too small for me to read. Depending on what an object is I’ll know what it is but I likely won’t be able to see any details unless I hold it up really close to my eyes and, even then, if it’s too small or detailed I likely won’t be able to tell what it is.” I took a deep breath, considering. That last part had been a but ramble-y but I'd never quite gotten the knack at describing my vision easily or quickly. “I know that Leliana’s wearing a hood and I think it’s grey but I couldn’t tell you what her hair colour is even though I’m pretty sure I can see some of it, maybe brown or red? I’m also sort of crap with colours that are similar like if a blue or purple are a similar shade I might think they’re the same or say the blue was purple and purple was blue. I have a lot of trouble with blue, green, grey and brown sometimes. I can't make out people from a distance even if I know them really well and distance can sometimes be a big issue...” I trailed off, not sure what else to say. 

“I’m…not sure how to compare it to normal vision,” I admitted finally. “I was born with my eyes like this so to me it’s completely normal.”  

“This…complicates matters,” Cassandra murmured.  

“Indeed,” Leliana agreed and I internally cringed. I wondered how many plans I’d inadvertently derailed for the spymaster. “Have you ever had a healer look at your eyes?”  

“My Mam was told when I was little that it couldn’t be fixed,” I admitted. How on earth did you describe congenital optic nerve hypoplasia to people from Thedas? “My eyes work fine but something’s just…stopping me from getting all the information if that makes sense.” That was probably the closest I could get to describing what was going on without going into detail about malformed optic nerves and bad connections. I wasn't sure how extensive general anatomical knowledge was in Thedas. Healing potions worked and there were healers like Wynne and Anders but the terms they used for certain things might be different or their understanding might be different or… 

“I see,” Cassandra’s voice was a bit stronger now. I glanced at her but she was, as ever, unreadable. “This is something we must consider carefully.” I nodded, not really having anything else to say on the matter. Except… 

“So, still think giving me pointy objects for close quarters fighting is a good idea?”  

“No,” Cassandra admitted. “That would, I think, not be wise.” A thought seemed to occur to her then. “If you have trouble with your vision, how were you able to hit the demons?”  

“A lot of luck,” I admitted. “Demons are big so it’s easier to aim for them. I don’t know where I’ll hit necessarily though: it might be an arm or the chest. If it's big enough I'm not sure if the inaccuracy is due to my sight or lack of experience. The bigger they are, the easier it is to see them. That’s also why I aimed for ones that were on their own or far enough away from people on our side that I didn’t think I’d end up hitting them by accident.” I’d said that earlier but, now that Cassandra had a better idea of my capabilities, I hoped it would stick.  “When I was little I had a couple archery lessons but that was mainly for fun, never anything serious.”  

“Very well,” Cassandra sighed and I thought that that was probably a sign she was done with this conversation, at least for today. “The fact that you were still able to hit something despite your difficulties is to be commended. We will arrange lessons as soon as a suitable teacher can be found.” I breathed a sigh of relief at that. I wondered how long it would take for people to learn that their “Herald” had such a disability. The reactions should be informative if nothing else. You could tell a lot about a person based on how they treated someone with a disability. Primarily, whether they were alright or dickish enough to warrant a good solid thwack to the ankle with a cane. “For now, however, preparations must be made.”  

“What sort of preparations?” I asked.  

“We must begin training our soldiers, arrange for an ambassador, send Ravens to key individuals to spread the word of the Inquisition,” Leliana listed. “There is much more to be done but, for now, these are our chief concerns.”  

“Alongside your training,” Cassandra interjected.  

“Seems reasonable,” I agreed. “So, what should I do now?”  

“I would advice exploring Haven, getting to know the layout,” Casandra replied. “Or…are you able to find your way back to your cabin?” I was glad she’d asked but I felt a flush spread across my face.  

“Maybe…” I hedged. “Someone guided me here but…I’m not sure if I could find my way back my first time trying.”  

“We will have someone draw you a map if that would help,” Leliana offered and I sighed in relief. As long as it was big enough for me to see, a map would be very helpful.  

“Thank you.” Definitely wasn’t going to bother hiding how relieved I was.  

“Would you like some assistance to find your way back to your cabin or perhaps to the tavern? You have been asleep for three days.”  

My stomach took the opportunity to very loudly remind me that, yes, it had been over three days since I’d last eaten, counting the last time I was conscious, and it was very much displeased with this.  

“I think the tavern’s probably a good idea.” I could only hope that the candlelight hid just how red my face was.  

“Very well, follow me.” Cassandra moved to the door, pausing to make sure I was following before opening it and stepping out. Not sure what to do, I waved a goodbye at Leliana before scampering off after Cassandra. It was much easier keeping up with her long strides when I wasn’t constantly worried I was going to trip over a hidden tree root or half buried rock.  

The tavern which I later learned was named The Singing Maiden was thankfully not too far away from the Chantry. It smelled of food and alcohol and while the former was pleasing the latter made me wrinkle my nose. Water or Alcohol were likely my only choices. Then again, was water safe to drink? Yet another unpleasant thought which I was definitely not going to think about until I absolutely had to. At least we were up in the mountains so the water should be fresh enough that I wouldn't have to worry.  

As we entered a hush and then a swell of noise spilt over as patrons took notice of exactly who was in their midst. Suddenly I was regretting my decision and wishing I’d asked Cassandra if there was any way I could have food sent to my cabin instead  

Before I could back out the door a jovial, familiar voice caught my attention.  

He was holding court at a table near the door, his voice carrying easily. It was hard making out exactly what he was saying amidst the general chatter but, by the tone, he was probably telling a story about Hawke or maybe expounding on one of his other best sellers. Cassandra noticed where I’d tilted my head and sighed audibly.  

“Yes, the dwarf can often be found here,” she answered my unspoken question. “If I leave you in his company, I’m sure he will be able to help you find your way back to your cabin.” I nodded. That sounded like a good idea. Varric was a familiar presence, someone who I’d liked to have conversations with even in game. Now that I’d actually met him, I couldn’t say my opinion had changed. If anything, I wanted to spend more time with him. Who wouldn’t? Varric was even more awesome in real life than in game. Considering how much more badass Cassandra was in real life, I could only imagine what it was going to be like to meet the other companions, how strong their personalities were going to be when not restricted to game dialogue.  

“Dwarf!” The Seeker called. Immediately the crowd around Varric scattered, not wanting to get in the way of a determined Cassandra. Smart people.  

“Seeker!” Varric greeted back, a smile clear in his voice as he turned his attention towards us. “Well, look who’s out and about. We were beginning to think you’d never wake up. Good to see you’re feeling better.”  

“I am leaving her with you, Dwarf,” Cassandra instructed. “Make sure she is able to find her way back to her cabin after eating.” Varric gave a salute to the seeker and I grinned behind her back at the cocky gesture. Varric really had no fear. He seemed to delight in finding little ways to get under Cassandra’s skin. Speaking of Cassandra, she gave an irritated huff before turning around and almost storming out of the tavern, not even saying goodbye. I frowned at that but my attention was quickly captured by Varric who patted the seat beside himself enthusiastically, clearly beckoning for me to sit beside him. Grinning, I complied and dropped down gracelessly into said seat.  

“So,” Varric said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “Why the Seeker escort? And why did she mention me helping you find your way back to your hut?”  Not seeing a reason to keep it quiet, I explained about my vision. 

“I’m not good with new places,” I admitted, finally getting around to answering Varric’s original question. “I had someone help me find the Chantry, Cassandra helped me get here and…”  

“Say no more,” Varric interjected. “I’ll help you find your way back to your cabin.”  

I gave him a grateful smile, relieved despite the fact that I’d been pretty sure he’d help. Still, the fact that he didn’t seem too surprised threw me for a bit of a loop.  

“So, you’re not surprised? I mean, I had to explain it all to Cassandra earlier and she hadn’t had a clue and neither did Leliana so…”  

“Ah, but you forget I was walking beside you for most of the trip to the temple," Varric pointed out. “I noticed you weren’t really looking at me or Chuckles like you’re used to not having to look at people while talking or you’re too busy concentrating on something else. There were a few other things but I’ve seen dwarves who have trouble adjusting to the light when they reach the surface. They stare at the sun too long and…”  

I winced at the thought. Definitely something I could see happening. If you weren’t used to seeing a big, glowing ball of light whenever you looked up and you weren’t warned by someone I could see how it would be tempting to stare. As long as you didn't stare too long any damage caused could be healed by your body. It wasn't pleasant but it could be done. Magic might even speed the process up a bit if they had access to a healer. If, however, they stared too long it was entirely possible that they would irreparably damage their vision. 

“Exactly,” Varric agreed. “Still, you did well all things considered.”  

“Considering I barely had any idea what I was doing, you mean,” I snarked, grinning at him. 

“Now, did I say that?”  

“It was implied.”  

“Well then, how would you feel about me implying that you need more practice.”  

I perked up immediately. The thought of getting archery lessons from Varric was extremely tempting.  

“But don’t you use a crossbow?” I questioned. “Aren’t the mechanics different?”  

“Sure,” Varric agreed. “But I didn’t always have Bianca, as amazing as that sounds. I haven’t used an actual bow in years but I’m sure I could still show you a few things.” He paused then, seeming to realise what he’d said. I groaned.  

“Don’t worry about it,” I grumbled, used to the reaction. “I can still see a bit so I know what you mean,” I smirked slightly. “Plus, if you couldn’t beat someone who’s literally half blind, I might start to question your credentials as an archer.”  

Varric let out a surprised laugh at that, raising a hand and flagging down a barmaid once he got himself back under control. I wasn’t exactly sure what to eat (or what was safe) so I just decided to have some bread and cheese. Varric seemed displeased that I didn’t have more and I mentally rolled my eyes. It turned out that Varric could be a bit of a mother hen. Good to know.  

Thankfully the water seemed safe enough and, before I knew it, I’d already downed two glasses and made a good dent in the rather large platter of bread and cheese I’d been given. Apparently one of the perks of stopping the giant green hole in the sky from getting worse involved not having to pay for food while in Haven. This was very fortunate as I currently had no money and it was only after I started eating that I realised that particular detail might be an issue. Thankfully, seeing my probably sudden expression of panic, Varric enlightened me and I was able to relax.  

“So,” Varric began. “You never did say where you came from.”  

“Didn’t I?” I was still eating, I could afford to keep my answers short and make it look like I was just distracted. Surely that would help… 

“Nice try but I know a stalling tactic when I hear one.”  

Damn perceptive dwarf. I hadn’t even decided how much I was going to share with the advisors, let alone other companions. Then again if anyone was going to weasel it out of me it would probably be Varric, Bull, Leliana or, potentially, Dorian. I was forgetting someone, I just knew it, but I couldn't remember who. Cassandra was also on that list alongside Leliana and Josephine. Why did the inner circle of the Inquisition have to be so capable?  

“I’m just curious, come on,” Varric prompted. “It can’t be that bad.”  

“It’s not bad,” I said, swallowing another bite of bread. “Just…there’s not that much to say.”  

“Why not let me be the judge of that.”  

“Maybe because, even if I can’t read your books, I’m pretty sure anything I say will end up in a novel of some kind?” When in doubt, divert the conversation. 

“You wound me!” He clutched at his chest. "Was that really called for, Rookie?" 

“Am I wrong?” I challenged, giving him a look over my glass of water. He paused a moment before making a “hmm” noise and taking a sip of his own (probably alcoholic) drink.  

“Maybe later,” I said finally. I’d likely end up talking to him a lot so I’d have to get my story straight somehow and Varric, being a storyteller, would make sure the information spread so I wouldn’t have to repeat it a lot and potentially confuse myself.  

“Fine, I can take a hint. So, another question then. How’re you holding up? You go from being the most wanted woman in Thedas to Herald of Andraste in one day. Quite the tale. How about next time you try and spread that out a bit, give the audience less whiplash that way.”  

“I didn’t exactly plan on that happening you know,” I grumbled. “I was unconscious for most of it.”  

“True,” Varric agreed. “But it’s happened now. Not much you can do about it.”  

“If people start bowing as I pass, I’m going to hit something.”  

Varric laughed. “Keep that attitude,” he chortled. “It’ll make things more interesting down the line.”  

“So you’re staying then?” I asked. 

“What can I say? This has the makings of an impressive story and…well…a lot of people died in those mountains. That giant hole in the sky…I’d have to be crazy not to want to help. I could’ve been one of them you know, taken a hit a healing potion couldn’t fix or got caught in the explosion if Cassandra had decided we needed to talk to the Divine earlier…no, no I can’t walk away.” He’d lost the cheerful tone and I ducked my head, feeling guilty that I’d soured his mood. Still, it was good to know that he’d be staying. At least I had someone I considered a friend sticking around. I wondered if he'd still stick around when the truth inevitably came out.   

“Hey now,” Varric’s voice had changed, was once again the warm, friendly tone I’d come to associate with him. “Don’t you go feeling bad for me now. I got myself into this mess…sort of. Well, mainly the Seeker got me into it but hey, I’m here now and besides, I think you could use all the help you could get.”  

“You can say that again,” I groaned, tilting my head back and leaning against the back of my chair. “I don’t even know where to start with all of this. Plus now Cassandra and Leliana are going on about restarting the Inquisition and wanting me to help close rifts and finding a way to close the Breach and.-“  

“Wow there, just slow down a minute and take it one step at a time,” Varric encouraged, clearly seeing that I was working myself up. Thankfully it wasn’t to panic attack levels yet but, really, the thought of being at the centre of this clusterfuck would be enough to make any sane (or semi-sane) individual have second, third and fourth thoughts. “So, the Inquisition huh? Sounds interesting.”  

“Or terrifying.”  

“That too,” he agreed easily. “Which makes it perfect for my next book.”  

“Why do I have a feeling I’ll be hearing that a lot?”  

“Does that mark give you visions of the future now?”  

Now there was a thought. Solas could call bullshit but then he’d have to out himself about knowing more about the mark than he was letting on. Then again that could make him more suspicious of me. That was something which required further thought.  

“Maybe I’m just naturally gifted at reading people,” I quipped back.  

“Well, you’d have to be naturally gifted at something. Clearly it wasn’t with a bow.”  

“Ouch, that hurt Varric, really.”  

“Just being honest…unless you’d like to prove me wrong.”  

“Name the time and place…as long as someone can help me find it.”  

We settled into easy banter like that for a while, trading quips back and forth. I felt around Varric, not enough that I slipped and said something I shouldn’t but definitely enough that, by the end, I was feeling more like I did around my friends than around friendly strangers. It was, I thought, a good start. 

I’d managed to finish off the bread and cheese along with another three glasses of water. Seeing that I was done, Varric offered to walk me back to my cabin like Cassandra had ordered. I agreed, finding that I’d had enough of the tavern and the constant background noise of other people. I wanted some time alone to explore my new living space and get acquainted with everything. It might take me a while to get used to moving around Haven but I’d at least like to become comfortable with my own living space as soon as possible.  

As we walked I could feel people looking at me even if I didn’t see them. Varric kept up a steady stream of conversation, partially distracting me from noticing just how many people were passing by me at any given time. I was glad I couldn’t see the full extent of the gawking. It had been very useful during any choir performances as I couldn't actually see the audience staring at us. All too soon (or not soon enough depending on how I looked at it) we reached my cabin.  

“I’ll see you tomorrow for practice,” Varric said, stopping just outside the door and leaning against the sturdy frame. “How about I come get you after breakfast and then we go out and find something to shoot at.” 

“As long as it’s far away from any potential accidental targets, that sounds good to me.”  

“Come on now, I’m sure you’ll not be that bad.”  

“That’s what you think.”  

“We’ll see what happens tomorrow.” With a jaunty wave Varric pushed himself away from the cabin wall and strode away wandering, I thought, in the vague direction of the Maiden once again.  

Smiling, I pushed open the door to my cabin, closing it firmly after stepping inside. I took the time to properly inspect my new room. Granted there was no electricity or modern conveniences but the hearth with a crackling fire was definitely something I knew I could grow to love. It was directly opposite the door so the first thing I noticed when I entered. The sounds of the snapping and hissing of wood provided soothing background noise. I just knew I’d end up sitting on the rug with a blanket wrapped around me on cold nights.  

I walked further into the room and looked around, poking and prodding at various items. On either side of the front door were two bookshelves, empty for the moment besides a thick book which had, clear on the front “Tale of the Champion”. I wondered if it was Varric or someone else who put it there. Then again Varric had figured out I couldn’t see so it probably wasn’t him. Maybe Cassandra or one of the servants that had likely scurried in and out? Now that was a weird thought; servants. I warranted being attended to by servants. Nope, not going to think about that.  

I continued to explore, familiarising myself with the general layout of the single room. After satisfying my curiosity with the writing desk I finally remembered that the elven woman from earlier had brought something into the room and the box was still there, sitting on the carpet where it had been dropped. I opened the box, curious, and pulled out a vial of potion. I held it up to the light, trying to figure out what it was. Judging by the colour and shape of the bottle I was pretty sure it was a healing potion. Walking over to an armour stand in the corner I found the belt I’d used three days ago with all the little pouches. By the time we’d gotten to the temple of Sacred Ashes I’d used up quite a few of the healing and stamina potions, no surprise there, and, by the end, I was pretty sure I’d only had one or two bottles left in total. Someone had clearly restocked my pouches while I was out as there were now five of each nestled comfortably in each pouch. After satisfying myself that the newly discovered potion was, in fact, a healing draught, I placed it with the other six and clasped the pouch shut. 

It was then that I noticed that the trousers were different, definitely shorter and, as I rubbed the fabric between my fingers, slightly thicker. They weren't armoured (they were probably going to work me up to wearing that) but they did feel durable and hard wearing which could only be a good thing. The tunic-like armour thing hadn't been replaced although I thought it had been tidied up and repaired a bit since I'd last worn it. I turned to my right to see a stand where my harness, bow and quiver of arrows were set. Someone also refilled my quiver as there were far more arrows there than I remembered. The bow had been varnished, looking far neater and better cared for than before. I’d have to start doing that myself if I could. I was going to be using it, I should learn to take care of it.   

Looking at these items made me wonder where my old clothes and shoes had gone. A quick search of a couple handy storage chests netted me my jeans, shirt and shoes tucked neatly away and folded on top of the cloak. I grinned at seeing it, glad that it had survived the trip to the temple. It certainly wasn’t the prettiest garment but who needs pretty when you could be warm? There were a few other items underneath and, carefully removing the familiar items, I found a few comfortable feeling shirts and trousers. Another chest contained some more winter appropriate clothing. I was grateful that I couldn’t see anything looking remotely like a dress anywhere near. I had a feeling that, if I’d been cold before, wearing anything resembling a skirt would be unbearable. The question of whether or not they thought I was a noble was still up in the air but, for now, at least I wasn’t expected to dress like one so I decided to take that as a good sign.  

My bladder then, oh so kindly, decided to remind me that I’d had a lot to drink at the tavern and, grimacing, I found the chamberpot tucked unobtrusively away out of casual sight. This, like everything else, was going to take some getting used to. Still, while walking around Haven I hadn’t smelled anything more offensive than body odour or animals so I hoped that was a good sign. Cities though…they was likely going to be another story altogether. Nope. I was not going to think about that.  

Satisfied with my little exploration I decided that, despite the fact that there was still some light outside, I wanted to curl up under the covers of my new bed again. Who would have thought that dealing with Chancellor Roderick, starting the Inquisition, explaining my vision problems, talking to Varric and exploring my new living quarters would be so tiring? Slipping off my boots I stripped quickly and found what I could only assume were a set of night clothes laid out on the bed for me. Feeling extremely grateful, I pulled back the covers and snuggled in underneath, basking in the heat from the fire and the heavy, warm weight of the covers on top of me.  

The merry crackling of burning wood, the flickering fire shadows on the wall and the lingering tiredness were enough to lure me into a restful sleep quicker than I would have thought possible. My last thought as I drifted off was a fuzzy question about whether or not I’d had any other belongings which had somehow travelled with me to Thedas besides my clothes. It was a fleeting thought and gone before I could really process it as sleep pulled me under and I lost consciousness.  


	4. Training doesn't fix everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So this is chapter 4. It's a little tedious but, after this point, things are going to start picking up I promise. This sort of needs to happen though. 
> 
> Apologies if there are any readers who actually know what they're doing when it comes to archery. I haven't practised in years. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> (This is un-betaed so any mistakes are all my own)

 The next morning, I woke as a servant entered, carrying something which my foggy brain eventually identified as firewood. The wall sconces were out and the fire in the grate had reduced itself to embers during the night. I didn’t move for a while, just stared as she moved about the room as if walking into someone’s space while they were asleep was the most normal thing in the world. She didn’t seem to notice that I was awake, quietly stacking the wood and readying the hearth to be lit again. 

As the woman turned towards me a moment later, probably to grab matches or something from a box she’d set beside her, she seemed to notice that I was awake for she stood and gave a bow.  

“Good morning, My Lady,” she greeted and I realised that it was a different woman from yesterday. She was also elven with dark hair but she didn’t seem quite as jittery around me which I was thankful for.  

“Good morning.” I yawned, stretched and sat up, the covers falling to my waist as I took a moment to rub my eyes and get my bearings. Apparently, I'd slept through the rest of the day and night since the light was just barely creeping through the window. I grimaced, feeling unaccountably sticky and unpleasant. I realised, belatedly, that I hadn’t actually had a bath or anything yesterday. I had had to go immediately to the chantry after waking up and then, when I’d returned to my little cabin I’d explored then went straight to bed.   

This was something which would need to be remedied immediately.  

“Um…” I began, hesitant and not sure what to say. Thankfully, she seemed to knew what I wanted.  

“Just give me a minute to finish this, My Lady, and I’ll send someone for a meal and hot water for a bath.”  

“Thank you.” I was inordinately grateful that I hadn’t actually had to ask. 

Soon enough a fire was blazing in the hearth and the wall sconces were once again lit. I realised, belatedly, that they were placed by the two tables in the room, providing better lighting. I wondered how useful they’d be.  

Quicker than I expected, there was a plate of food on the table alongside a jug of water. A large tub was brought in and buckets of hot water soon trailed after it, carried by various servants both human and elven. A cake of soap was left on the rim of the tub and a large towel draped over a chair near the fire so that it could catch the heat. Throughout all this, I just watched, not sure what to do with myself while others were moving in and out of my room. Finally, after reassuring the female servants that, no, I didn’t need help bathing, I was once again alone. 

Steam was rising from the bath so I decided I had time to eat before it got cold. The meal was simple thankfully, bread and cheese with a small bowl of what looked like porridge. I tentatively tried some and immediately regretted it. I could feel my face scrunch up. It wasn’t so much the taste as it was the texture. The taste was bland, unsweetened, but it was far lumpier than I was expecting and generally unpleasant. I forced myself to swallow it before pushing the bowl away and setting about eating the bread and cheese. If there was no other option I’d eat it but, right now, not happening.  

Once finished, I stripped and carefully stepped into the tub, being careful not to slosh the water over the sides as I did so. The warm water felt extremely pleasant and I basked in the feeling for a few minutes before setting to work.  

I wasn’t as dirty as I’d thought I’d be and that brought up questions I’d rather not have the answers to. I concentrated on scrubbing myself clean and then, once I was satisfied with that, tackling my hair. I’d got it cut not too long ago so it was currently only brushing my shoulders, long enough that I could put it up into a ponytail but short enough that it wasn’t an absolute nightmare to brush when it got tangled. As I tackled my hair with the cake of soap I thought fleetingly of the nice mint shampoo and conditioner I’d been using at home. Using my fingers, I combed the soap through my hair before leaning back and dunking my head in the water, feeling my hair float about my head as the water rippled. I did this once more, just to be thorough, before deciding it was enough, stepping out of the tub and grabbing the warmed towel.  

Once I was semi-dry I examined the various items in the storage chests, debating what to wear. I immediately disregarded my old clothes as an option; no need to draw unnecessary attention to myself. Well…even more attention. People were going to be staring at me anyway but I didn’t want to advertise just how outlandish my original clothes had been to those who hadn’t see them before. Eventually, I decided on a pair of dark trousers (which thankfully weren’t too long), a long-sleeved grey shirt and the boots I’d worn on our journey to the Temple. I added a sturdy vest-like thing over the shirt, not feeling entirely comfortable going out with absolutely no armour on. I didn’t trust anyone or anything in this world beyond Varric and possibly Cassandra and Leliana so I figured it was better safe than sorry. I was happy to discover that my bra had also been placed in the chest and decided to use that rather than attempt to wrestle with whatever it was the women here used.  

Pleased with what I’d managed to put together (thankfully without needing help to figure out the unfamiliar clasps and buttons), I figured there wasn’t much to do besides sit around and wait for when Varric would show up for my lesson.  

-o0o- 

Word had probably gotten around via the servants that I was up and about because, not too long after I’d sat down at my little writing desk for lack of something else to do, I heard a knock at the door. I jumped up, practically bouncing over to the door before pulling it open.  

“Well, someone’s in a good mood,” Varic quipped, grinning up at me. "Eager to see me, are we?" 

“What gave it away?” I asked, turning to the stand near the door where my equipment rested. I slipped the harness on with a little trouble, grunting as the bow dug into my side for a moment before I got everything straightened out.  

Varric smirked. “Why else would you run to the door so fast after I knocked.”  

“I could’ve just been close by,” I pointed out, stepping out and shutting the door behind me. “The cabin’s not that big, you know.”  

“True,” Varric drawled. “But that doesn’t explain the footsteps I heard practically running for the door.”  

I barely resisted sticking my tongue out at him, instead just huffing and gesturing for him to lead the way. He gave a jaunty salute before striding forwards confidently, leaving me to trail behind like a lost duckling. I hurried to catch up, walking by Varric’s side as we made our way through Haven.  

“So, where will we practice?” I asked.  

“I was considering the training area Curly set up,” Varric began. “But we don’t want any stray arrows accidentally hitting someone so I figured we’d find somewhere a little more open and less crowded. That was what you wanted, right?”  

“Fair enough.” I also secretly thought that letting others see how shite I was wouldn’t be good for morale. It was one thing to hear that their Herald (and that was still cringy to say, even in my own head) was visually impaired but to see proof of it so openly…better save that for when the Inquisition had a bit of a firmer foothold. I couldn’t wait until Josephine arrived, she’d be able to figure out the best ways we could move forward with this sort of thing. I didn’t give a rats ass about how people saw my disability but, unfortunately for me, I knew that as someone who was connected to the Inquisition, what I did would reflect on them. If I was seen to be inept this early on then it wouldn’t look good to those we needed to impress or coerce into aiding us.  

I paused then, realising that I hadn’t heard Varric use that particular nickname before. I knew who it belonged to but I didn’t want to make it look like I did so…”Curly?”  

“Commander Cullen,” Varric elaborated. “Former Templar, blonde hair, tall, has the really shiny armour and wears a pelt over his shoulders… I’m sure you remember him. He’s the one you mouthed off at when we reached the forward camp.”  

“Right…”  

“Don’t worry,” encouraged Varric. “He's not that bad...usually. He's a former templar from Kirkwall, used to be the Knight-Captain there before the Seeker recruited him. Now he's stuck in the middle of this mess just like the rest of us." I didn't have anything to say to that so just kept silent.  

We walked a while until we reached an area near where I guessed the boundary for Haven was located. Against the side of a building sat a practice dummy which I presumed would be my target for the day. I reached up and felt it. I pressed my palm flat against the chest area, feeling how much give there was and presumed that the inside was filled with straw or something similar. I couldn’t tell how thick the outer skin covering was but I guessed it was probably tough enough that a glancing blow from an arrow wouldn’t do much good. I’d have to actually hit it square on for the arrow to stick. 

“Satisfied?” asked Varric.  

“Since I have no clue what I’m doing, I’m just going to say yes and hope that’s the right answer.”  

“Let’s get started then. Now, the first thing you wanna do is…”  

Turns out I’d been gripping the thing wrong, both the bow and bowstring. After adjusting my grip to something more suitable, Varric showed me how to more swiftly reload after firing, having me practice the motions over and over until my arms hurt. Next came my stance. Instead of standing with my head facing straight I tended to turn my head to the right, fixating more on the bow than the target. It was a habit Varric couldn’t seem to break me of, it just felt wrong not to do so. I pointed out that I tended to do that though, turn my head to look at something a certain way. My vision wasn’t exactly the same in both eyes after all and sometimes a different angle made things easier to see for me. Not nearly as good as a normally sighted person but if it worked, it worked. 

Next came actually drawing the string back with the arrow nocked. In retrospect, I must have been running on more adrenaline than I thought because it seemed far harder than it had initially when in the field with Cassandra, Varric and Solas. Still, I practised drawing the string as far back as I could before bringing it back and trying again. Varric wanted me used to the feeling of the tension building, getting me used to the string itself, before letting me fire. Eventually, after however long it was of this, he declared me ready to take my first shot at the dummy.  

I wasn’t allowed to stand too close of course but, in the end, we decided that a good starting distance was about five meters. I wasn’t sure what the normal distance was between archer and target on typical archery ranges but I didn’t care. This would let me get a better feel for what I was doing so I could hopefully start backing up until we found the point where I couldn’t aim anymore.  

My first try, of course, didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped. I pulled the string back but, when I released, my left arm slipped and the arrow, now aimed slightly more towards the ground, fell short. I heard a clatter and, realising what had happened, glared down at the offending piece of equipment.  

“You need to hold steady,” Varric instructed. “Try again. You’ll be expecting it this time so it shouldn’t be quite so bad.”  

I grabbed another arrow, nocked it, and aimed. Taking a deep breath I pulled the string back and, holding steady, I fired. I heard a satisfying thud and thought for a moment that I’d managed to it the dummy but, when I walked closer, I realised I’d hit the wooden structure behind it, off to the left by a few inches.  

“Well,” Varric remarked. “At least you know you can hit the broad side of a barn.”  

I snorted involuntarily at that, grinning at Varric even as I grabbed a third arrow, determined to hit the damn thing this time. 

I lost count of how many times I fired at the damn thing but, eventually, I managed to the dummy ten times. This didn’t happen consecutively and they weren’t even all in the same place, many were near misses but I felt much more confident and comfortable with the bow. If I didn’t think I’d feel too awkward about it, I would have hugged Varric. His comments and encouragement had been a great help and, even if I was still crap, I thought I was a little less so than I’d been this morning.  

“I think that’ll do it for today,” he said as I pulled the tenth arrow from the dummy’s shoulder. “You didn’t do too bad and I bet your arms are feeling quite tired now.”  

They definitely were. My arms felt like jelly so I agreed to call it quits for the day without complaint and we headed to the tavern once again to get some lunch. Pulling the string back and holding steady were far harder tasks than I remembered and, as a kid, I’d had a lot of trouble pulling the string back. Now that I was an adult I’d been able to do it for longer but that didn’t necessarily mean I was doing better. This bow, while not massive, was far larger than what I'd been presented with all those years ago, designed to travel further distances and pierce armour.  

The next few days passed relatively quietly and in a similar manner. I’d train with Varric in the mornings, join him for lunch at the tavern and then, when I’d had enough social interaction, I’d retreat back to my cabin. I was starting to get to know my way around Haven, being able to navigate my way to the Chantry and Tavern from my hut definitely being the high point. I’d memorise the rest of the town in time but, for now, those spots alongside my little archery training spot and the practice area were the places I visited most.  

Even if I couldn’t really train with any of the soldiers the Inquisition had been recruiting, I could still watch. The clang of steel on steel could be heard from quite far so, if I managed to turn myself around, I could just follow the sounds of clanking and I’d eventually find myself in familiar surroundings. I hadn’t actually talked to Cullen while I was there though, not entirely sure what to say to the man. Plus he always seemed busy; yelling at new recruits and veterans alike, correcting shoddy sword work and bullying the men and women into some form of order.  

Somehow I’d also managed to avoid having any meaningful interactions with Solas. We’d occasionally pass each other in the street, his bald head and pointed ears making him far more distinctive than most and so easier to pick out in a crowd, but we hadn’t actually sat down and had a conversation. I didn’t know where to begin with that particular nest of vipers. I knew he’d betray us, I knew he was the elven god Fen’Harel and that he intended to tear down the Veil but I had no clue how to go about stopping him. The biggest problem was that, since I hadn’t played the game yet, I only knew the barest of details which amounted to little more than “he chops off the Inquisitor’s arm at the end to get the mark back” which was something I was determined not to think about at the moment. Dealing with Solas could wait a little longer, could wait until I’d gotten my bearings a bit more in this world and managed to cobble together some kind of plan (if such a thing were even possible).  

How did one plan to take down the Thedasian equivalent of Loki?  

I’d also heard from Cassandra that the map I’d suggested during the meeting with her and Leliana was almost finished. Larger versions of Ferelden and Thedas as a whole were also being created. They’d gotten my input on the size of text and how big the buildings and roads had to be on the map to actually be of use.  

Funnily enough, it had been the maps in Dragon Age 2 which had helped me first start to understand how to read them. They were simple, black and white and (once I got used to finding where my little character dot was) easy to navigate. I’d never actually worked with a printed map where my progress wasn’t measured electronically but I felt confident that Haven was a good place to test myself without the risk of getting myself lost somewhere far more hazardous to my health.  

Since the official forming of the Inquisition in the Chantry that first day with Cassandra and Leliana, people had been swarming into Haven. Every day it seemed like the streets became more and more difficult to walk through as the crowds grew and people stopping to gawk at me in the street tripled in number. How was the news spreading so quickly? I knew that Leliana had sent ravens and people liked to gossip but this was truly ridiculous.  

At least someone had started dissuading the newcomers from standing outside my door at all hours. I still wasn’t comfortable with that and I was certainly glad for it. I thought it was probably Varric or Leliana (or possibly both) that was responsible but I wasn't sure. Cassandra also didn’t seem the type to put up with such nonsense so I could see her quite firmly shooing people away if she felt the need.  

As far as I could tell, the news of my disability hadn’t gotten too far spread yet. I was betting Leliana had something to do with it. I hadn’t heard any whisperings of it when I wandered Haven, at least, and I took that to mean that not many people knew. I’m sure that, if they did, my presence wouldn’t make them stop gossiping about it. They certainly hadn’t stopped gossiping in earshot about me being a religious figure after all. I was getting more used to being called “Herald” but it still made me cringe. I wasn’t Andrastian in any way, shape or form and would much rather castigate the religious leaders of said religion than listen to them or be worshipped by them or those that truly believed. 

Not that I was likely to be worshipped by any of the Grand Clerics if what I remembered of Val Royeaux came to pass.  

This morning was different. Upon waking and going through my normal routine I was informed that Cassandra had asked for my presence in the Chantry. Was this it? Was this officially the start of everything? The thought was thrilling and terrifying all at once and I couldn’t tell which emotion was strongest as I donned a (hopefully) formal enough outfit for the occasion. If this was what I thought it was then I wanted to at least try and make a good first impression on Josephine. I didn’t think pissing off the woman in charge of managing the Inquisition’s reputation would be a smart move.  

As I approached the Chantry it sunk in that I was going to be in a small room with Cassandra, Leliana, Cullen and Josephine; three individuals I knew for sure could kill me in under ten seconds and one whom I wouldn’t count out just because I didn’t think she was a fighter. Josephine may be our ambassador but she was from Antiva and, if Origins had taught me anything, it was never to underestimate an Antivan. It seemed to me that everyone in Thedas was tough as nails and I was not going to underestimate anyone if I could help it.  

Yup, definitely way more terrified now than thrilled.  

Pausing just outside the door I steeled myself, pretending that my pause was just to admire the new symbol which now decorated the door to the Chantry. The Inquisition’s symbol was, up close, a little unsettling. The sword looked like it was piercing the eye (definitely a morbid image) and the sunburst-like extensions didn’t help, my mind twisting them into little spurts of blood caused by said sword pierced eye. I reached up, tracing the design and desperately trying not to think about just how massive this organisation was going to be, how much was riding on me making the right decisions, being able to handle situations which I was in no way, shape or form qualified to handle. I’d been able to put it out of my mind for the last few days focusing on my training with Varric and getting to know Haven, things which I could focus on to the exclusion of almost everything else. In the quiet moments, the reality of what was ahead would threaten to overtake me and there had been more than one panic attack I’d had to try and hide from anyone who might enter my little hut. I had a feeling Leliana would probably know, her being the Spymaster of the Inquisition and all, but that didn’t make me feel any better about it. If anything it made it worse since there was a high probability that I would be confronted about said panic attacks at some point.  

“Ah, there you are.”  

I turned to see Cassandra striding towards the Chantry doors. I hadn’t seen much of her recently besides the times she came to ask me about how my training was going with Varric and about the map. I still wasn’t completely used to how intimidating she was but I no longer had the urge to cower in the nearest dark corner so I was going to call that progress.  

“Here I am.” I forced a smile, opening the Chantry doors and gesturing that Cassandra should go first. She entered and I followed, assuming that we were going to head to the same room as last time. At least Chancellor Roderick wouldn’t be there this time so that was something. I’d heard his voice around Haven quite frequently, spouting vitriol at anyone who cared to listen and several who did not. His protestations, for the moment, seemed to be falling on deaf ears as the general mood, from what I could tell, was overall positive towards the Inquisition. It probably had something to do with the fact that these people had actually seen what had been managed with the mark, how we’d managed to close some rifts and affected the Breach. Roderick was trying to convince scared, desperate people that the one thing that seemed to be helping wasn’t, in fact, what they should be looking to. Good luck with that. People liked their symbols and, unfortunately, the symbol they’d decided to focus on was me.  

“You seem troubled.” I turned towards Cassandra, sure enough in my footing to feel confident enough to take my eyes away from my feet for a moment. As usual, my ability to read facial expressions left a lot to be desired. “Is it the mark? Has it been troubling you?”  

“Not really,” I mumbled, glancing down at the glowing green menace before clenching my hand into a fist. “It twinges every now and then but I’m not incapable of moving because of the pain if that’s what you mean.” 

I didn’t know what else to say so I lapsed into silence. Cassandra, seeming to understand I wasn’t exactly feeling up to having a conversation right then, thankfully didn’t try to say anything else before we reached the meeting room. I supposed that this was now our unofficial official headquarters within the Chantry.  

As we entered I studied the other three people in the room. Leliana was easy to pick out thanks to her ever-present hood. The same went for Cullen and his furry pelt thing. That meant that the last person at the end of the table had to be Josephine. Currently, all I could make out was that she was wearing a lot of gold-yellow coloured fabric and that she was holding something which, I assumed, was her clipboard.  

Cassandra shut the door behind us and I couldn’t help but think that the thud of the heavy wooden structure making contact with the doorframe was an ominous sound. There were no chairs in the room, same as last time, so I walked up to the table and just stood there, almost directly opposite Leliana. I wasn’t sure how to start a conversation with anyone in this room and I desperately hoped that someone would speak and break the (to me) awkward tension.  

“We will begin with introductions,” Cassandra stated, walking up to stand beside me. I let out a silent sigh of relief before refocusing on what she was saying. “You remember Commander Cullen Rutherford from the forward camp. He is in charge of our armed forces.”  

“Such as they are,” came the immediate response. “We lost many people in the valley.” Was he blaming me for that? I’d done the best I could damn it. Before I could respond in some way, Cassandra was moving on to Leliana.  

“You are, of course, aware of sister Leliana. She is our spymaster”  

“Thank you, Cassandra,” Leliana responded, her tone oozing displeasure. “Not as tactfully put as I would have liked but, nevertheless, accurate.”  

“And finally,” Cassandra continued as if she had not heard Leliana speak. I wondered if this was the sort of conversation they had a lot. “This is the newest member of the advisory council; Lady Josephine Montilyet. She is to be our ambassador.”  

“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Josephine’s voice was pretty, having something of a cross between a Spanish and Italian accent although I couldn’t quite tell. The lighting in this room was, unfortunately, still not the best but I guessed she was smiling so I smiled back, trying to stick to my resolution to make a good first impression.  

“I’m Lily.I mean, sorry. My name is Lilian Muir; it’s nice to meet all of you, officially that is.” I tried for a bit of humour. No one would call me waking up imprisoned an official first meeting between myself and Leliana and the first time I’d encountered Cullen he’d been surly and clearly stressed due to the trouble the ever-expanding Breach was causing him and his soldiers.  

I’d also come to the conclusion that it would make everything a lot simpler if I just gave out my full name right off the bat. I doubted it would get used much anyway. All I’d heard since waking up was “Herald” or “Prisoner” or, in Varric’s case, “Rookie”. Hopefully, I’d get some people to drop the titles at some point. There was only so many times someone could hear the world “Herald” directed at them before it began to grate. That time had passed long before day three of waking up in Haven.  

“An interesting name,” commented Leliana and I immediately felt my hackles rise. Was she going to bring up the Ravenclaw thing right here, right now? I hadn’t been prepared for it just yet though, in hindsight, I probably should have been. Damn me for being an idiot. Ignoring things never did help so why did I keep doing it. “Certainly not native to Ferelden as far as I know, or the Free Marches.”  

“That hardly matters right now,” Cullen interjected. “We’ve got more important things to discuss than where she comes from. What’s important is that she’s here and she’s got the mark which is, so far, the only way we know of to seal the rifts.”  

“True,” Cassandra agreed. “You can ask your questions later, Leliana. Right now we must discuss what we intend to do. The Inquisition is in its infancy and what we do now will determine how we proceed. We have stabilised the Breach but more must be done and soon.”  

“Very well,” Leliana acquiesced and I silently send a very, very appreciative “thank you” Cassandra’s way. She’d just helped me dodge a bullet…or arrow...this time. I couldn’t keep this up forever but, for now, there were more important things for the Inquisition to worry about. 

“I say we approach the Templars for aid,” Cullen began, steering the conversation towards a more important topic. “Our goal is to close the Breach. We almost succeeded last time but, with their aid, the attempt would likely bear more fruit.” 

“That is pure speculation,” Leliana disagreed. “We do not know if the Templar’s abilities will affect the rifts. The most sensible course of action would be to approach the rebel mages. We almost succeeded but there was not enough power behind the mark during the attempt. If we were able to increase the power, perhaps enough so that it matched what was used to create the Breach originally-“  

“We might blow ourselves up!” Cullen snapped. “How does adding more power to something we already know is unstable going to help? For all we know it could only make matters worse.”  

“So could your Templars.”  

“I was a Templar; I know what they can do. I feel confident that, with their abilities, we would stand a far greater chance of success.”  

“This is irrelevant,” Josephine cut in, clearly trying to play peacemaker between the commander and the spymaster. “Neither of these groups will talk to us at this point, we lack the influence necessary for such a featuring.”  

“Why?” I asked, drawing attention to myself. “Why don’t we have enough influence to at least ask for help?” 

“To begin,” Josephine started. 2We have been declared as heretics by the Chantry. This means that gaining any Templar support will be extremely difficult. If we are to approach them, we must first gain some form of Chantry support.” Hadn't the templars pulled away from the Chantry at this point? Maybe it was later. I remembered something about a confrontation on Val Royeaux. For now, I'd bow to the superior wisdom of the advisors.  

“And the mages?” I questioned. “Wouldn’t us being denounced by the Chantry make us look more appealing?”  

“In some ways, yes,” Josephine agreed. “But we are still only a small organisation who, currently, has not made our position on mage rights clear. They cannot be sure that we would have the ability to stand up to a determined Templar assault if such an event was to occur. I also cannot see their leaders willing to risk an alliance if they cannot ensure that we would not simply hand them over to Templars or invoke the Right of Tranquillity.” I shuddered at the thought, not bothering to hide my reaction, and hoped I wasn’t the only one doing so. I remembered seeing that mark on mages in the first and second game and could only imagine how much more unsettling it would be if I actually met a Tranquil face to face. 

“There’s no reason we should expect a full assault like that if we ally with the mages…which I still think we shouldn’t do,” Cullen argued, clearly not willing to let this go.  

“Regardless,” Cassandra cut across the conversation. “That is not the reason this meeting was called. We know we cannot approach either group right now. Our focus should be on gaining that influence.”  

“Indeed,” Josephine agreed, seeming to switch her attention from Cullen and Leliana to something else, probably her clipboard. “On the topic of gaining Chantry support, I believe we may have a way to do so. There is a Revered Mother in the Hinterlands; Mother Giselle, who had reportedly been helping those impacted by the Mage-Templar conflict. She has recently sent a request to us in which she specifically asked for the Herald of Andraste to visit. She appears to want nothing more than to speak to us.”  

“Why though?” I asked. “I mean, if we’re heretics then why bother speaking to us or me specifically.”  

“I would assume she wishes to speak to someone who was there at the conclave, to understand what transpired and gain a better understanding of our goals and intentions. It would also allow her to, potentially, see the mark being used which would lend credence to our claims that we are able to handle rifts, increasing our standing with not only the Chantry but the common people who frequent it.”  

That sounded reasonable but the problem was that I doubted I’d actually been at the conclave. I couldn’t even remember what happened leading up to this mess; my first memory of Thedas being, of course, the moment I woke up tied up facing down two immensely intimidating women who had felt a hair's breadth from killing me if I hadn’t said just the right thing.  

“Is something the matter, Herald?” Josephine asked and I realised that some of what I was thinking must have shown on my face. Damn. Well, better get this out now.  

“I don’t remember anything about the conclave,” I admitted, shifting slightly in discomfort. “I don’t even remember how I got there in the first place. I shouldn’t have been there; I didn’t have anything to do with mages or Templars so…”  

“So why were you there?” Cassandra finished. I hoped she wouldn’t start spouting off about the Maker and plans…although that might be a convenient excuse. Something to think about later, perhaps.   

“The list of peculiarities surrounding you seems to be building,” Leliana pointed out, deceptively mild and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up once again. Damn, she could be scary. I hoped there was some way I could win her over. If she was anything like she’d been in the first game under all this scariness then I’d like to get to know her. I’d liked Leliana and it would be nice if I could stop myself being terrified of my advisors any time I was in the same room as them. Not that they were my advisors right now since I wasn’t Inquisitor yet, just the strange girl with the glowing mark on my hand. Right now they were, I supposed, technically my bosses in this scenario.  

I forced myself to shrug, not commenting on Lelianas' words, not wanting to say anything lest I make my position more precarious. “I don’t know,” I answered Cassandra’s question, clearly sidestepping Leliana’s comment and just hoping that they’d let me get away with it, for now at least. The conversation was far from done but, as of yet, I hadn’t come up with a viable story. Perhaps some time away from Haven would help with that.  

“It matters not,” Josephine sighed. “Right now, convincing Mother Giselle of our intentions and gaining her support is our top priority. You should plan to travel to the Hinterlands as soon as possible.”  

“Um…” That sounded like an awful, horrible, terrifying idea. I’d heard enough rants from friends who had played the game to know that the Hinterlands was crawling with bears, bandits and Mage-Templar skirmishes. That was not a mess I felt remotely capable of facing.  

“Speak up,” Cullen encouraged. “You’ll be the one going, after all.”  

“Are you sure that’s a good idea…I mean…” How could I put this delicately? “The Hinterlands aren’t exactly safe and…” Screw it. “There’s no way I’d get there in one piece as I am now.” There; I’d said it.  

“You are not that bad,” Cassandra encouraged. “You have been training with Varric, yes?”  

“Against targets that don’t move…from a short distance!” I shot back immediately, not willing to cave on this. I wasn’t ready and they had better all know it.  

“You managed fairly well after we released you,” Cassandra insisted. “You need more field experience.”  

“Cassandra, I can’t see what I’m doing!” I gritted out. “I could get you…or anyone who comes with us, killed because of that. What happens when I freeze up the first time I face someone that isn’t a demon. You'll not always be there to protect me." I trailed off, rubbing my head as I felt a headache attempt to start building. “This,” I looked around at them all. “Is a bad, bad idea.”  

“I-“  

“Wait a moment,” Josephine interjected, holding up a hand and, thankfully, Cassandra fell silent. “I have only arrived in Haven recently and have not received all the pertinent details as of yet.“ I saw her head turn and assumed she was looking to the spymaster in the room. “But am I correct in my understanding that you are, in fact, blind?”  

“Partially,” I corrected. “I can see a bit, enough to move about, but well…” I debated how to say this before just deciding that, like before, complete honesty was my best policy. “I told Cassandra and Leliana the details after I woke up from stabilising the Breach. I can see things, just not details. It’s a miracle I survived that first day. I’d never actually fought before. I’d had a few archery lessons when I was younger and, since I didn’t want to get too close to  _demons_ during my first fight,I didn’t think grabbing a sword or daggers would be a good idea so…”   

“And you didn’t think to tell us this?” Cullen demanded. I jumped, startled, thinking he was directing that statement at me but, no, his head looked like it was turned more towards Leliana than me and I breathed a silent sigh of relief.  

“It was not relevant at the time,” Leliana replied. “The Herald was safe in Haven. The more people knew, the greater the chance of the information getting out before we were ready.”  

“And what good does keeping it a secret do?” Cullen demanded. “Maker…” He covered his face with his right hand and I couldn’t resist the urge to glare at him.  

“I’m not completely helpless, you know,” I snapped. “I’m just…”  

“Not as prepared to handle yourself in the field as we initially thought you were,” Josephine interjected and I nodded, not sure I’d known how to finish that sentence.  

“I’m not completely helpless,” I repeated. “But that doesn’t mean I think I’m ready to handle travelling to the Hinterlands. Varric’s been helping me but I just…I know I won’t be able to handle it.” I didn’t like admitting that but, damn it, it was true. I’d learned a while ago that, if I flat out knew I couldn’t handle something, I had to admit that to myself and others. Pretending I could just end in failure and, currently, with the fate of Thedas hanging over our heads, I couldn’t just try and hope that things worked out. “It’s not just fighting either. I have trouble with footing on uneven ground. I can avoid walking myself into danger most of the time but, if the lighting’s bad or I just don’t’ notice how close something is, think it’s further away than it actually is…” I trailed off, not having to detail how that might go, especially if I took a tumble off something that was far higher than I’d expected. Judging by the wince I heard from Cullen’s direction, he’d obviously caught my meaning.  

“We cannot keep this a secret forever,” Josephine stated the obvious. “How it has not escaped the confines of Haven yet, I do not know but, regardless, we must make it known.”  

“And alert possible enemies to a weakness that could be exploited?” Leliana countered. I blinked, surprised. I hadn’t thought of that. In retrospect it made a lot of sense. That was probably why Leliana had been taking so long to have someone draw up the map of Haven for me; it wouldn’t do to have the Inquisitor struggling to read a map that a normal person could read from a few feet away of a town which, by this point, a sighted person would have probably memorised. If our enemies (Corypheus, the Venatori, potential Chantry factions) knew that I was more vulnerable than first thought, that I might not see someone coming until it was too late…I would definitely be a far more tempting target.  

The thought made me shiver. It was one thing to consider, abstractly, that I was now a target of such people but a completely different one when I was actually confronted with the real, tangible possibility that I was now, officially, a target. I hoped it had gone unnoticed but, knowing my luck, it hadn’t. 

“We don’t need to give details,” Josephine persisted. “Leliana, you know that things like this always come out whether we wish them to or not. Better that we manage the fallout, yes?”  

“And how do you propose we do that?” Cullen asked.  

“We start by not actively trying to keep it a secret,” Josephine answered. “Unless any of you know of a healer who might be contacted? Is this a condition perhaps caused by the mark?”  

“My eyes have always been like this,” I answered, heading off that train of thought quickly. “My vision’s always been the same, never worse or better, just as it is.”  

“Right,” Josephine nodded, noting something down on her clipboard. “I assume you have ways to manage it, to make things easier for yourself?”  

“A couple,” I admitted, wondering how much I could say. It wasn’t as if I could start blurting out about text to speech technology or cameras with zoom functions or things like that. No; better keep things simple.  

“I learned how to use a white cane when I was about thirteen,” I began. I couldn’t see their expressions to know whether the term was familiar or not so I continued. “It was a long stick with a wheel at the bottom. I’d roll it on the ground in front of me before I stepped anywhere.”  

“Ah, I see. This allowed you to find uneven ground and edges, yes?” Josephine clarified. 

“Exactly,” I agreed, smiling. “The person who taught me to use it also suggested that, if people didn’t get out of my way, I should use it to whack them in the ankle.” I heard an amused sound from Cassandra and grinned in her general direction.  

“What else?” asked Leliana. 

“Well…I had a lens I used for reading,” I began, trying to figure out the best way to word it. Did they have magnifiers in Thedas? I was about to find out. “It was glass but shaped so that, when I looked through it, everything seemed bigger. I’d hold it above a page in a book and read like that although I couldn’t do it for long before my eyes got tired or sore and I’d have to stop.” I despised using magnifiers for long periods of time but, if it was the only way, I might have to get used to it…if they could make the lenses that is.  

“I also…” I paused, frowned and looked down. I hadn’t really thought about it but. “I had a dog…I’m not sure where she is now but…she was trained to help me get around.”  

“You had a dog?” Cullen asked, sounding genuinely interested. I looked at him, confused before realising that Cullen, like many other Fereldans, probably had a thing for dogs.  

“Yes but I don’t know where she is now,” I admitted, looking down again. I hoped she was home, hoped she wasn’t lost in Ferelden somewhere. At least if she was home, I knew there’d be people to take care of her. I blinked, biting my lip hard.  

“I apologise,” Cullen said quickly. I looked up, startled, only to realise that, damn it, he’d probably seen how upset I looked. “I didn’t…that is…I…”  

“It’s not your fault,” I answered, shaking my head. “I’m the one that brought her up.”  

“When we found you, there was no dog,” Cassandra said, her voice soft, sounding sympathetic. I turned to look at her. She’d been so quiet that I’d almost forgotten she was even there. “Do you know if she was with you before you entered the Fade?”  

“I don’t even remember being at the Temple,” I pointed out.  

“We’ll have the scouts keep an eye out for her,” Leliana offered, sounding genuinely sympathetic for the first time during this conversation. “Can you give us a description?”  

I highly doubted that they’d find her but, nevertheless, I gave a brief description of her height, build, colouring and a brief overview of what the nares she wore looked like in case she was found wearing it. I’d only ever seen Mabari in the games so I had no idea what other types of dogs there were in Thedas so I avoided breeds, just giving general descriptions and, when pressed, said that I wasn’t sure.  

“So, how did your dog help?” Josephine asked.  

“Well,” I began. “I’d hold on to the harness and she’d guide me around buildings, wouldn’t cross a street if there was a…a carriage coming or a cart coming, things like that. She didn’t help all that much with uneven ground; the cane was better for that, but it was good to have a second working pair of eyes.”  

“Right,” Josephine wrote something, set the clipboard down and folded her arms, glancing around at everyone in the room. “I will talk to Leliana about this. Between the two of us, I’m sure we can find a way to handle this situation. In the meantime we’ll have a cane crafted for you.”  

I could tell that she wasn’t going to take “no” for an answer, not that I would have protested anyway. Having a cane would make things so much easier. Haven, being a town, wasn’t too bad to walk around but if I wanted to go anywhere else…Cassandra hadn’t been too happy with my pace that first day and, unless we did something, that was unfortunately as fast as I was going to move in unfamiliar surroundings. Given that the whole of Thedas was unfamiliar, that fact seemed unlikely to change any time soon.  

“It may also be a convenient place to store an extra weapon,” put in Leliana, clearly thoughtful. “You might be training with the bow for now but, like it or not, you are going to be targeted and you will need something you can use in close quarters.”  

“I second that.” I’d been about to refuse but Cassandra’s voice cut me off. I turned, blinking at her in confusion. “I know you do not know how to use bladed weapons,” she began. “But, like it or not, you are not always going to be able to avoid getting close to an enemy. You will be at a severe disadvantage as it stands. Learning how to wield a hidden blade will allow you to gain the element of surprise and, potentially, allow you to buy enough time to get away or call for assistance.”  

It was completely logical and I couldn’t refuse her. She wasn’t talking about me learning to dual-wield daggers in a fight all the time after all; she was just suggesting that I keep something on me for emergencies. I ducked my head, bit my bottom lip before sighing and nodded in agreement. It was a good idea and I’d be an idiot to refuse.  

"I can draw what my old cane looked like, if that would help," I offered, looking around, wondering if there was a piece of paper and pen of some sort that I could use. Josephine offered me a quill but I pulled my hands away. “Not a good idea,” I said quickly. “I can use charcoal but quills…the ink gets everywhere.” That was an understatement. I’d tried once or twice out of curiosity but, every time, my hands had come away stained black or blue and the writing had been utterly illegible.   

“If it will help,” Cullen offered. “There’s a blacksmith who, currently, is taking most of the commissions for the arriving soldiers. I could speak to him, ask him to work on this first since it’s for the Herald’s use.” I grimaced at the thought of using the stupid title to get something quicker but…Damn it. If I didn’t have a dog then I wanted a cane if I was going to step foot outside Haven.  

“Good idea,” said Josephine, directing her praise towards Cullen. I thought that, if he was anything like he was supposed to be in game, he would probably be blushing at that. I noticed a hand come up to rub the back of his neck and tried not to grin. I was pretty sure neck rubbing and blushing went hand in hand for the man.  

“It’s only logical,” Cullen replied and the awkwardness I heard in his tone was absolutely adorable. “I’ll do that once we’re done here, shall I?”  

“Yes,” Leliana agreed. “We will finalise the details of exactly what is necessary and you can take it to the smith. Make sure and ask him how long this will take.”  

Cullen nodded and the discussion continued. A bit of charcoal was brought and I roughly sketched how I thought the cane should look, my old one at least. I had to lean down, almost pressing my nose to the paper as I drew. I probably got charcoal smudges on my face but I didn’t care. I wanted this to be as accurate as possible and I was used to it as, when I was younger, I’d come away from drawing or painting completely covered in paint or pencil lead. It happened when writing too, yet another reason I didn’t want to use the quill. Ink was not fun to scrub off of your face.  

The cane I drew was able to fold into four pieces of about equal length. There was a cord at the top which, when the can was folded, was able to wrap around the pieces and tie them together securely. I was used to one that was elasticated but since I didn’t know if they would be able to replicate that, I didn’t say anything, just described it and hoped that they could take it from there and infer where necessary. In the end, the drawing wasn’t as straight as I’d like but the overall concept was, I thought, clear enough and I was quite sure that the smith, whoever it was, had probably worked with far worse designs. At least this was mostly simple.  

After I completed this my drawing was whisked away by Josephine and Leliana who began to discuss best ways to hide a blade, in which piece it should be and how I should have access to it. Cullen and Cassandra, being warriors and not rogues, only contributed minimally to the discussion. I didn’t bother trying to pay attention to it all, just taking the charcoal and a bit of paper left on the table and started doodling. Occasionally I’d be asked for another detail such as height and width of the cane, something I’d forgotten to include. They also asked about colour and whether or not I had any preferences. Generally, as long as it was a light colour and not pink, orange or yellow I didn’t mind all that much. I wondered if I’d regret letting them have so much free reign but as long as it was usable I couldn’t bring myself to care right now.  

It was probably only about ten minutes later that discussion turned back to Mother Giselle and what else the Inquisition could do to start gathering influence. They had to put a lot of plans on hold for the moment until I was “field-ready” as Cullen put it but, after that, things went more smoothly. The plan was to head to the Hinterlands in a few days barring any unforeseen delays in the creation of my cane.  

“I believe that concludes all the business we have for the moment,” Josephine declared, looking up from the clipboard she had once again picked up. “Unless there are any other issues I am unaware of?”  

I could feel the attention of the room focus on me again and I quickly shook my head. Nope, definitely nothing else that needed to be discussed today as far as I was concerned.  

“Very well then,” Cassandra said. “I suggest we all take a small break then return to our duties. Herald, I suggest you look for Varric in the tavern, eat and then continue training.”  

“If you like,” Leliana put in. “I could also offer my assistance. Varric, while useful, is more used to a crossbow. I, however, have extensive training in the way of the bow.”  

The chance to learn from Leliana? I nodded vigorously, fighting back my grin and the urge to jump up and down at the mere thought. Was she starting to warm up to me? I hoped so. It was, of course, equally possible she was just going to use this as an excuse to study me, perhaps see me around someone I was more comfortable with so I might let my guard down and let something slip. I’d have to be careful but…it was Leliana. The woman was a trained bard and had survived the Blight unscathed. I’d likely learn far more from her than any other archer I knew of in Thedas and the thought made me giddy.   

“Only if you’re not too busy.” I tried to make myself sound a little less eager but I was pretty sure I heard a chuckle from Josephine so I guessed I’d failed spectacularly at that.  

“Nonsense,” Leliana replied, voice light. “I am more than merely my position within the Inquisition. I would be glad to assist you for as long as I am able for the rest of the day. I will meet you at your typical training area in about an hour, yes?”  

“Thank you!” I grinned and practically ran towards the door, eager to get to the tavern to find Varric and give him the good news. My stomach also chose that moment to remind me that I hadn’t had a large breakfast and I’d better make up for that if I planned on doing some serious training. At the last minute, I turned and waved rather sheepishly at the advisors and Cassandra before turning and opening the door, practically bouncing out of the Chantry and towards the tavern. I made an effort to walk normally but I wasn't entirely sure how successful I was.  

“Well aren’t you in a good mood,” was the first thing out of Varric’s mouth as I joined him at his usual table in the tavern. I wondered if he’d claimed this one specifically because it was near the door and, therefore, much easier for me to see when looking for him. “Something good happen this morning.”  

“Sort of,” I grinned, still almost bouncing with energy. “Leliana said she’d be willing to help out this afternoon with training me…if you don’t mind. We didn’t get a chance this morning because of the meeting so…”  

“Relax, Rookie,” Varric grinned. “It’s not like I’ve got much else to do right now, besides work on my latest masterpiece that is.” I got the sense he was winking at me. “So, Nightingale’s gonna help out eh? Should be interesting. Is that the only thing that’s got you so excited?”  

“Mostly,” I admitted, forcing myself to calm down a bit. “They’re also going to try and get me a cane.” I quickly explained the concept and Leliana’s idea of having a hidden blade. Varric seemed pleased with the idea too…maybe it was a rogue thing.   

“So, you’ll be going to the Hinterlands soon then?” he asked after I was finished. That dulled my mood a bit and I nodded, poking at the bowl of soup that had been placed in front of me while we talked. “Want an extra pair of eyes?”  

I looked up, startled before grinning again.  

“Are you a mind reader now?” I asked, only half joking.  

“Nah,” he replied, smiling. “Incredibly handsome and talented, sure, but I haven't developed that particular talent yet and, let’s face it, you need me and Bianca to keep an eye on you. You’re getting better but you’re not that good yet.”  

“I’d be happy to accept Bianca’s help,” I replied, forcing myself to look serious. “You though…”  

“Hey!” Varric laughed, nudging my arm playfully. “Well if that’s how you really feel...” I held up my hands, not wanting him to get any ideas. I didn’t trust that tone.  

“Kidding,” I said quickly. “I’d be happy to have you and Bianca’s help.”  

“Now that’s more like it,” Varric smirked, leaning back and folding his arms across his chest. “So, mind telling me why you’ve got charcoal all over your hands and face?”  

I looked up, startled, before glancing down at my hands. I groaned in annoyance, searching around for something I could use to wipe myself down with. Varric chuckled, pulled out a handkerchief, splashed some water on it and handed it to me.  

“Thanks,” I mumbled, blushing slightly as I scrubbed at my face. How many people had seen me with the tip of my nose stained black? That tended to be the worse place for whatever I was writing or drawing with since my face was often so close to the paper.  

“So, how’d it happen?” questioned Varric, taking back the piece of fabric after I’d finished wiping myself down.  

“I drew a picture of what my old cane looked like,” I answered, returning to my food. “I tend to get a little too close to the paper when drawing.”  

“Never would’ve guessed,” was the immediate, drawling response and I resisted the temptation to throw a bread roll at his head. I’d gotten better at accuracy thanks to his lessons and the idea of showing just how much I’d improved was definitely an appealing one. Instead I just huffed and kept eating, knowing that I’d likely need my strength for whatever Leliana was planning for this afternoon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should be more interesting. We'll be switching perspective. You'll get to see things from another character's point of view (although I'm not saying who; that would ruin the surprise!). Writing from a sighted person's point of view was quite interesting.
> 
> It's completed, just needs some editing. I'm running out of pre-written chapters so, like I said last time, updates will likely slow down soon. I hope you all continue to enjoy the story though! Feedback is more than welcome!
> 
> Any comments/criticisms/questions are welcome!


	5. From a certain point of view

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This is the second last pre-written chapter. After this I only have one more chapter ready for posting (all it needs is some editing). That will be released in about three-four days and, after that, things will slow. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has left kudos and commented1 I really, really appreciate it! To everyone who has bookmarked this fic, a massive THANK YOU!!! And, finally, to everyone who has subscribed, I hope I continue to keep you interested enough to make it worth it! 
> 
> This is the last chapter entirely set in Haven. After this start finally moving forward so yay! I know it's been a bit of a slog to get there but hopefully, it'll all be worth the wait
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the different perspective! Let me know if I've done him justice or how I can improve! All comments/criticisms/questions welcome! 
> 
> This chapter is un-betaed so any mistakes are my own.

“So, why are we still here exactly?” questioned Cullen once the Herald had practically skipped out the door. He had recruits to train and any time taken away from that without a good reason was time wasted. He'd woken up with a headache that morning which refused to ease. He knew it was probably due to the lyrium withdrawal and that, like most things, it was only going to get worse before it got better. If it ever did. He couldn't afford to let a headache get in the way of his duties, not when he knew things were only going to become more difficult from this point on. He, Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine were still around the table, not having moved thanks to a quickly formed hand signal from the spymaster.  

“I thought that would have been obvious, Commander,” commented Leliana, tone mild. “To discuss the Herald, of course.”   

“What about her?”   

“Come now, surely you cannot be this naïve," came the immediate reply. “There is much about her that does not make sense.”   

“Such as?” He hadn’t really interacted with her much. In fact, looking back over the last few weeks, he realised that the only conversation he’d had with her at all had been just before and during that mad charge to the temple. He remembered his first impression clearly, that of a girl in oversized, ill-fitting armour, untrained, untested and clearly used to a more sedate lifestyle judging by the clear bulk that could not be attributed entirely to muscle. He had not been impressed. He had, however, gained some respect for her on a personal level; no one without courage would have been able to do what she had managed, forcing herself to move forward with the rest of them in hopes of stopping the Breach. She had clearly been terrified and yet she had done it yay. Anyone with sense respected that kind of courage.   

She had also been wise enough to know her own limitations. When Sister Leliana had suggested using the mountain path, he had seen the look on the girl’s face. She had known, in that moment, that she would not be capable of such a journey. Still, he had half expected her to go along with that suggestion anyway, picking the safer option rather than the expedient one but, to his great surprise, she had not. It was something many had to have drilled into their heads over and over before it stuck; know your limits.   

The fact that he now knew about her difficulties…well…he supposed that she would have to be more aware of her limitations than most.   

He’d noticed her hanging around the training area a few times but she kept to the fringes, watching but not getting in the way so he hadn’t felt the need to shoo her away or urge her to join in. She was an archer after all and he dealt with the training of warriors. There was also the fact that, honestly, unless it was related to millitary matters, he wasn’t all that good at conversation or being sociable.  

He now wondered how much of what was going on she had actually been able to see. Was she just listening to the clanging of metal on metal or was she able to discern enough to know what was going on? Would it be rude if he were to ask?  She hadn't seemed too bothered about having to describe her vision for himself and Lady Josephine but would she mind going into more detail? 

"The fact that, as of right now, we know nothing of where she came from," said Leliana and Cullen blinked in surprise. He'd just thought it hadn't come up in conversation. None of them had thought to ask her name when she'd first woken up: there had been far more important things to worry about. Now that she mentioned it though...was today really the first day where she'd introduced herself to any of them?  

"Could it be that no one actually asked?” he questioned, voicing his previous thought..   

"The dwarf did," Cassandra put in, seeming a bit grouchy to Cullen's ears at having to mention Varric. "He asked where she came from just before asking about the mark. She did not answer." Alright, that was definitely a little odd. Was she running from something? She claimed not to remember a great deal about what happened at the temple or why she was there...could that be related somehow?   

"There is also," continued Leliana, ignoring his last comment. "The fact that, when she was found, she was wearing extremely strange clothing which prominently displayed an unfamiliar name and sigil. I realise, Commander, that you would not have seen it as you were preoccupied at the time and, when Cassandra and her party reached the forward camp, the Herald had been more properly outfitted for combat and the harsher climate." Leliana reached into a hidden pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She laid it on the table, flattening it to reveal said symbol. Cullen studied it carefully. He guessed that this was a recreation done by either Leliana or one of her agents while the prisoner was asleep or when her gear was being taken care of as she slept. Cullen searched his memory, trying to remember if he'd seen either the name or bird before but, unfortunately, there was nothing.   

"I have had my agents begin enquiries, of course," continued Leliana. "But, as of yet, no information has surfaced. It is not the name of a noble house, a mercenary company, a guild, or any other organised group of which we are aware." Potentially troubling, it was true. "At first, as she was wearing the symbol, I thought it might be her own family name and crest but our discussion this morning seems to indicate otherwise."   

"So, we have a herald who has, so far, refused to tell us where she comes from and who may have ties to a faction we are not aware of," murmured Lady Josephine, studying the crest intently before beginning, once again, to take notes on her clipboard. "A potentially troublesome development."   

"More than troubling," Leliana replied. "There are things which do not make sense."   

"What else could there be?" questioned Cullen. He'd spent the least amount of time in her company, besides Josephine, and so hadn't noticed too much off about the young woman. Leliana though, she had her eyes and ears placed all through Haven so she'd probably had reports coming in since the Herald after the battle.   

"She is clearly accustomed to a high standard of living," reported Leliana. "She tries to maintain a level of cleanliness most often seen in nobles and, judging by the lack of training, she was very sheltered."   

"That's not too unusual," Josephine interjected, saying what Cullen was thinking. "After all, who would expect a noble daughter to be able to wield a weapon, especially one who is unlikely to be able to do so with any degree of proficiency?" It made sense. Nobles were all about appearances, Cullen had found. If they took up arms, they did so to prove to their rivals that they were the strongest and best at what they chose to do. For them, it was less about life and death and more about showing off, an attitude which Cullen disapproved of strongly. If the Herald had only had a few lessons as a child and, due to her limited vision, had had difficulties...  

"The problem is," said Leliana. "That she does not act like a noble or even one raised near nobility." She detailed what her agents had seen, how unaccustomed the Herald seemed to have servants in her personal space, how she lacked the mannerisms typical of those raised in wealthy households. She could, Leliana admitted, be consciously avoiding such behaviour in an effort to either hide her background or, perhaps, seem more approachable, but this was unlikely as there were many unconscious behaviours which could not be hidden so well (body language, for example) and which, to her knowledge, Lilian had not displayed.   

While this discussion was going on, Cassandra had turned to inspect a bit of paper on the other side of the desk. Cullen focused on her as Leliana continued to explain certain noble behaviours and inconsistencies therein to Josephine. He had nothing of value to add to the discussion so decided to focus on what his fellow warrior had found.   

"What's that?" He questioned, leaning across the table to get a better look at whatever it was.   

"After finishing the diagram of the cane, the Herald seemed distracted by something else," Cassandra explained, picking up the piece of paper and studying it more closely. "She neglected to take it with her when she left." Cullen remembered, vaguely, that while he and the others had been discussing the best way to disguise a blade in the Herald's cane, she had been bent over the table, nose practically touching it as she scribbled with the charcoal. Another drawing? He wondered what it could be.  

Seeing his curiosity, Cassandra reached out and handed him the piece of paper. Gingerly Cullen took it, turning it so it was right side up. It was...strange. It was clearly a caricature of a person but the proportions were...off. The eyes were far too large, the nose seemed extremely small and the mouth was, he realised, just a line underneath that. Perhaps it was unfinished?   

[A sketch by the Herald](https://www.dropbox.com/s/26an5skxrfgcspp/File%2005-12-2017%2C%2020%2016%2002.jpeg?dl=0)

"Interesting," commented Leliana from over his shoulder and Cullen only barely resisted the urge to draw his sword, his hand grasping the handle before he'd even registered moving. He took a deep breath, deliberately calming himself before turning and handing the paper to Leliana. She took it, smirking knowingly at him and Cullen barely resisted the urge to glare at her in return as the spymaster turned to share the discovery with Lady Josephine.   

"It is certainly a unique artistic style," Josephine said, studying the paper intently. "Detailed in some areas and yet simplified in others."   

"Have any of you seen a similar style before?" Asked Cassandra. There was a general shaking of heads around the room. "Then we have something else which does not make sense."   

"She could have developed it on her own," Cullen offered, finding it unlikely but still needing to point out that it was a possibility.   

"It is possible, if unlikely," Leliana replied. "I will have copies made and circulated amongst my agents along with the name she has given us. Hopefully, this should aid our search for information. Perhaps I will mention it this afternoon."  

“What if she asks for it back?" Cullen questioned.   

"I will have copies made," was the immediate reply.   

"How are you going to teach her?" Cullen asked. "Varric's obviously got her learning something but..." he trailed off, not sure how to put what he wanted to say in terms which would seem overly condescending, even without the person in question he was referring to in the room. Granted he could see why the Herald had initially chosen the bow that first day now instead of a sword or daggers. If you couldn't see your enemy's movements and you were too close...no, far better that she remained out of the way entirely. Unfortunately, as had been pointed out in this meeting, that wasn't an option. She was needed to close rifts and rifts meant demons. That mark would make her a target whether she fought or not; far better to not leave her completely defenceless. Still...how were they meant to proceed?   

"Do not concern yourself," Leliana said, giving him a small smile that made him a little nervous. "I am quite sure I can find a way to aid the Herald in learning the art of the bow." Considering what he could remember of her from his time in Kinloch all those years ago, Cullen didn't doubt it.   

It had felt like a punch to the stomach when he'd first seen the redhead all those months ago when Cassandra had approached him about joining her in attempting to restore order with the aid of the Divine. Those memories were hazy, filled with so much grief and pain that the presence of is rescuers stood out like a bright beacon on a moonless night. Leliana had been one of the three companions chosen by the Hero of Ferelden to aid in freeing the tower from the blood mages and demons which had been infesting it. He remembered, in vivid detail, Leliana firing shot after shot at her enemies, unyielding yet graceful as she practically danced out of her opponents reach before firing an arrow right between the eyes. Seeing her that first time after leaving Kirkwall had shaken him, stirred up all sorts of memories he would have preferred remain buried. Those memories were becoming more and more frequent visitors during the days when the urge to take lyrium was almost too much, promising sweet relief from the pain, both physical and remembered if he would only give in...  

"Is there anything else we need to discuss before we adjourn for the day?" Lady Josephine's voice broke him out of his tumbling thoughts and Cullen sent a silent prayer of thanks to the Maker for that. He couldn't afford to lose his concentration, not when he was surrounded by people who were far too observant.   

"There is one more thing," Leliana began, her voice slightly hesitant as she looked from one end of the table to the other, her eyes taking them all in before she continued. "The Herald has not asked about this so I can only assume she did not believe she had it when she stepped through the rift but..."   

"What?" Cullen demanded, tired of Leliana's tendency towards dramatics. Was she implying that, when the Herald had been unconscious, she had taken something from her and not returned it after the debacle with the Breach and the temple? Why hadn't she returned it? Was it really that important if the Herald had not asked for it?   

Leliana reached into another hidden pocket (where on earth did she keep things in an outfit that seemed so tight?) and pulled out something small and vaguely rectangular. She set it down carefully on the table to let the others in the room have a good look at it. It was primarily white with a large black rectangle in the middle of it. There was a small circular indentation towards the bottom, just under the black rectangle. He could see little protrusions along one of the sides and uneven grooves at the bottom. Gingerly he reached out and picked it up. It was light and, as he held it in an ungloved hand, he thought that it was possibly made out of metal and glass. He turned it this way and that, trying to figure out what its purpose was but nothing came to mind. He felt the little indent and, upon pressing it, discovered that it depressed slightly. Worried he'd accidentally set something off he held the thing a little further away from himself but, when nothing happened, he brought it closer to inspect once again. Once satisfied he passed the strange thing to Josephine who conducted her own inspection.   

"What is it?" Asked Cassandra.   

"I do not know," Leliana replied. "I have been unable to find anyone who has any idea as to what it might be. I am waiting to receive correspondence from an arcanist I am acquainted with but, as of right now, no one seems to know what it is or what it is meant to do. This is not the only object of interest." Leliana took a few more things from hidden pockets.   

The first item was a strange kind of string that split into two half way down and ended at two strangely shaped circular things. The opposite end had a small metal piece. The final item Leliana placed on the table at first seemed innocuous, just a pile of coins.   

It took Cullen a moment to realise that the coins on display were completely unfamiliar. There were unfamiliar images printed on both sides. There appeared to be some copper, silver and what he at first thought was gold but, when inspected more closely, away, in fact, a gold edged coin with a silver centre. Most of the coins were not round but, instead, several small, straight edges. The only round coins were the copper coins and one small silver piece.  

“There is no country in Thedas I am aware of which uses these coins,” Leliana stated, her face and voice implacable.   

"Yet another mystery surrounding our illustrious herald," commented Josephine. "They do seem to be piling up, yes?"   

"Indeed," murmured Cassandra, fiddling with the rectangular thing before handing it back to Leliana who tucked it away once again alongside the string and coins. "Have you considered that, perhaps, if she knew you possessed these items, the Herald might explain what they are?"   

"Possibly." Leliana did not sound optimistic. "But if she will not tell us where she is from, how can we know if she will tell us what this is and be truthful?"   

She had a point. Still, the thought of keeping something from Lilian when she had, so far, been cooperative did not sit well with Cullen. Were they not betraying her trust by not giving this thing to her, whatever it was? What if it was important to her? If he spoke out, would they listen? Leliana and Josephine were here to deal with this sort of thing; Cullen was here because he knew how to hit things until they stayed down. But...  

"You won't be able to keep this from her forever, you know," he said, surprising himself. "Eventually it will be found out. You know better than most that secrets don’t stay secrets forever. How will she react though, knowing that you've had something of hers all this time and said nothing?"   

"We will deal with that only if the need arises," replied Leliana.   

"Fine," said Cullen. "But I'd like it known that I don't think this is a good idea."   

"Nor do I," Cassandra admitted. "Even if I do understand the need for it...to a point. What shall you do if your arcanist cannot discover what it is? Will you then ask the Herald?"   

"Perhaps," Leliana replied. "We shall see."   

"Right..." He couldn't keep the doubt from his tone. "Is there anything else you'd like to add?" His headache was getting worse and he was getting snappy. This wasn't good. The conversation needed to end as soon as possible. He needed to be out in the fresh air, needed to have a target so he could hopefully take out his frustration on something which wouldn't move. A thought struck him then and he glared at her. “You don't happen to have her dog locked up somewhere, do you?” He didn’t like to think it but, if she was willing to confiscate belongings of the Herald…  

“Of course not!” Leliana replied, sounding honestly offended at the suggestion. “You were there when we found her, do you recall a dog being anywhere nearby?” Cullen studied her a moment longer before nodding his head in silent apology. It had been a drastic leap in logic and not something he should have voiced without proof.   

"For now, I believe that we have nothing more to discuss," Leliana said. "Unless there are issues Cassandra or Lady Josephine would like to discuss, I do believe that our meeting can conclude."  

Thankfully neither Cassandra or Josephine had had anything more to add to the discussion and Cullen was allowed to exit the chantry. He stepped out into cold, crisp air and took in a deep breath, deliberately forcing his stiff shoulders to relax before he went back to his soldiers. It would not do for them to see their commander overly emotional about something after a meeting with the other advisors and the Herald. He needed to be firm, to be a good example and leader.   

"Are you alright?" He'd heard her coming so he didn't immediately go for his sword like he had with Leliana. He turned and forced a rueful smile for Cassandra's benefit. She had been a surprisingly good friend the last few months, supportive of his decisions and yet stern enough to tell him when she thought he was being foolish or making a mistake. If she was asking after his health now...well he must not look as calm as he thought he did.   

"I am... unsure how to proceed," he finally said. "What do you make of all this?"   

"Truthfully, I feel the same," Cassandra admitted. "There is much that does not make sense but..."   

"But..." Cullen prompted.   

"I cannot believe that the Maker does not have some sort of plan, that he did not intend events to unfold in this way. If she is, indeed, the Herald chosen by Andraste herself then...how can we justify keeping something like this from her? Are we doing the right thing?"   

"I don't know," Cullen admitted, head tilted down as he thought over Cassandra's words.   

"It is difficult," Cassandra said. "To know what the right course of action may be."   

"To put it mildly."   

The two stood in companionable silence for a moment, watching the hustle and bustle of Haven pass them by. His mind conjured up half-formed images of the Herald storming back into the Chantry, somehow overhearing their conversation, and demanding that they return her property before she left Haven behind due to the offence. It sounded ridiculous, even in his own head, but could it be an actual possibility? There was no doubt that, when the truth came to light, her trust in them would be heavily damaged. Was allowing Leliana to keep whatever it was away from the Herald a wise decision? Was it a worthwhile gamble? Was it worth the risk of possibly alienating the only woman who could close those rifts? What was the correct course of action?   

Cullen allowed himself a few minutes of this comfortable silence to ponder this, glad for Cassandra's presence and gladder still that she didn't insist on meaningless small talk. A significant portion of their time together was spent in silence, no words needed. It was a relief to know that there was someone who he didn't have to talk with to encourage a friendship. He felt, at times, that he got more out of their silences than many did from whole conversations. He was sure Cassandra felt the same. Eventually, he couldn't justify remaining outside the Chantry so, with a nod of thanks to the Seeker, he strode off towards the smith, determined to submit the rough drawings and schematics for the Herald's cane.   

-o0o-  

A few days later, Cullen spied the Herald once again standing at the periphery of the training area, this time leaning against a wall of a nearby building to watch them. Her hair, just beyond shoulder length, was pulled back into a tail at the base of her neck. Her blue-grey eyes were staring in the general direction of the training soldiers but, now that Cullen was paying attention, he noticed that they never seemed to stay locked on a single spot for very long, almost always in motion. He supposed that, now that he was aware of it, he wouldn't be able to stop noticing it.   

Her cane was under construction and would take a few more days to complete. Once Cullen had impressed upon the man the urgency of such a strange request and who the recipient was, the smith was more than happy to put aside all other orders to focus exclusively on the one task. Given the fact that this was the first attempt at making such a weapon as far as Cullen was aware, he was not expecting top-level craftsmanship. The Hinterlands, while definitely not a pleasant place to be, was not the most dangerous location Cullen could think of. This would be a good test for the cane design and, should there be any problems or difficulties encountered in the field, there would be time to adjust and improve the design before the Herald had to be sent on more dangerous missions.  

"Why do you think she visits here so often?" Cassandra asked, coming up behind him. He turned, startled before his gaze drifted to the training dummy she had previously been working with. Internally he winced; that was the third one this month. Cassandra followed his gaze and, if she had been anyone else, Cullen was sure her expression could best be described as sheepish. "I had to discuss the Herald's training with the dwarf this morning. I wanted his opinion on whether or not she was ready to be sent out into the field. "  

Well, that definitely explained it. The dummy had obviously been a stand-in for Varric. Why the dwarf insisted on needlessly needling Cassandra, Cullen would never know. Deciding to sidestep the source of Cassandra's ire, Cullen refocused on the question she'd asked. Why did she keep coming back to the training area?   

"I don't know," he admitted. "Have you considered asking her?"   

"I thought you might," Cassandra replied. Cullen blinked, startled. Why him? Seeing his confusion, Cassandra reached into a hidden pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. Gingerly Cullen took it, unfolding it to reveal the strange sketch the Herald had drawn during the last meeting. It was still as strange as he remembered. He looked up from it to give Cassandra a questioning look.   

"Leliana has had copies made," she explained. "She thought it best that one of us return the original."   

"So now we're giving her back her belongings?" He couldn't keep the sarcasm from his voice and Cassandra shot him a reproving look. After a moment she sighed, turning to eye the Herald a moment before returning her gaze to him.   

"I thought it best that you be the one to return this to her."   

"Why?" Cullen blinked, confused.   

"You are the Commander of the Inquisition and she is the Herald," Cassandra explained. "So far, you two have not interacted a great deal. Like it or not, Commander, you will need to form a working relationship with her at the very least."   

"So this is your way of making things easier for me then?" It made sense. Half the reason he hadn't approached her yet was that to be frank, he had nothing he had to say. How did one open up a conversation with a stranger with whom no commonalities seemed apparent? How did he talk to someone who, it seemed, had nothing to say to him? He could have approached her but, equally, she could have approached him.   

Unless she hadn't seen him.   

The thought startled him and he wanted to bury his face in his hands. Maker, was that the reason she hadn't approached? His typical outfit was rather distinctive, especially compared to the soldiers he was overseeing the training of, but would she be able to notice that at all? Had he been incredibly rude by not approaching her first? Something of his thoughts must have shown on his face because Cassandra was now giving him a worried look.   

"What is it?"   

"I just realised I might have been an idiot," he admitted. "How likely is it she can see us right now?" Cassandra turned, looking from him to the Herald with a perplexed expression for a moment before understanding seemed to dawn.   

"You think she might have been waiting for you to approach her?"   

"It's a possibility."   

"Perhaps..." Cassandra did not sound entirely convinced. "You could always ask her yourself." She gestured towards the sketch and Cullen heaved a sigh, knowing that tone far too well. Cassandra was determined to have him speak with the Herald this morning and he couldn't put it off with the excuse of training the soldiers. Cassandra had taken over for him a few times when the withdrawal headaches had struck at an inopportune time and he'd been able to fulfil his duty to the Inquisition. He wasn't even really leaving the training area; just venturing to the periphery to return something to someone watching the soldiers train.   

No, there was no way he was going to get out of this and Cassandra knew it.   

"You've been spending too much time with Leliana," he muttered, sounding like a petulant child even to his own ears.   

"I believe I shall choose to take that as a compliment," Cassandra replied, clearly pleased. "Now go, I shall take over your duties for the short time it will take you to have a conversation with the Herald."   

Steeling himself, Cullen turned and started making his way towards the Herald. He did not go straight there, not wanting to interrupt the various spars and drills going on, so he moved to the outside and made his way around the edge, calling some encouragement or instruction to those he passed. He spared a moment to break up a spar which was looking far too unfriendly for his liking, reprimanding both recruits soundly and, when he turned back to once again move towards the Herald, her head was turned in his general direction.   

Had she heard him? He'd perfected the ability to be heard over training recruits quite a while ago; a necessary skill for a Knight-Captain to possess so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Did she recognise voices like others did faces? There was no backing out now. She might have seen (heard?) him but did that mean she knew he'd seen her? It didn't matter. Cassandra had given him the sketch and he'd return it to her. He might not have her other belongings but he could do at least this much.   

"Herald," he called, striding towards her as confidently as he could. He just knew that some of the soldiers had taken notice of where he'd been heading and he knew that they would be paying close attention to the proceedings. Soldiers were gossips, even if they didn't look it at first. What other way was there to distract oneself from the bruises caused by training than talking about the lives of other people after all?   

"Commander Cullen," she greeted, giving him a small smile. He stood before her, not too close, and wondered what he was supposed to say next.   

"I wanted to update you on the progress of the cane you requested," he began, deciding to start with a safe topic. "The Smith said he should have it finished in another day or two." She brightened at that, the small smile turning into a clear grin.   

"It'll be good to have a cane again," she said. "I had Misty for about six years now so I'll be a bit out of practice but..." She shrugged. "Muscle memory I guess. Should be easy enough to pick up again."   

"I highly doubt you've had a cane that can double as a weapon before," Cullen commented.   

"No," she admitted. "I mean, I could always use it to hit people over the head or hit their shins if they didn't move out of the way but..."   

"But that's a far cry from actually carrying a knife," Cullen finished. "Cassandra told me about your...inexperience with weapons."   

"How much did she tell you?" Her tone was cautious and he could see her cheeks heating in embarrassment. Thinking back to the comment Cassandra had told him about he couldn't help but chuckle.   

"Enough to know that you need a lesson on how to use the whole blade, not just the pointy end." Her face grew even redder and Cullen wondered if this was appropriate. Should he be acting so casually or should he have kept this more professional?   

"I'll work on it," she muttered, looking down at her booted feet. Had he gone too far. He was about to apologise but, before he could open his mouth, she looked up again. "Was there anything else?"   

"I um...that is..." How did he continue the conversation? She didn't seem to know what to say any more than he did. He remembered the sketch in his pocket and let out a mental sigh of relief. "I have something for you, well something I need to return to you that is." He retrieved the folded paper and handed it to her. She looked confused making a small perplexed sound before unfolding the paper. She held it close to her face a moment before recognition seemed to dawn and she lowered the paper.   

"I forgot I drew this," she muttered, her hands starting to fiddle with the paper as she looked at him...at his general direction. That was going to take some getting used to. "Sorry...I guess that was unprofessional to do that when you were discussing things..."   

"It's fine," Cullen interrupted, his words coming out a little quicker than he'd intended. "That is... Leliana and Josephine didn't seem to require much input from the rest of us once you provided the basic design so...I apologise for taking so long to return it to you."   

"It's fine," she shrugged. "I'd forgotten all about it but...thanks for returning it." She gave him another smile and Cullen allowed himself to relax slightly. This had gone far better than expected.   

"So..." She paused, seeming to consider her words. "There seems to be more people here now then there was a few weeks ago."   

"There is," Cullen agreed, glad that the subject had changed to one he was more comfortable discussing. "Were you able to see that?" He wanted to put his face in his hands. Damn it. He hadn't meant to say that.   

"Sort of," she replied, not seeming to mind the question. "Generally, it's a lot louder so that typically means more people and it's getting harder to pick you out in a crowd."   

"You're able to pick me out?" Cullen asked, surprised.   

"The black thing around your shoulders, anyway," she admitted. "Only if the other people around you are wearing lighter armour though or it just sort of...blends in. I normally hear you long before I see you though."   

So she had known he was there, good to know. Why had she not approached? Like him, was she not all that keen on pointless conversations? That seemed unlikely given how much time she reportedly spent in the company of Varric Tethras. That still didn't explain why she continuously took up residence on the outskirts of the training area. Perhaps he could just ask her about it now?   

"I've been meaning to ask..." He began, voice hesitant. "Why do you spend so much time here? Not that you're not welcome to observe of course but..." He trailed off, not sure how to continue.   

"Ah, well...it's easy to find."   

He blinked, confused at that response. What did she mean easy to find? Of course it was. Most places in Haven were, once you knew the layout of the town. Thankfully she seemed to understand that her previous answer wasn't detailed enough so she continued. "If I get lost I just need to wonder until I hear the soldiers training.. Apart from exploring Haven there's not really much else I really do most days besides train and spend time with Varric so...it's either this or spend time in my hut most days and the weather's nice enough today that I thought I might as well...as long as I'm not disturbing you." A worried expression crossed her face. "I'm not a distraction, am I?"   

"No," he replied, perhaps a touch too quickly. Yes, a few recruits had noticed the Herald at the edge of the training area and had taken a knock or two for their inattention but it was good training. They couldn't afford to be distracted like that when they were out in the field after all. They were training these men to fight and the sooner they learned the perils of being distracted in combat, the better. "You're free to spend as much time here as you'd like."   

He hadn't actually thought about it but, now that she mentioned it, was there any other way for the Herald to spend her time in Haven other than training or engaging in conversation? Books could be found if one were determined enough but they were of little use if she could not read the pages. Other than that he couldn't think of anything which would be accessible and felt a pang of guilt.   

Had any of them considered how limiting her vision problem was beyond the obvious, not just for them in terms of strategy and combat but to her personally?   

"What did you do to entertain yourself before coming here?" He queried. "We are limited but perhaps there is something Leliana or Josephine could procure for you."   

She seemed taken aback by this, staring up at him in confusion. Standing so close, without a war table in between them, Cullen noted just how small she was for a human. She was closer to the average height for an elf and he wondered if she was of mixed heritage. The height would definitely explain why the armour she wore seemed oversized. They'd need to fix that too when they had the time. Perhaps her measurements could be taken before she set out for the Hinterlands and, while she was gone, a new set could be found which fitted better. Cullen knew from first-hand experience how unpleasant it could be to travel or fight wearing armour not suited to yo. At least it was rogue armour and not heavy plate, that would make things a bit easier for her until proper equipment could be sourced.   

"I like drawing," she admitted. Cullen could have kicked himself. Of course she liked drawing, why else would she sketch while clearly bored during a meeting when her input wasn't needed? Should he ask about her unusual style? Would she bring it up on her own?   

"Is there something stopping you from spending your time doing that?" He queried.   

She looked down again but Cullen couldn't figure out why. "I'm...not entirely sure where to get supplies," she admitted, confusing Cullen. "I also don't actually have any money to pay for them."   

For the second time in a minute, Cullen felt like slapping himself. He remembered the strange currency Leliana had shown them in the war room a few days ago. He'd heard from Leliana that, for now, since she didn't have anything of her own to barter with, the Inquisition was handling paying for her meals while she was staying in Haven. They couldn't afford to be extravagant but...  

"If you talk to Josephine I'm sure she could help," he offered. He was becoming more convinced that she was a sheltered noble of some sort. How would she not know how to get the supplies she needed for something she enjoyed?  

"I... thank you," she said. "I hadn't actually thought of that so...thank you." She seemed hesitant at first but, as she spoke, she grew more confident. She gave him another smile and he returned it.   

"So, can you tell me anything about the soldiers you're training?" She asked, changing the subject and taking Cullen off guard.   

"What would you like to know?"   

"Where are they coming from?" she asked. "I mean, they can't all have been soldiers before coming here, right?"   

"Most aren't," he admitted. "Many are refugees or recruits from Haven who saw what you accomplished with the Breach. I was recruited by Casandra not too long before this whole mess started. Of course, I only had the barest hint of what we were planning on facing then. Now though..." He trailed off, unable to articulate the sheer unbelievability of what had happened after the explosion of the conclave. All the deaths, the confusion and then, out of nowhere, a glowing figure aiding the Herald in stepping out from the fade itself. "I was there during the initial mage uprising. I saw first-hand the kind of chaos that was on the horizon. Cassandra sought a solution. I left the Templar order to follow her instead."   

"That must've been difficult."   

"You seem rather good at understating things," Cullen commented. "It was difficult but...I cannot deny that it was the right decision. There is so much good we can do here, so much that these people can be a part of. The Chantry can't act, not since it lost control of the mages and templars both. The whole situation is a mess and we could be the ones to restore order. There's just so much we can..." He trailed off, suddenly realising how much he'd started to ramble. He felt his cheeks heat in embarrassment and his hand rub the back of his neck. When he chanced a look at the Herald she was smiling at him.   

"Seems like you've thought this through quite a bit," she quipped and Cullen felt himself relax. She hadn't been put off. If anything, she sounded curious.   

"I've had plenty of time to do so," he answered. "Like you said, not much to do in Haven right now but train, prepare for your upcoming departure and think. There's not much more we can do until we have more influence."   

"And to do that you need me out, doing things to raise the standing of the Inquisition with potential allies," the Herald replied.   

"Yes," he admitted, feeling guilty again. They were asking a lot of her. She wasn't a mage, wasn't trained and, by all accounts, had no connections to either faction and no reason to be at the temple. He knew it was suspicious but, for whatever reason, he believed her when she said she couldn't recall what had happened or why she was there.   

The problem was, if he believed her about that, then how did she get from wherever it was she came from to a temple in the Frostback mountains?   

"Well...it could be worse," she said, her voice possessing a cheer her face did not.   

"How so," he questioned, curious despite himself.   

She opened her mouth before pausing, biting her lip in thought before shaking her head, grimacing. It seemed she couldn't think of anything either. He was sure there were worse situations to be in but, right now, even the smallest tasks of the Inquisition seemed like insurmountable obstacles. "I'm sure I'll think of something," she finally said.   

Cullen chuckled at that despite himself.   

"I've taken up enough of your time, I think," he said, deciding that this was as good a place as any to end the conversation. He hadn't gotten a chance to ask her everything he'd originally intended but he felt more comfortable in her presence and, if her relaxed stance was any indication, she felt similarly. "I'll have a runner fetch you when your cane is completed."   

"Sounds good," she said, pushing herself away from the wall she'd been pressed against. "I'm looking forward to seeing exactly what Leliana and Josephine came up with."   

"You weren't paying attention in the war room?" he questioned.   

"I... got a bit distracted," she admitted, looking down at her sketch. "That and... I had no idea what they were going on about half the time so I figured I'd find out when I saw it. As long as it's primary use is still a cane, I think it should be fine."   

"Fair enough," Cullen replied. Unsure what else to say he gave a quick bow and retreated back to the relative safety of the training ground, snapping out corrections and immersing himself in his duties as commander of the Inquisition.   

Cassandra sent him a questioning look as he took back control and he gave a nod. The conversation had gone better than he had expected. The Herald seemed genuinely interested in learning more about the soldiers and he'd had a few of his questions answered. He couldn't have asked for a better outcome. Cassandra seemed to understand because she didn't press the issue, just went back to her own training and left him to his duties.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was Cullen's perspective! I hope you liked the change of pace. Let me know if I've managed to do him justice or not in the comments! I'll try and have differing perspectives throughout the narative. It was certainly interesting writing from fully sighted person's point of view for a change, both easier and more difficult. 
> 
> I thought I'd make things a little more interesting by including an example of the sketch in question mentioned in the chapter. I didn't take too much time on this, just went for it and didn't pay too much attention to mistakes which I'd normally go over and fix or redo entirely.
> 
> Let me know if this is something you guys would be interested in seeing more of if artwork comes up in the fic later on. Just thought it might be an interesting addition
> 
> If for whatever reason, the picture does not appear I have provided a link here. 
> 
> https://www.dropbox.com/s/26an5skxrfgcspp/File%2005-12-2017%2C%2020%2016%2002.jpeg?dl=0


	6. Hiking through the Hinterlands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter 6! I'm not entirely happy with it but it's about as good as it's going to get so figured I'd just post and see what happened. 
> 
> Multiple points of view here! Also the final first-person POV. From this point on everything will be in the third person. Unless multiple people tell me they prefer it all first person, I'll stick to this from now on. 
> 
> As always, everything is un-betaed so any mistakes are all my own....or Grammarly. (although if anyone is interested in beta-ing, I wouldn't say no!) 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has viewed, left kudos, bookmarked and especially commented on this fic so far. It is all greatly loved and appreciated!

I walked away from that talk with Cullen feeling rather confused. How was I meant to react to the man? I looked down at the sketch in my hands and grimaced. My old school notebooks used to be full of little doodles and stupid little sketches. It was something I did without thinking. I hadn't thought about the picture in the last few days, forgetting its existence in favour of focusing on the fact that, yes, Leliana of all people had agreed to help me with my archery. Granted it wasn't every day (she had far better things to do) but it had still been amazing.  

Had Cullen been the only one who saw it? Doubtful. Leliana had probably noticed so it was likely Cassandra and Josephine had also gotten a good look. Why hadn't Leliana given it back that afternoon though? I mentally shrugged to myself, figuring that there wasn't much I could do about it and there wasn't exactly a lot they could do with it. Still, it was nice of Cullen to return it.  

I wasn't entirely sure how to talk to him one on one. I'd heard a lot about him from friends but I only knew him from Origins and Kirkwall and he hadn't exactly made a favourable impression in the latter. Granted he had turned on Meredith when it became clear she was a complete nutcase but I still couldn't forget the "you can't treat mages like people" comment. The fact that, at the time, I'd had Anders with me hadn't exactly helped either. Damn it man, I know people don't normally react to Hawke's companions but that was a new level of idiocy. Still; he seemed nice enough and the few mages I'd managed to spot helping out in the Inquisition didn't seem miserable or constantly hounded by Templars so I was willing to give the man the benefit of the doubt for the moment.  

Perhaps I was more flippant than I would normally be but the thought of the cane almost being finished was taking up quite a bit of my attention. It ended up being almost all I could concentrate on for the rest of the day. It was far preferable to thinking about what would happen when I got said cane. The Hinterlands. I couldn't remember much about it other than "Bears" which was definitely not encouraging.  

Time seemed to move too fast and yet not fast enough as, by the next day's afternoon, I was jittery and over-eager to the point that Varric had given up on my lesson for the day since I didn't seem to be able to concentrate for more than two minutes. He'd resorted to telling tales of his time in Kirkwall to distract me. 

Varric seemed almost offended that I hadn't actually read "Tale of the Champion" even if I couldn't actually see it. He seemed to have made it his mission to narrate all the "best" bits of the story. It turned out the Hawke that had made it to Kirkwall had been my male rogue. It was strange to think that a character I had created (sort of) was actually alive and present in this world. I'd recently discovered the Fate/Stay Night franchise and, after watching the "Unlimited Blade Works" series I'd been determined to create a character like Archer. He used two short-swords that reminded me of daggers and a bow. He was a damn rogue and nothing could convince me otherwise. Thinking back, he'd been one of my favourite playthroughs.  

I didn't know how I'd react when I finally met him but I knew I wouldn't have to worry about it for a while so I put it to the back of my mind. Harder to ignore were the implications of the choices I'd made in that playthrough. Hawke had spared his lover in the end and hadn't chased him off. What could I say? I had a massive soft spot for Anders. That, however, wouldn't stop me from throttling the man if I ever did meet him in real life. I thought vindictively of bashing his shins with my new cane and I couldn't help but grin. It was a tossup between doing that and shaking his hand for blowing up the damn Chantry. I'd actually cheered the first time it happened but, now that I was actually in Thedas, the full ramifications of those actions were all around me in the faces of all the displaced refugees. Still, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Things were getting worse and worse and I was pretty sure that if it hadn't been Anders it would have been something else that pushed things too far. Still... 

"Uh-oh," Varric muttered. "I'm not too sure I like the look on your face there, Rookie."  

"Don't worry," I grinned. "It's not aimed at you." Just a certain cat-loving warden who could use a good hit over the head. 

"Well, that only makes me feel marginally safer but I suppose it's better than nothing."  

"Do you want to see it or not?"  

"I'm going with you to the Hinterlands, remember?"  

"But aren't you curious?"  

"Now when did I say I wasn't?"  

"Then haud yer wheesht; we're almost there." 

Cullen had sent a runner barely more than ten minutes ago. We'd been in the tavern (nothing new there) when the boy had approached us. He'd been a stammering mess, an unfortunate side effect of the green glowy mark of doom on my left palm. Apparently, the smith's project was finished. I'd almost bolted straight out of my chair, only stopped by Varric who had insisted that we finish our food before pelting off to the Chantry where the advisors would be waiting. I guessed that they'd chosen there instead of the forge to make sure I'd be able to find them easily.   

Currently, we were approaching the front door to the Chantry and, as we did so, I noticed Cassandra standing there, waiting for us. When we drew close she gave a curt nod before opening the door and stepping through. The door was held for me but not, I noticed, for Varric. Apparently, Cassandra was feeling a little petty after not receiving an answer about Hawke's whereabouts that morning. She didn't believe that Varric didn't know where he was (something which was very much true) and so, every once in a while, she would ask him pointed questions. Varric was very skilled at either evading the questions entirely or just flat out denying any knowledge of where Hawke and, by proxy, Anders was. My thoughts momentarily returned to hitting the man over the head.  

Wait, was he experiencing the fake calling like the others? Something to consider later.  

As we entered the war room I couldn't help but notice the long, slim box lying on the table. It was probably normally used to transport swords or something as it seemed far too wide for a cane. Still, I itched to open it, my fingers twitching towards it even as I forced myself to remain calm.  

"Well, that was quicker than I was expecting," Cullen commented from the other side of the table. I directed a sheepish smile his way, not really sure how to explain my sudden need to possess the damn thing.  

"Trust me, Curly," Varric commented. "We would've been here quicker if she'd had her way."  

"Eager to see it then?" Cullen asked.  

"Definitely," I admitted. I forced myself to wait though. Josephine and Leliana probably wouldn't be too much longer and, since they had played a key role in designing it, it only felt right to wait until they were present to unveil it. Josephine arrived in a cloud of Antivan perfume and ruffled golden silk, practically gliding through the door with her clipboard already in hand. We exchanged greetings before settling into a semi-awkward silence, at least to me. I tried to avoid fidgeting. Josephine and Varric started up some small talk to pass the time until Leliana arrived. I guessed that she was probably tending to some important spymaster stuff or something of the like...either that or just going for a dramatic entrance. It was probably the former but I wouldn't entirely rule out the latter.  

"Herald," Josephine's voice immediately grabbed my attention. I gathered together my wondering thoughts and turned to face her, tilting my head curiously. "I thought you might like to know that the supplies you discussed with Commander Cullen have been purchased and will arrive by the time you return from the Hinterlands." I had to pause a minute to remember what she was talking about but, when I did remember, I couldn't help but grin more broadly at her.  

"What's this now?" questioned Varric.  

"The Herald requested some supplies so that she may continue sketching in her free time," Josephine explained.  

"Ah, the drawing that got you all covered in charcoal."  

"It wasn't the drawing's fault," I defended. "I just... need to be really close to the paper, that's all."  

"Well, why haven't you shown me this mysterious drawing yet?"  

"It wasn't that good, just a little doodle I did when I thought no one was paying attention."  

"Well then, I want to see what you draw next time."  

"Seriously?" I couldn't keep the incredulity from my voice. 

"Your style is quite unique," Josephine put in. "Very striking. I too would be interested in seeing more, if you would permit me of course."  

I blinked, startled. It hadn't been that interesting, just a rough sketch of a random anime girl with a short ponytail.  

"Alright..." I said, drawing the word out as I looked around at them all.  

Leliana chose that moment to weep into the room, her dark clothing blending with the flickering shadows cast by the wall sconces. I was pretty sure the only reason I was able to pick up the fact that she was there was because she was letting me. Pleasantries were observed once again and, finally, I was allowed to turn my full attention back to the box on the table.  

Reaching out I pulled the box toward me, feeling along the sides for a handle or clasps or something which would allow me to open it. Finding what I was looking for, I lifted the lid, carefully setting it to the side so that it wouldn't make a loud thump when it came into contact with the table.  

The cane was held in place by small metal clamps inside the case. Just from looking at it, I couldn't tell whether or not it could fold up or not. The exact colour was hard to tell in the torchlight but I thought it was probably somewhere between white grey and blue. Reaching out I ran my fingers over the smooth surface from the base of the handle to the round opposite end.  

My original cane had had a ball attached at the end but this one had something which reminded me more of a wheel. I felt along the edges, getting familiar with how it spun as I turned it this way and that. Done inspecting that particular element of the cane, I focused on the handle. It, unlike the rest of the cane, felt like sturdy wood instead of smooth metal although it was covered over with something I assumed was leather to form the grip. The shape was almost exactly as I'd described, circular but with a groove where my pointer finger would rest when in use. It was darker than the rest of the cane, a black or dark grey possibly, with a little bit of detailing at the very end of the handle which I couldn't quite identify.  

"Well?" Varric asked. "Are you just gonna admire it all day or are you gonna take it out and give it a try?"  

Giving him a look over my shoulder I carefully removed the cane from the box and started testing it, feeling the weight and getting used to the grip. I set the wheeled end on the floor, angling the cane so my right arm was able to sit comfortably while I gripped it. The room wasn't very large but it was big enough that I could give it a go.  

Taking a step forward with my left foot I swung the cane across the floor to the right, the wheel making a small skittering noise as I did so. It was slightly heavier than I was used to but not uncomfortably so. I took another step, this time with my right foot, and swung the cane to my left. I did this a few more times, getting back into the rhythm of step and swing that I'd been taught as a teenager. I'd been right; it was easy to remember.  

"So, how does it feel?" Varric asked. He seemed to be the one most comfortable asking me these kinds of questions since the other four had remained silent during my little demonstration.  

"It's good," I answered, not really sure what else to say. I picked it up, feeling the weight in my hand as I held the cane in the middle of the shaft instead of the handle. I felt more carefully along it, trying to find places where it might come apart. 

"Allow me," Leliana said. Gingerly I handed the stick over to her. Watching closely, I saw her put her hands on either side of about the middle of the shaft. She twisted them in opposite directions and I heard a small click as the two pieces smoothly separated. As Leliana pulled them apart I caught a flash of something. I leaned further forward, curious and then impressed as I realised that separating the cane revealed the hidden blade Leliana and Josephine had insisted on. It was attached to the side of the cane with the handle and was, I guessed, about a quarter of the total length of the cane. I reached out and ran my finger over the edge, feeling how sharp it was without nicking myself.  

"Impressive," Cassandra commented. "Am I to understand that the bottom half of the cane acts as a sheath?"  

"Indeed," Josephine replied, smiling. "Clever, no? A good way for the Herald to defend herself if someone tries to take the cane from her." I thought about that and couldn't help but grin. If someone grabbed the cane they'd likely try and go for it at a point furthest away from me. If they pulled and I twisted, the bottom half would come away and I'd be left holding the bladed end.   

Varric let out a small whistle of appreciation and I grinned in his general direction as Leliana handed both halves to me. Carefully I lined up the bottom and top halves, finding how the blade slid in easily enough and soon holding a fully intact cane once again. 

"How sturdy is it?" I asked, weighing it in a hand before beginning to spin it. It was something I was sure most cane users did at least once. I twirled it faster, releasing it as it spun so it flipped over the back of my hand. I almost fumbled it but, thankfully, I managed to grab it before it hit the ground. That would have been embarrassing. I supposed I'd have to be more careful doing tricks like that now that I knew there was a blade hidden inside the thing.  

"Quite sturdy," Cullen replied. "We specifically requested the lightest but strongest materials the smith had in stock at the time. As long as you don't try and engage a warrior in combat you should be able to use it to defend yourself if you can't use a bow."  

"Indeed," Cassandra agreed. "It is useful but remember that it is still far too thin to stand up to a determined warrior wielding a sword or axe."  

I nodded, practising taking apart and putting the cane back together.  

"So it doesn't fold up?" I asked, glancing from Leliana to Josephine.  

"The Smith was unable to do so without revealing the hidden blade," Josephine replied, sounding apologetic. "It can, however, be attached to a harness in a similar manner to your bow and quiver so, when not in use, you can carry it on your back easily enough." I nodded. It made sense. Maybe a second attempt would be able to figure out how to handle it but, for now, this would definitely do. I remembered one friend mentioning Dagna from the first game being good with weapons and enchanting. I didn't know when we'd actually get her to join us but, when we did, I figured she'd probably be the person to ask about improvements. It didn't really matter that much now though as, when we left for the Hinterlands, I highly doubted I'd spend much time with it strapped to my back. Speaking of... 

"So when would you like us to leave to speak to Mother Gisella?" I asked, glancing at the three advisors.  

"As soon as you are able," Josephine replied, sounding a tad apologetic. "We will have belongings packed for you. There are no horses currently so you will have to carry a pack alongside your weapons."  

"There's an old horse master named Denet near where you'll be travelling," put in Cullen. "He's got some of the best stock in Ferelden. You should be able to acquire mounts for the Inquisition there."  

"Sounds like fun," put in Varric. The others must have given him a look because he continued. "You didn't think I wouldn't be tagging along, did you Seeker?"  

"I suppose not," Cassandra admitted. "You proved yourself in the valley well enough and I cannot deny that having additional allies would be useful while travelling."  

"Great," Varric beamed. "I'll tell Chuckles the good news, shall I? I'm sure he'll want to come too."  

"Very well." Cassandra sounded annoyed but, thankfully, nothing more than that. Varric seemed to be holding off on the teasing for the moment; something I was immensely grateful for. 

"It's settled then," put in Leliana. "The four of you will depart for the Hinterlands in a few days and will meet with some scouts we have in the area."  

"While you're there," began Cullen. "Look for things you can do that will increase our reputation and strength. I've been meaning to have locations scouted for watchtowers; see if you can find any good locations while you're travelling."  

"As well as sealing any rifts you come across," put in Leliana. "Many do not believe that you are able to do what you claim. If they see first-hand what the mark is capable of, it will bolster our reputation and draw more people to our cause."  

"Anything else?" I couldn't help but ask. There was no way I was going to keep the sarcasm from my tone. I couldn't even if I'd wanted to. They didn't ask for much, did they?"  

"Not right now, no," Josephine replied, her tone perfectly mild as she wrote something down on her clipboard. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at her.  

"I'll go talk to Chuckles," put in Varric. "See you tomorrow for training, Rookie."  

I gave a half-hearted wave in Varric's direction as he stepped out. The conversation didn't last too much longer and soon I was outside the Chantry, cane at the ready.  

"Is it necessary in Haven?" Cassandra asked beside me. She'd followed me outside, leaving Cullen, Leliana and Josephine in the war room to talk about things which I had no interest or involvement in. 

"Not anymore," I admitted. "I'm getting more used to this place but it's also a good chance to practice." Cassandra nodded, accepting my answer. I'd definitely need to get used to the constant wrist movement again. It could be tiring if you didn't do it right and since I'd soon be doing a lot of travelling, I wanted to make sure I was remembering how to do it correctly.  

"Very well," Cassandra said. "I will leave you to it then. We shall meet at the main gates in two days. Someone will be sent to you tomorrow to help you pack." With a final nod in my general direction, she was gone and I was left alone at the Chantry door. Sighing to myself I gripped the cane and started forward. 

-o0o- 

Two days later, just as Cassandra had instructed, I was standing at the front gate with Varric. Adaranni, the elven servant from the second day, had helped me pack the day before. She had also insisted on getting my measurements for the advisors so that they could commission a better fitting set of rogue armour from Harritt. He specialised in armour but he'd apparently been the one to make the cane. I'd thanked him the day before, taking the time to actually interact with other people in Haven and generally be seen doing more than just wander about the town.   

First and foremost, I'd packed a few different clothes to wear under my armour. I didn't have it as bad as some rogues or most warriors but, generally, if I was planning on wearing armour for a prolonged period of time, I needed an underlayer. Next had come food rations. I got the impression that we were expected to be able to catch a lot of our own food while on the move and my stomach rebelled at the thought. Still, I had enough dried meat and other such items to keep me going for a few days (or so I'd been told) alongside a water skin I'd filled that morning. There were a few other odds and ends but the main goal was, I suspected, to get me to travel light until I got more used to it.  

It had taken some juggling but, eventually, I'd managed to situate my pack, bow and quiver all on my back without overbalancing. The weight was definitely unpleasant, pulling at my shoulders uncomfortably but there was nothing I could afford to leave behind so I bore it. My cane was ready and waiting by my side. I'd taken to twirling the handle around, trying to limit my fidgeting to smaller movements. My goal was to not actually take the end of the cane off the ground. It was that or pace and I thought this would be less distracting.  

"Good, you're early," Came Casandra's voice. I jumped, turning to face her. She came towards us with her normal confident stride. The addition of a large pack on her back didn't seem to hinder her movements at all and I felt a spike of jealousy.  

The three of us stood around awkwardly for another minute or two, waiting for Solas. I thought about trying to strike up a conversation with Varric but didn't want to risk annoying Cassandra before we'd even left Haven. Cassandra, for her part, seemed content to remain quiet and Varric followed our lead. 

Solas, thankfully, wasn't too much longer and, when he finally did arrive, he gave a short bow to the three of us and apologised. He'd apparently been exploring the Fade and had lost track of time when he discovered a particularly interesting memory. I had to work quite hard to keep the "I'm not buying this bullshit" look off my face that I desperately wanted to throw his way.  

Cassandra, satisfied that we were all present and accounted for, ordered the gates open. She was obeyed immediately and all too soon we were walking down a mountain path heading out of the Frostback mountains and down into the Hinterlands.  

The path was craggy and uneven but, thankfully, still usable. My cane made things a lot easier, providing a make-shift crutch at times and doing Its job of alerting me to uneven stretches. I was able to relax somewhat as I grew used to the repetitive motions, not concentrating solely on the ground as I walked, the tenseness from my shoulders gradually loosening. This allowed me to focus more on my surroundings. Even though it was still bitterly cold there was a certain beauty. Everything was grey and white and the morning sun almost seemed to cause the snow to shine.  

I knew we were still moving slower than Cassandra would have liked but I was pretty sure I'd been able to pick up the pace quite drastically compared to the last time we travelled together so she said nothing. We ended up making camp early the first day, Cassandra and I sharing a tent while Varric and Solas did the same. At night, while I slept, the others took turns on watch. I was excused from performing this duty for obvious reasons.  

We encountered a couple small rifts as we ventured further from Haven but, so far, nothing Cassandra, Varric and Solas could not handle. The small skirmishes we'd partaken in had only involved two or three demons so I was unnecessary until it came time to close the rifts. This suited me just fine as I was still working on my aim with Varric. I had managed to get better with unmoving targets but this was the first time I'd be putting my improvements to the test. 

Eventually, the scenery changed from grey and white to green and brown as we ventured further into lowland Ferelden. At first, only small shrubs and stunted trees appeared in our peripherals as we descended from the Frostbacks but, as time went on, the trees grew bigger and greener, more leaves populating their branches until, suddenly, I almost thought we were in a forest with all the trees and other foliage surrounding us. The pretty scenery was almost enough to distract me from the bloody buggering blisters my feet were accumulating. I wasn’t used to walking this long over such terrain and the skin being rubbed raw by my boots made this fact extremely obvious.  

Thankfully Solas had had the foresight to bring some elfroot salve which worked miracles on said blisters and, although not perfectly healed by the next morning, I was able to continue on without wincing at every step or rub of fabric against the stinging skin.  

For a day or two after entering the Hinterlands, proper things were quiet. Some party banter had started occurring as we got more used to travelling with each other. Varric, while still occasionally baiting Cassandra, seemed to realise that doing so over an extended period of time with no time apart would not do either of them any good so reserved some of his wittier remarks for another time. Solas, normally quite quiet anyway, spoke little except when asked a question or to explain about some particular plant specimen we spotted nearby. I took to asking him about every new plant we passed, not just to make him join the conversation but because I was genuinely interested. He even helped me start finding certain plants and teaching me how best to harvest them so they could be used as ingredients. Needless to say, elfroot was one of the most common herbs gathered as we journeyed and, although I couldn't find it easily, the smell was becoming quite familiar.  

Solas, like Varric, had not seemed all that surprised to learn of my disability. He explained, upon questioning, that he'd had to scan my body while I was unconscious to make sure that the mark was not having an adverse effect on anything other than my hand. He'd apparently noted that there had been something wrong but, like I'd told Cassandra, there wasn't much he could do about it. He'd simplified his explanation for us non-mages but, from what I could tell, it all boiled down to the fact that, to my body, the bad connection between my brain and eye was natural. My vision was not due to an injury or illness inflicted later in life but, instead, something which developed in the womb. Magic, when healing, looked for what the body was meant to be originally and drew from that. Because this was my body's original state, the magic did not naturally gravitate towards it as a source of injury. In short, like I'd told the advisors, there was no point seeking out a healer because there was nothing to fix as far as my body and the magic were concerned. 

It was on the third day of our travels that we first encountered a bear. There was little warning. One moment we had been walking along, Varric joking about something or other when there had been a sudden rustle in the greenery to our right. I hadn't had time to do anything but yelp as a large brown... something... came charging towards us. I threw myself down and out of the way of the charging creature, landing awkwardly with my cane under me. Nearby I could hear Cassandra unsheathe her sword and Solas let loose a blast of magic which sent the newly-identified bear flying backwards away from us.  

"Up you get, Rookie," Varric encouraged, hefting Bianca from his back and launching a bolt with almost laughable ease. "What would your soldiers think if they saw you lying down on the job, oh mighty Herald."  

"Piss off," I snapped, pushing myself up and unslinging my bow from my back and grabbing an arrow. I'd practised this part so many times that fitting the arrow to the bowstring took almost no time. Looks like Varric's repeated drills had paid off. The problem was that the bear's brown fur blended quite well with the general scenery. I paused, string pulled back and eyes narrowed as I tried to figure out where to aim. Solas, thankfully, helped by freezing the bear in place. The icy coating of blue-white a beacon amongst the brown and green. I fired and, to my amazement, the arrow hit and stuck. Barely resisting jumping in excitement I pulled out another arrow and fired while the bear was still encased in ice.  

In the end, Cassandra was the one to finish it, almost cleaving its head off in one go with her sword. The fight had barely lasted five minutes but I felt the sudden adrenaline rush I'd been riding cut off rather abruptly and I promptly sat down on a nearby rock, staring at the corpse.  

I'd actually managed it. I'd contributed to an actual fight for the first time since leaving Haven. Granted it wasn't exactly a difficult battle but... 

"Not bad, Rookie," complimented Varric. "I think we've figured out the best way for you to fight."  

"Have someone else stop it from moving?"  

"Yup," he agreed. "Things are generally easier to hit if they stay still anyway so it isn't as if this doesn't help us out either, you know."  

From that moment on it felt like every bear in the Hinterlands was drawn to our location. A system was worked out rather quickly. I and Varric would fall back while Cassandra advanced and Solas worked to keep the enemy at a distance. This was far more difficult when there was more than one enemy but, as long as there was one target which was stationary, I could at least contribute which evened out the playing field. Solas would use a spell to freeze the bear (or demon) in place and I'd move as close as I dared while firing, moving back when Solas indicated that the spell was going to wear off so I didn't draw too much attention to myself.  

We'd avoided meeting any bands of roaming templars or mages but I knew that wouldn't last forever. Days passed in this manner, fighting bears and demons while closing rifts. Areas we cleared were marked on a map Cassandra had brought for just such a purpose, indicating where potential Inquisition outposts might be located. After the fifth day of this, I was almost feeling cheerful.  

It was, of course, not long after I realised that fact that things went sideways.   

We encountered a group of templars first. I can only assume they saw that Solas was carrying a staff and, instead of stopping us to ask questions or whatever any sane individual would do, they opted for the Thedasian equivalent of "shoot first, ask questions later" by charging at us full force, blades drawn and shields up.  

The shields made my use of the bow pointless as it was likely any shots sent their way would be blocked or, because of their armour, ineffectual. The rest of the party seemed to realise this as I was unceremoniously shoved to the back behind Varric with strict instructions from Cassandra to "stay out of the way". I was perfectly fine with this arrangement. I'd been doing well against bears and demons but the thought of firing with lethal intent at another sentient creature didn't sit right with me. If I hadn't been shunted back I would have likely frozen mid-battle which could have gotten me or my allies killed.  

Throughout the fight Cassandra tried to reason with them, stating her rank as a Seeker and that Solas was under her protection. They didn't seem to care though as their attacks didn't stop until our group made them stop.  

If I'd been sat behind a computer screen during this I would have immediately looted their corpses afterwards and, while I had no love for templars, I couldn't quite bring myself to do it. Varric didn't seem to share my reservations thankfully and, soon enough, we were once again moving through the undergrowth. The Templars hadn't had much but Varric had liberated a few coins which he had tossed in my general direction. I retrieved the bag from where it had landed on the ground but, upon trying to return it to Varric, was refused.  

"You need the coin more than I do, Rookie," he had said. "My books are good for something, after all." I'd still been reluctant, feeling like I hadn't earned the coins (which I knew was stupid) but reluctantly accepted and tucked the bag away in one f the handy little belt pouches I was becoming so fond of.  

We ran into a band of mages later that day and, although Solas tried to reason with them like Cassandra had done with the Templars, it was no use. They had, unlike the first group, set an ambush rather than charging headlong at us. Cassandra had had quite a bit of trouble with some glyphs placed on the ground which limited her movement. Varric, Solas and I, being ranged fighters, were able to sidestep this hurdle but, once again, I wasn't actually any use. I fired a few half-hearted shots but I was pretty sure they'd either been misses or been blocked by barriers.  

This, I knew, was going to become a problem very quickly. It wasn't that I wanted to kill people. Rationally I knew that I had to, that in these kinds of situations I was completely within my rights to defend myself as, as far as these groups knew, we had nothing to do with their conflict. They were dragging us into their mess and we were just defending ourselves. Knowing this intellectually and implementing it practically were, unfortunately, completely different kettles of fish.  

My companions didn't seem to be holding it against me...yet. I knew that, at some point, I'd be forced into a situation where I'd have to kill. It was inevitable given what was yet to come. It might be better if I just got it over with now, fought and killed someone now so I could panic about it and have the inevitable breakdown when we weren't surrounded by superior numbers or in a situation where breaking down would get others killed. I knew I should but... 

Not yet.   

We were close to where the scouts were apparently stationed. Not close enough that we could reach them that day but definitely close. We set up camp and I let my mind drift, tuning in and out of the conversation before finally turning in and curling under my blankets. Tomorrow I'd meet Mother Giselle and I had no clue how I was supposed to approach her. All I knew about her was that, generally, people seemed to like her and that she wasn't Dorian's biggest fan. Should I pretend to give a shit about the Chant? Should I play up the herald thing or would that alienate her? Should I just be honest?  

These were, unfortunately, not thoughts conducive to getting a good night's sleep.  

-o0o- 

Varric paid close attention to the Herald as they made their way through the Hinterlands. She was doing well, all things considered. On the way down she’d clearly had trouble with the, at times, steep decent but the cane had been a pretty useful improvised walking stick when she’d needed it. Once they’d reached flatter ground their pace had increased dramatically. It had taken a bit to get used to the constant back and forth motion of the cane but, after a while, it ceased to register in his peripheral vision, becoming the equivalent of background noise as they journeyed further into the Hinterlands.  

Lilian was staring around at everything as if she’d never been anywhere like it before in her life. Every plant seemed to be interesting to her and occasionally she would just stop to seemingly admire the view of a particularly nice bit of landscape.  

For a while after leaving Haven she'd been extremely tense, always looking over her shoulder and generally being far quieter than he was used to after getting to know her over the last few weeks. As time went on though everyone in the group loosened up and the slightly awkward atmosphere dissipated. He started up some inane banter to break the silence, engaging first Solas and then the Seeker in conversation before moving to include Lilian, gradually getting her to interact more with the other two members of the group. She’d started asking questions of Solas after that, quizzing him on various plants they passed and generally being curious about everything whether she was able to see it or not.  

At some point, she’d even started to hmmm under her breath as they moved. It was quiet and Varric was pretty sure he wouldn’t have heard it if he weren’t walking so close to her. Judging by the slight twitch he’d observed in Solas’s ears, the apostate had also taken note. It didn’t seem to be a conscious thing as she seemed unaware she was even doing it. Perhaps just something to break up the silence? He’d tried to place the melodies but, unfortunately, they had been wholly unfamiliar. A good song might spread far and wide but the ones that people hummed or sang without thinking were normally a good indication of where they hailed from. So far, Lilian had been very tight lipped about that particular subject and Varric, being the nosy gossip that he was, couldn’t just leave it at that. He’d respect her right to keep quiet of course but that didn’t mean he couldn’t look for other clues.  

So far he’d been receiving mixed signals. Her accent placed her as possibly being from Starkhaven in the Free Marches but, although her first name was common enough, her surname was not something he could readily identify. He’d never heard of a family named Muir before and, like Leliana and Josephine, Varric had concluded that Lilian had to have come from, at the very least, a minor noble house. There were just too many things she seemed to take for granted or didn’t think about which marked her as not belonging to a common class. Then again she just didn’t act like any noble he’d ever met either. It was a damn puzzle and Varric just couldn’t seem to leave it alone, like a loose tooth that you just couldn’t help but poke at with your tongue until it finally fell out.  

He’d hold his tongue, for now, watch and wait until he either had enough facts to put things together on his own or she finally gave in and told him herself.  

He wondered how she'd handle things when they got to the camp mentioned in the war room. Thus far, Lilian had let Cassandra take over, falling behind even though, technically, she should have been leading their little band of misfits. He'd noticed her defaulting to Cassandra quite a bit. He'd need to encourage a bit more independence there. Relying on Cassandra was all well and good when you weren't sure what you were doing but he knew, eventually, the two would start diverging and he didn't want her in the habit of relying on the Seeker to make decisions. He'd joked about writing the story of the Inquisition with the Herald but, really, he knew he wasn't joking. He was an author and this scenario, while utterly terrifying, also practically demanded to be documented.  

Lilian had the markings of a great protagonist, in his mind at least. She'd been given the mark, dragged into a conflict she had no part in and wasn't prepared. From there she'd have to rise to the occasion or fail. Varric knew what he was hoping for and, if he stuck by her, he knew he'd get the chance to write it all down. It was like Hawke all over again but on a far larger scale.  

Thinking of Hawke inevitably made him think of Anders and he couldn't stop the coil of anger churning in his gut even if he'd wanted to. He could still see the expression on the mage's face, that sad yet resigned look that told Varric he'd known what he'd done was wrong but that he didn't regret it. He wondered if he did now, now that the world had gone to hell and it had all been because of his bloody crusade. Was he still with Hawke? He'd specifically requested not to know. It would be harder to keep quiet about his friend's whereabouts to the Seeker if he knew, definitively, that the old Darktown healer was with him. He wasn't necessarily proud of that fact but it was what ti was.  

He knew he couldn't lay the entire blame at Ander's feet of course. Meredith had been barking mad and, eventually, something had to give. The city had been balanced on a knife's edge for years and, by the end, before everything had gone to shit, it had been a toss-up which side would break first and do something utterly stupid.  

He'd just never thought... 

Deliberately he made himself turn away from those thoughts. They did him no good and dwelling on them wouldn't get him anywhere.  

"Ready for something to eat, Rookie?" he asked, his tone deliberately light.  

She looked up, startled out of her own thoughts and Varric frowned slightly at the somewhat dazed look she sported before awareness came back. She shook her head, dislodging whatever it had been she'd been pondering before giving him a smile.  

"Sounds like a good idea," she said, voice not betraying how distracted she'd been a moment ago. "Would you like some help?"  

"Nah," he replied, giving an easy grin at her offer of help. "It's fine. Chuckles and the Seeker can manage and I don't trust you not to trip over a stray tree root."  

"That only happened because you were distracting me," she replied, voice indignant.  

"And the time you tripped over thin air when you decided you didn't need your cane yesterday?"  

Her cheeks heated, visible even in the warm glow if the firelight.  

"There was a rock," she muttered, voice sullen.  

"Mmhmm," he agreed easily. "Must've been an invisible rock."  

Not giving her time to reply, he turned and set to gathering the ingredients for a simple stew. He smirked at the indignant noises he could hear coming from behind him, thoroughly distracted from his previous thoughts.  

-o0o- 

Solas was confused. This was not a state of being he particularly enjoyed existing in. And, as a result, he sought to rectify the situation. How had things gone so wrong, so quickly?  

Nothing was as it should be. The world was wrong and he was fully aware that a great deal of the blame for that could be laid at his feet. He wanted to rectify his mistakes, to tear down what he had built, to return the Elvhen to what they should be rather than the foolish children playing at understanding things they could not possibly comprehend. Everything was just so wrong that it made his head spin unpleasantly.  

Then there had been the fiasco with the conclave and Corypheus. This situation was not a possibility he had envisioned when he’d first set out on his quest but, nevertheless, here he was,  

Thoughts of the ancient magister inevitably lead to thoughts of his orb which, inexorably, lead to thoughts of the Herald of Andraste (such a foolish title) currently curled up at the mouth of the tent she shared with the Seeker, Cassandra, watching the flickering fire with keen, if shaky, eyes. It was not the fact that she was human which Solas was concentrating on (although the thought of a human bearing his power was rather distasteful) but the fact that, as far as he could tell, she just did not belong.  

Before she stepped out of the Fade, Solas had been sure that another being had been the one to connect with his mark. While the orb was not directly in contact with him, he could still feel it, could sense where it was and what it was doing and he had been sure that someone had touched it, someone, who was not the current Herald. He had been unable to tell the identity of that person but, regardless, somehow his mark had bonded to someone, that someone had disappeared while in the Fade and, instead, Lilian Muir had emerged. Something must have happened in the Fade, something he was unaware of and, if there was one thing Solas hated above all, it was not knowing things about a situation when, by rights, he should. It was his orb, his magic, and he wanted to know exactly what had happened to it when it was out of his sight and thus control.  

Unfortunately, Lilian didn’t seem to recall what had happened and, although he was dubious about her, he could not detect a lie in her words. She really couldn’t remember how she emerged from the Fade or how she had gotten there in the first place. How he wanted to explore that possibility. The chance to physically enter the Fade, not just step in there in dreams. It was something he’d discussed with Wisdom on many occasions but the spirit seemed just as lacking in information as he, himself, had been.  

There was something about her which made his senses, the ones honed during many years of battle and political skirmishes, sit up and take note. The others had noticed, of course. Humans, they may be but they were not stupid. The spymaster was already attempting to find information on the Herald and the newly instated Ambassador Josephine was developing her own network which she could tap for information.  

Unfortunately for them, Solas was sure that there would be nothing for them to find. Lilian Muir did not belong here and Solas had made it his mission to figure out exactly how she had appeared where she did not belong. She played ignorance rather well but, to someone who was as experienced as he in deception, she was all but an open book.  

She knew far more about what was going on than she should and yet, in other areas, not nearly enough. It was a baffling yet intriguing conundrum he faced.  

While she had been unconscious from the application of the mark he had taken the time to do a far more thorough scan than he had informed the Seeker of. From that he had noted the defect in the connection between her eyes and brain and, while it was bound to be troublesome, it was not something he had felt he needed to pass along.  

The fact that, when they had met at the first rift, Cassandra had not noticed had been very amusing for a time. The woman was competent and Solas could only assume that it was the stressful nature of the situation that had dulled her observation skills to such a degree.  

His thoughts drifted back to the Herald currently sitting across from him, the firelight illuminating her round face as she tapped out a rhythm on her crossed legs with her fingers. He thought the taps might correspond to the tune of one of the songs she’d hummed under her breath earlier in the day but it was difficult to tell. Like the humming, it seemed a reflexive habit, not something consciously thought of.  

He did not feel the need to hide his scrutiny from her, knowing she would be unable to sense it. Varric and Cassandra, while they might scold him for it if done too frequently, often sent similar looks her, the Seeker far more frequently doing so than the dwarf. While such observations were useful he knew that, in time, he’d be able to get a far closer examination of her mind than the others would ever dare believe.  

Solas had yet to enter her dreams. He knew that, although most times nonsensical, dreams could be extremely informative. A person’s mind was open in dreams, free to wander and explore without the limitations placed upon it by the material plane. What she knew and how she knew it would, he hoped, be revealed if he could only guide her sleeping mind in the correct direction at the right moment. It would be tricky but he was confident in his abilities to manipulate the Fade and slip into someone’s sleeping mind without being noticed. Lilian was not, after all, a mage and so her connection to the Fade was virtually non-existent. His mark would act as a beacon, meaning he would be able to find her virtually anywhere when she slept, his magic calling out like a siren’s song.  

Unfortunately, he could not afford to slip into her mind while they were travelling. It would require him to enter a state of deep sleep which, if done at an inopportune time, could possibly render he and the Herald unable to be wake during an attack. The mage-Templar conflict would, naturally, result in conflicts of other sorts popping up. Where there was restlessness, there was inevitably people who were determined to take advantage or, in some cases, desperate to fight back to protect themselves. Though it had not happened yet, it was inevitable that they would be ambushed at night.  

The risk was not worth any potential rewards at this stage when there were better options available.  

For now, he would continue to play the helpful apostate, offering guidance when asked and accompanying the Herald when she made her journeys. The company of the humans and dwarf was not, as he had first suspected, wholly unpleasant. Varric could be a bit tedious but the Seeker, despite her devotion to her human god, was a suitable enough companion. The Herald's curiosity was if he were to be honest, pleasant. Once aware she could do so, she had shown a definite interest in plants and, he suspected, the Elvhen themselves. She had not asked any questions of him yet but he could see how interested she had been when he'd casually dropped some facts about the Elvhen into conversation.  

She was barely more than a child, only 23. Varric had asked her about her age during a particularly dreary part of the journey and Solas could see it. Humans may have shorter lives than elves, even in this distorted world, but even by their standards, she was only a few years into adulthood. Such a great responsibility put on her shoulders...He felt a flash of guilt but pushed it away. There was no point in feeling such things now. He had chosen the path he would walk and he would continue until it reached its inevitable conclusion. The world was wrong and he had to right it...no matter the cost.  

-o0o- 

Cassandra took the time to mull over the last few days as the settled into camp that night. The Herald, with her cane, had been far better at keeping up a respectable pace (if not as quick as Cassandra would have liked) and they had worked out a good way of fighting as a group. Against the demons and bears they had encountered, Cassandra could not complain about the progress the herald had made.  

It was clear that she trusted them more, confidence growing as they engaged in more battles and, once they figured out a strategy which worked, things had definitely looked up. Solas freezing enemies in place provided contrast which the Herald could focus on in their current surroundings, the icy blue standing out against the dark greens and browns of the Hinterlands. It would not always be that way but, for now, it was extremely useful. This had been a previously unthought of bonus to the move which was already useful as it prevented enemies from moving. After discovering this, the Herald had been more able to participate in battles with demons and wildlife, fully integrating herself as a useful member of the party. 

The problem was that this did not extend to human opponents.  

Cassandra was not foolish. The Herald was previously untrained and had never taken a life before. During a life or death battle, this could cause her to freeze up which could get her (or them) killed. Anticipating this, she had deliberately ensured that Lilian was out of the way when they engaged the mages and Templars. The problem was that she would not be able to do that forever. During this conflict it was inevitable that Lilian would have to take a human, elven or dwarven life and when she did, Cassandra wasn’t sure what to expect.  

It was difficult to tell how a new recruit would handle that kind of situation. Thus far Lilian had done well against demons the best, firing at them with a single-minded ferocity. Bears had been more difficult but as they had been the aggressor, Lilian seemed to have handled herself well enough. She had detected a reservation on the Herald’s part to actually take the killing blow in those situations.  

When it came to the mages and Templars though…Cassandra had seen the warning signs, seen how tense the Herald was without realising it, the reluctance on her face as they all realised that their opponents could not be reasoned with.   

Sighing, Cassandra strode towards the fire where Solas, Varric and the Herald were gathered in camp. They had found the campsite about an hour before they normally packed up for the night so Cassandra had made the executive decision that they would find the scouts in the morning.   

Solas was studying the Herald who seemed absorbed in watching the flames and tapping out a rhythm on her knee. She didn’t seem to be able to keep still when sitting. This, she thought, was a mark against her being raised in a noble house. These sorts of behaviours, no matter where you were from, would have been stamped out at an early age. There was also the fact that, while her posture was not altogether terrible, it was nowhere near what would be considered appropriate for a young noblewoman.  

It was always possible that, because she was surrounded by those who did not aspire to such standards, she wasn’t doing it herself but Cassandra doubted it. Everything here was unfamiliar to her and Cassandra knew that when in unfamiliar or alien surroundings, old habits reasserted themselves. If Lilian wasn’t holding herself like a noble, she wasn't a noble. No tutor would allow a pupil to sit with a back not perfectly ramrod straight and the way she’d crossed her legs…Cassandra remembered a few key individuals who would have had a heart attack at the very thought, let alone sight, of a young woman sitting in such a way even if she wasn't wearing a skirt.  

Just remembering some of the lessons from her childhood made Cassandra want to hit something. Although she deliberately distanced herself from such things, there were many things such as her bearing or inability to fidget in such a way which marked her as being from nobility. Lilian Muir shared none of these traits.  

Leliana had requested that Cassandra sent an occasional report on the Herald’s progress and add in any observations she thought were relevant. After travelling with the other woman for a period of time, Cassandra had come to a few conclusions.  

Firstly, Lilian was not a noble. Second, she was used to a certain level of comfort but not the trappings associated with that comfort. Thirdly, before coming to Haven, she must have been very sheltered if the sight of the Hinterlands had her so enamoured. Did this possibly count towards her being raised in a city? It seemed possible but this was not Cassandra’s area of expertise so she had, reluctantly, written a report to Leliana which would be sent when they reached the scouts via raven. 

Tomorrow the real test would begin. 

They needed Mother Giselle and Cassandra was determined to deliver the Herald to her in one piece and then, Maker willing, get everyone back to Haven.  

"Silver for your thoughts, Seeker?" The dwarf asked, settling down with a bowl of stew after handing one to the Herald.  

She felt an irrational reflexive flair of annoyance in his general direction before deliberately pushing said emotion down. The dwarf had been well behaved, surprisingly, and she would not repay his good behaviour with unwarranted animosity.  

“Just thinking about what we will be facing tomorrow, Dwarf,” she said finally, lifting the spoon in her own bowl to her lips. Perhaps he would leave her alone if she appeared distracted by food.  

“Feel like sharing any of those thoughts with the rest of us?” He questioned. Cassandra grimaced.  

“Not particularly,” was her immediate response but, upon further reflection, amended her statement. “We are going to enter the heart of the Templar-Mage conflict in Ferelden. There are many variables to consider.”  

“Indeed,” murmured Solas. “This mission will, I think, be more difficult than you had originally intended.”  

“We’ll be fine,” Varric replied, his voice oozing deliberate confidence. His eyes flicked towards the Herald and Cassandra immediately understood. He was trying to downplay the danger to put her at ease. A noble sentiment but, ultimately, a foolish one.  

“You travelled with the Champion of Kirkwall for years, I don’t think we should count on your definition of “fine” Varric,” commented the Herald and Cassandra couldn’t help the little quirk of her lips at the expression on the dwarf’s face. It seemed he did not need to put her at ease, after all. Cassandra was quite sure she was still nervous but she was handling herself better than expected.  

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, Rookie,” Varric's voice was deliberately casual and Cassandra narrowed her eyes at him in warning. He just winked at her before returning his attention to Lilian.  

“So you didn’t write, and I quote “facing off against the High Dragon turned out to be the easiest thing we did all day" in your book?”  

“I did no such thing,” Varric protested.  

“Close enough,” the Herald rebutted. “You were the one reading it to me, remember?”  

Cassandra blinked, startled. She had known that the two were spending time together but to hear that Varric had been reading excerpts of his book to her…It made sense. Unless a large print copy could be sourced for her, Lilian would have had to have books read to her if she wanted to experience the contents be it fiction or education. Her estimation of the dwarf rose a few notches at that…but only a few. Despite her issues with him, Varric truly did appear to be a good person…who had better hurry up and write the next instalment of that blasted “Swords and Shields” series. How long could it take him really? What else did he have to do when not spending time with the Herald? 

"What is life without a few exaggerations?" Varric quipped. "It's good for my readership."  

"Like you ever had to exaggerate with the shit that happened in Kirkwall," the Herald snarked.  

"Now, now, it wasn't all that bad." The face the Herald made clearly stated what they were all thinking of that remark and Varric, clearly seeing he was outnumbered, just sighed, donning a put-upon air. "I can see the mood is against me so I'll just finish my stew and turn in, shall I?"  

"Probably wise," agreed Solas, done mild. "I would advise getting sleep while you can. I shall take the first watch if the Seeker is agreeable."  

"I would advise we all take Solas's advice," she said, gaining the attention of the other three. "Tomorrow will be difficult and we had best be at our best. I shall take the final watch of the night."  

Nods were exchanged and, after finishing their meal, three of the four companions slipped into their tents. Over the last few days, Cassandra had observed the Herald becoming more comfortable removing and putting on her armour, fingers finding their way to straps and buckles with more ease as time passed. Tonight, she was able to do so in half the time it had taken that first night they'd set out from Haven and it was to the point that Cassandra did not feel she always needed to check over the other woman's work in the morning after dressing. She still would, of course, until she was absolutely certain but the younger woman was progressing well.  

Once in only a pair of trousers and an undertunic, the Herald climbed into her bedroll, squirming about for a rather long period of time before deciding that, finally, she'd found the most comfortable position which did not involve rocks poking her in the back or thigh. For the most part, she had been able to fall asleep relatively quickly during the journey with only a couple nights requiring more time, time spent tossing and turning. Cassandra was glad those nights had been her turn for the first watch. The Herald had, thankfully, always been asleep when she entered the tent.  

Tonight seemed to be one of those nights as the Herald did not immediately relax upon closing her eyes. She held herself stiffly, mind clearly somewhere else as her body tried to make itself comfortable. Cassandra continued her own preparations before lying down herself, her bedroll slightly nearer the tent entrance to act as a last shield for the Herald in case there was an attack during the night.  

"Cassandra...?" The Herald's voice was hesitant and quiet. Cassandra turned her head so she could get a better view of the other woman's face. The Herald wasn't looking at her, instead staring up at the tent canopy with a pensive expression on her face.  

"Yes, Herald?" She replied, keeping her tone equally soft. No need to disturb Varric or Solas.  

"I just..." She trailed off again, seeming to consider her words before continuing. "How should I approach Mother Giselle tomorrow?"  

An interesting question. Cassandra wasn't sure how to answer it though. She needed more information. "What do you mean?"  

"I mean, how do I approach a figure of a religion I'm not a part of." Ah, that would explain the restlessness, she supposed. This, of course, made Cassandra wonder which religion the Herald subscribed to. Tonight, however, was not the night for such a discussion however so Cassandra refocused on the matter at hand as the Herald continued speaking, her words coming a little quicker now that she'd started. "I'm not Andrastian. I don't know what to say to convince her that we're trying to help. What if I say the wrong thing and fuck things up?"  

Cassandra grimaced at the crass wording but nevertheless considered the question seriously. This was probably what had been disturbing her sleep, Cassandra decided. It was only when she was happy with her response that she continued the conversation. "I believe," she began. "That the best course of action would be to be honest with her like you have been with us." Was that a wince? It was difficult to tell in the dim light. Nevertheless, she continued. "Although I have not met her, I have heard that she is a woman who admires truth and those who have the conviction to speak it. Do not try and calculate your responses; I doubt it would help matters."  

There was silence then as the Herald seemed to contemplate her words. Finally, she turned her head and Cassandra noted the thoughtful but still thankful expression on her face.  

"Thanks," she mumbled. "I... thanks."  

"You are welcome," Cassandra replied. "Now, try and sleep. There is no sense worrying about what has yet to happen." The Herald gave a small nod, turning away and curling in on herself slightly, conserving body heat. The Seeker thought of the reaction she'd witnessed, that little wince. It could be nothing but...her instincts were telling her that it was not, in fact, nothing. Those instincts were honed over many years of battle and service to the Chantry and so, Cassandra listened when they flared.  

There was something the Herald had not been honest with them about. From the things Leliana had found, that was obvious. The question was, when would she feel comfortable (if ever) discussing those things with them? 

How long would it be before she trusted them? 

Cassandra watched her for a while after that, noting the slow rise and fall of deep breathing until sleep finally pulled her under.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Hand yer wheesht” can roughly be translated to hold your tongue. It basically means shut up. 
> 
> All comments/questions/criticisms welcome! Let me know what you thought of this chapter!
> 
> Also! I have a Tumblr if anyone is interested in asking me questions there.   
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mgmirani


	7. unfortunate encounters lead to unfriendly arguments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Sorry that this took so long. This chapter was surprisingly difficult to write. Quite frankly I'm glad it's over. 
> 
> This chapter went through a couple revisions so if there are things that don't quite make sense, I might've missed something so please point it out if you spot it. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, bookmarked and left kudos on this story. Each one is very much appreciated!
> 
> As always, this chapter is un-betaed so any mistakes are entirely my own.

We rose early the following morning. My talk with Cassandra, while brief, had helped. I still had no clue how I was meant to convince Mother Gisele of our intentions but I was feeling a little bit better about the situation. Cassandra was right: just saying what I thought she’d want to hear wouldn’t get me anywhere and would, in all likelihood, backfire spectacularly. No. I’d just have to be honest and hope that that was good enough to get her on our side so we could work on undermining the old crows in Val Royeaux.

The camp was packed up relatively quickly and, before I knew it, we were once again on the move. The Hinterlands, while still absolutely gorgeous, had lost some of their appeal for me after the fighting we’d had to do over the last few days. I couldn’t trust my surroundings anymore. The tall tree was a potential hiding spot, the large rock to the side of the path now provided cover to a potential threat and whenever I saw a hill sloping upwards I pictured archers firing down on us. If I had been alone I would have been nothing but a bundle of nerves but, because of Varric and Solas, I was a bundle of nerves being held together by friendly banter and curious questions respectively.

Not long into the day, perhaps an hour or two after we set out, Cassandra made us halt. Curious, I stepped closer to her, squinting in a futile bid to figure out what she’d spotted. She hadn’t sounded worried so I hadn’t ducked and ran for cover just yet.

“I see the Inquisition’s banner,” she explained, turning to face me, Varric and Solas. “We have reached the camp.”

“About damn time,” Varric said, grinning. “I was starting to think we were just going around in circles. I swear we’ve passed that tree three times already.”

“Clearly not,” put in Solas, sounding like he was close to rolling his eyes. “Otherwise the Seeker would have noticed the banner earlier.”

“If you say so Chuckles,” Varric replied. “But I’m sure I’ve seen that tree before.”

Rolling my eyes, I followed Cassandra as the warrior started forward. I moved to walk level with her, not so worried about keeping to our typical party formation now that we were in friendly territory. As it turned out, we were spotted soon enough because a figure came sprinting towards us from the camp. It was only when they got close that I realised they were a dwarf. She, I realised once she introduced herself, identified herself as Lace Harding. Varric attempted to make a rather crappy joke and, when it fell flat, I gave him the most deadpan look I was capable of. He didn’t give any indication he saw it.

“What is the situation?” Cassandra asked, getting the conversation back on track. Harding, who had previously sounded rather bemused, immediately got back to business, her tone becoming sharp and no-nonsense.

“We’ve got a band of Templars and Mages fighting at the Crossroads,” she explained. “Mother Giselle’s there, tending to the wounded. They’ve been going at each other nonstop and don’t seem inclined to be careful just because people might get caught in the middle. It’s a mess.“

My stomach dropped at that. We’d come across mages and templars separately but, thankfully, never encountered them together. This would make things far more difficult. Then again, if they were focused on each other, perhaps they wouldn’t notice our little band until we’d managed to even the odds a bit.

I hadn’t really said much during the conversation, too caught up in thinking about the upcoming battle I knew we’d be facing, and it was only when Cassandra told us to form up that I realised I hadn’t actually introduced myself to Harding. Feeling guilty I gave a little wave in her direction as we moved forward, hoping that I hadn’t come across as rude.

The sounds of battle reached us far before we saw it. The sound of clashing steel and fireballs impacting the ground were, unfortunately, becoming all too familiar. Cassandra seemed all for charging into the fray but I reached out and tugged at her arm, getting her attention before she could. She turned and gave me what I thought was a quizzical look.

“I don’t think we should just charge in,” I said, keeping my voice low in hopes of not attracting any unfriendly attention.

“Do you have a better suggestion, Herald?” Cassandra asked, sounding like she doubted it but was, at least, willing to listen. Good; that was good. It meant I had a chance to explain myself.

“I don’t know much about fighting,” I admitted. “But wouldn’t throwing ourselves into the middle of that-“ I gestured in the vague direction of the battle “-only make things worse? We’d more than likely end up being attacked by both groups at once and, if we're in the middle, we have nowhere to go. Wouldn’t it be better if we tried to avoid that?”

“And how would you suggest we do that?” Cassandra demanded. “We cannot allow more innocents to be caught in the crossfire. Would you have us wait until they are sufficiently weekend before attacking?”

“I didn’t say that,” I said quickly, almost tripping over my words as I rushed to explain. “Couldn’t we pick off people while they’re focusing on each other? Maybe take out some from the back and make their numbers more manageable?” It wasn’t exactly a master strategy but I was pretty sure it was better than running in full pelt without a plan and hoping for the best.

“You know, she might have a point Seeker,” Varric said, his voice thoughtful as he turned his head, looking from us to the surrounding area and back again. “There’s plenty of cover. No offence but we’re not all built for wrestling dragons. You might be able to take on an army by yourself but the rest of us? Not so much I’m afraid.”

“It is not an unsound strategy,” put in Solas. “Unfortunately, you are our only close combat specialist at the moment so a full frontal assault may not be in our best interests.”

I mentally pumped my fist in the air. Varric and Solas agreed with me. I’d actually managed to make a meaningful contribution to our little group that didn’t involve just twiddling my fingers and closing giant green holes in reality. Baby steps. For now, I’d offer strategies. Later, maybe I’d get up the courage to charge into battle beside Cassandra.

...when nuggs flew.

Cassandra let out a breath which I couldn't identify. It sounded a bit exasperated with a touch of impatience but it might have been just me. I could totally be reading too much into it but, whatever the cause, she released the grip she had on her sword and crossed her arms over her armoured chest.

"You do raise a good point," she admitted. "In the field, I am used to working with those who have similar training to myself. Obviously, such tactics will not work here. Your suggestion is sound...if lacking in refinement. We will do as you suggest. I will draw the attention of the templars while you target the mages."

"Take out the ones that can shoot at us from a distance so you can go in and knock everyone else on their ass? Sounds good to me," Varric agreed. I could hear the grin in his voice. "Let's get to it."

It turned out that circling around wasn't as easy as we'd first hoped it would be. There were various mages and templars scattered throughout the whole area so there wasn't really any one place where we could get behind a group. In the end, we split into two teams; Varric and Cassandra going to the left and circling that way while I stayed with Solas. I might've felt a bit better with Varric but it didn't make sense to put the archers together. Cassandra would be able to protect Varric well enough if he was spotted and Solas could always throw up a barrier around me so I could run if the situation looked like it was about to go south.

I unslung my bow, prepared an arrow and crouched behind a large rock outcropping, not daring to peak around the side yet for fear of catching someone's attention. Solas had no such qualms and had started tossing out spells at the nearest mages. At first, I was worried he'd draw too much attention to our position but, as I listened to the sounds, I realised that that wasn't exactly what was happening. Not wholly anyway. Solas, in distracting the mages, made it easier for the templars to get the drop on them. I thought they'd start focusing on Solas then but, thankfully, Varric and Cassandra were able to handle them. Those massive shields the templars carried didn't extend to their backs so Varric was able to shoot Bianca without worrying about them and Cassandra was a monster in battle so there was no question she'd be able to take them down, shield or no shield.

Some might argue that this was a cowardly way of fighting but I'd argue that those same people were idiots. In battle, there was no such things as rules of engagement or playing fair. I risked looking around the side of my rock and, seeing that there were fewer fireballs flying across the battlefield, I determined that our plan was working.

"Move!" Solas's voice cut through my thoughts and, despite myself, I found my body already obeying. I was next to a slight slope and, upon diving towards it, I found myself almost rolling down the small incline. The added distance provided by my tumble was definitely a boon despite the aches and bruises I'd doubtlessly be feeling later when the adrenaline wore off, as the area I'd been crouching moments before was suddenly covered in a thick layer of ice.

Damn that was close.

Solas was suddenly beside me, hands outstretched and casting a barrier which encircled the two of us. It glowed and crackled with energy and a distant part of me wanted to reach out, to know what it would feel like to touch it but I stopped myself. Now was definitely not the time.

"Are you well" he questioned, head tilted down towards me.

"I'll live," I managed, grimacing as I pulled myself into an upright position. Somehow I'd managed to keep hold of my bow though I'd managed to snap the arrow in half. Damn. It wasn't as if I had an endless supply of the things.

"Good," he replied. "Stay close to me. The battle is nearly over."

What else did he expect me to do? I certainly wasn't going to step outside the shield now that it was up. That would just be stupid. Distantly I could hear Cassandra letting out a battle cry followed by the sounds of clanging metal and Varric's voice shouting encouragements from somewhere to my right.

Solas, seeming satisfied with my compliance, stepped outside the barrier and began once again casting spells. He kept up the shield around me, clearly not trusting me not to get myself into trouble again, but I couldn't tell if doing so impacted his spells negatively or not. Something like keeping up a constant barrier had to be draining right? Yet, from what I could tell, he didn't seem to be having much trouble with it. Then again, he was an Elven God so maybe he was just stronger than the average mage or better at hiding the signs? It could also be that I just wasn't noticing or not familiar enough with Thedasian magic to be able to identify things like that. Every possibility seemed equally plausible so I turned my attention away from thinking about it and back to where it should be: the battle.

There were a few figures in armour, perhaps five, which seemed to be all that remained of the opposing forces. There were no more blasts or random icy patches appearing so I was pretty sure all the mages were down and it was just the Templars left to deal with. Cassandra's voice rose above the chaos, trying to reach out to people who weren't going to listen to her. They, predictably, ignored her and continued to attack. With Solas and Varric providing long-distance support, the remaining templars didn't last five minutes.

The last opponent fell and the barrier around me dissipated. I gingerly replaced my bow on my back, frowning as I realised that I might as well have not even drawn it at all. I'd been doing better, hadn't I? Apparently not.

I followed Solas as he made his way towards Cassandra and Varric. The dwarf greeted us with a wave from where he was crouched over a fallen enemy's body, probably searching for valuables. He stood not long after, hefting a small pouch which I guessed held some coins judging by the small clinking sounds coming from it alongside a blue vial which was probably a lyrium potion. My theory was supported by the fact that Varric held it out towards Solas with an overly dramatic "for you" tossed the elf's way. Solas took the vial without comment, slipping it into wherever it was he kept his own potions stash. I felt at my belt and, thankfully, couldn't feel any irregular shapes or dampness in any of the pouches my own potions were stored in. Thankfully the vials seemed to be less breakable than they looked at first glance.

"Are there any injuries?" Cassandra asked, coming up behind us. I jumped, turning to face her in time to watch her rubbing her blade against a nearby patch of grass, probably trying to clean some of the blood off before she put it back in its' scabbard. I thought I remembered reading somewhere that it wasn't good to put blades back in their sheaths still covered in blood. Once again refocusing on the present, I shook my head in the negative. I probably had a few bruises and/or scrapes but, as far as I could tell, nothing was seriously injured besides the confidence I'd managed to build up over the last few days.

Now wasn't the time to bring that up though. Now we needed to finish regrouping and find Mother Giselle, talk to her and, hopefully, return to Haven as soon as possible. I'd had just about enough of the Hinterlands for the time being.

Varric had apparently been grazed by a fireball cast at him by an overly ambitious mage. A gulp of healing potion had him right as rain again and so, satisfied that we were in as good of a condition as we were going to get post-battle, Cassandra had us form up again and began searching for Mother Giselle amongst the people of the Crossroads.

Thankfully, it didn't take her too long to find who we were looking for. Mother Giselle was helping tend to the wounded. Her conversation was interesting. She was a Mother of the Chantry but she didn't seem as prejudiced towards mages as I was expecting. At best I was expecting some neutral, pacifying rhetoric like the Grand Cleric from Kirkwall had been fond of spewing but, much to my surprise, Giselle actively seemed to be advocating for the mages to aid the people, encouraging the injured person under her care to let a mage tend to their injuries.

"You seem surprised," Giselle's voice startled me and when I refocused on her rather than the mage helping to heal the injured man, I was startled to see that she was looking towards us. Considering I was probably the only one gawking like a moron, I assumed her words were directed at me. Feeling Varric nudge me forward, I took a deep breath and stepped towards her.

Now or never.

"What you just said...it's not exactly a commonly held belief amongst the Chantry as far as I'm aware." There. That should be diplomatic enough right? No need to tell her I thought her religion was full of biased, fear-mongering idiots.

"Not as common as it should be, no," Giselle agreed, standing from her crouched position and meeting me half way between the two groups. With her stupid hat thing, she towered over me and I felt even shorter than before. Damn all these tall people. "We counsel against the folly of pride. Mages may be prideful at times but it is not a trait they alone possess. They, like us, are children of the maker and care capable of aiding their fellow men. This is, however, not why you are here I believe. That mark on your hand marks you as the one they are calling the Herald of Andraste. Come, walk with me while we talk. I have questions for you and, if I am not mistaken, so do you."

I nodded mutely, letting her lead the way as we wandered away from my companions. I couldn't help throwing a glance over my shoulder, silently begging for some kind of support. I couldn't see their expressions but, since none of them chased after us, I got the hint. I was on my own.

Great.

My conversation with Cassandra the previous night flashed through my mind and I tried to make myself relax. Right now I was tense as a bowstring and that wouldn't do me any good. She'd said be honest. I could do that. I just had to omit a few details but I could do that. There was no reason to be so nervous. Giselle seemed nice enough. I could do this. I had to do this.

I took my cane from my back and began running it absently across the ground in front of us. This area was more or less flat so it wasn't strictly necessary but it gave me something to do with my hands that wasn't fidgeting so I deemed it necessary. Plus it was always better to be careful in a wooded area. Tree roots could be a bitch if you weren't expecting them.

"So it is true then?" Giselle questioned, her head tilted down enough that I was pretty sure she was looking at my cane. "You are blind?"

"Partially," I replied automatically. "I can see a little bit."

"That explains the bow."

I refrained from pointing out that I hadn't actually been able to do anything with said bow today. Now was not the time to get snippy.

"It occurs to me that I do not know your name," Giselle said and I wanted to smack myself. Where were the manners Mam had drummed into me?

"Sorry," I apologised, hoping my cheeks weren't as red as they felt. "It's Lily...I mean Lilian. My name is Lilian Muir. It's nice to meet you, Mother Giselle."

"The feeling, is, I believe, mutual."

We continued walking for a while, Giselle seemingly content in her silence. I wasn't.

"So, what can you tell me about the Chantry?" I asked.

"The Chantry is divided although they seem almost entirely set against you," Giselle admitted. "I will not lie to you. Some of them are just grandstanding, hoping to draw attention to themselves in hopes of becoming the new Divine. Others...they are terrified. So many good people died at the Conclave and no one knows what caused it. So many different stories, so many things that have gone wrong so quickly...fear makes people desperate. You alone survived and no one knows how. I might not agree, but I can understand their position."

"You don't blame me for what happened?" I couldn't help it. Besides Solas (for obvious reasons) and Varric, no one seemed to have taken my word that I had nothing to do with the damn explosion. Giselle was a stranger, someone I had no previous knowledge of and yet she seemed to think I was innocent?

"I believe that the Maker has a plan," Giselle replied. "I do not know what role you may play in it but I know that there is one. Whatever happened at the Conclave...I do not think you were wholly responsible. You may be touched by fate or merely someone who was in the right place at the right time. You may be the key to saving us all. You may, on the other hand, merely be a small part of a larger plan. I do not know which, if any, of these possibilities are true but I hope. Hope, in these troubled times, is all we have."

How did one argue with that?

"So, what do you suggest I do?" I had a feeling I already knew.

"You must go to them, convince them that you are no demon to be feared," Giselle replied, her voice sure as she turned to face me. I stopped, my cane coming to rest alongside my right leg as I did the same. I'd known this was coming but I was still surprised at the suggestion.

"Haven't they ordered my execution?" I couldn't keep the incredulity from my voice. I distinctly remembered Leliana mentioning that particular piece of information the day before we left. A raven from Val Royeaux had come in early that morning and she hadn't been pleased.

"They are scared," Giselle insisted. "Their power comes from the unity they portray to the people. As long as they can gather behind their convictions, you will be unable to gather the support you need to move forward. The people will look to them for guidance and, if they denounce you, insist that you are exacerbating the situation, the people will follow no matter how much you say or do otherwise." She paused then, seemingly thinking over her words carefully. "You need not convince all or even most of them. You simply need them to doubt. Break their façade of unity. They cannot harm you. You will be surrounded by allies, valiant ones from what I have seen here today, and I have no doubt they will protect you. You have nothing to fear."

"Nothing to fear but fear itself," I couldn't help but mutter.

"An interesting thought," Giselle mused. "Also, I think, an accurate one. Where did you hear such a thing?"

I was not about to mention anything remotely related to Harry Potter or dementors so I just shrugged, trying for a casually dismissive attitude. "I think I remember it being read to me once. Can't remember the book though."

"A shame," Giselle replied. "It is, nevertheless, true. Your fear is not groundless but you must face it if you hope to proceed."

"You make it sound so easy," I muttered, looking down. Talking sounded well and good but there was no way things were going to be that simple. This was Thedas. Even if things weren't quite as predictable as in the games, there was bound to be obstacles and stupid confrontations and all manner of things barring the way to what Giselle was proposing we do.

"I am not naïve," Giselle replied, her voice slightly sharper, tone reprimanding. "Things are never as easy as they first appear but, in life, nothing worthwhile is ever easy. You have the ability to rally people behind you. They have seen you closing rifts, fighting to defend them here in the Hinterlands despite your difficulties. You have the ability to build the Inquisition into something great and the people see it, they _feel_ it. The Grand Clerics also realise this. That is why they are so frightened. They see what you could do and it terrifies them."

"So, does this mean you'll help us?" The time seemed right to ask. Even if she seemed bent on sending me to my death, she also seemed to see what we were trying to do.

Giselle turned away then, looking towards another group of refugees further away. "I have decided to aid you," she said, her voice soft as she observed her surroundings. "I will provide Sister Leliana with the names of those Clerics who I believe may be swayed to your cause or who may, at least, doubt the conclusions come to by the general assembly. They will be amenable to a gathering, I hope. It is the least I can do."

"Thank you," I said, not really knowing what else to say. Giselle had been far easier to convince than I had expected. She seemed genuinely nice but I wasn't quite willing to trust that just yet. Things couldn't be that easy. They never were.

"Do not thank me yet, Herald," Giselle admonished. "In any case, it is I who should be thanking you for dealing with the problems being faced by the people here. There is still much to do and not much time to do it in. I will travel to Haven once I am satisfied with the state of the refugees here."

Inclining her head, Mother Giselle wondered away towards the group she'd spotted earlier. I stared after her for a while, not entirely sure that I should be doing next. I'd completed the quest. I'd managed to recruit Mother Giselle. That meant we could go back to Haven now, right?

-o0o-

How wrong I was.

I fired another arrow at the frozen ram and sighed in relief as, when the ice shattered, it collapsed. That was, hopefully, the final one.

It turned out that, like in the game, there were plenty of side quests to do before we could move on. Helping find food and supplies for the refugees were the two most important at the moment.

We'd been in the Hinterlands for about three weeks now and, in that time, things had fallen into a pattern of sorts. Every morning we'd wake up, prepare for the day, head out to carry out come task and then, near dusk when we were all exhausted (or maybe it was just me) and hungry, we'd return to the nearest established Inquisition camp and rest before doing the same thing the next day.

For the last few days we'd focused solely on providing food for the refugees. I'd lost count of how many rams we'd taken down. Thankfully, we didn't have to haul the carcases back on our own as the local hunter had provided a few men who went along behind us with a wagon. All we had to do was fill it up and then return to the Crossroads with the meat before going out again. It was, I thought, a very good thing I wasn't a vegetarian.

"Nice shot, Rookie!" Varric cheered, coming up behind me and slapping me on the shoulder. I grimaced but didn't retreat from the unexpected content, just giving the dwarf a slightly strained smile. A little warning would be nice next time. The guy might be a rogue but he was damned strong and my shoulder wasn't thank you very much.

I'd decided early on that I wasn't ever going to complain about games taking ages to do side quests ever again. Actually doing the quests as opposed to pointing and clicking on a computer took far longer and was far more tedious. Alongside the ram hunting, we'd also been looking for caches of supplies set up by the apostates we'd driven out of the area. This was far more time consuming than just hunting because we had to check everywhere there might be even the remote possibility items might be stored. I wasn't very helpful during that particular mission so spent most of my time joking with Varric and occasionally carrying interesting items we found.

We'd also been asked to help look for a random scout who'd been tracking a group of wayward mages. That quest wasn't too difficult and we ended up with a new Inquisition agent. Next came the search for the son of a woman who was sick and needed a potion only he could brew. He'd run off and joined a cult because that was _obviously_ going to solve all your problems.

If that wasn't enough, we were also looking for places to set up Inquisition camps to make the area more secure alongside Cullen's Watchtowers. I loved the colour green but, after the last few weeks, I was beginning definitely starting to tire of seeing it everywhere.

On top of all of _that_ , we were constantly being attacked by random groups of mages and templars. They just wouldn't get the hint to leave us the hell alone.

If one more mage or templar jumped out from behind a bush to attack us, I was going to request that we take them alive so I could start hitting them over the head with my cane. They were like ants or something. You think they're all gone but then you turn over a rock and, nope, there they were.

Thankfully, they hadn't attacked in groups of more than about four or five so far so Solas, Cassandra and Varric were able to handle it. I stuck to the back of the group, not really managing to do much other than occasionally shoot an arrow which hit an arm or a leg. The first time that had happened the person, a mage, had let out a cry of pain and I'd frozen before Varric pushed me down out of the way of a retaliatory fireball and Solas conjured a barrier. What was it with mages and trying to set me on fucking fire? Did they somehow know I had a fire phobia or were they just pyromaniacs?

We'd fallen into a pattern now. Even though I liked to stay close to Varric, I would be placed with Solas most of the time. His ability to conjure barriers to keep me safe was used frequently. He had a very good awareness of the battlefield and often put up barriers around me before I even knew I was in danger. Event hough I knew who he was, I trusted him to keep me safe in a fight. I wasn't sure of the particulars but I knew that the anchor was somehow connected to his orb thingy which contained his power or whatever so he needed me if he wanted it back...or that was what I'd managed to figure out from the half-remembered rants about him betraying my friends' character in the end. Damn. I really needed to write down what I remembered when I got back to Haven before I started forgetting things. Plus, Planning out a timeline would, I hoped, make it easier to start changing things before everything went to shit.

"Cheer up, Rookie," Varric said, grinning up at me as he nudged me towards the cart where the two men were loading the latest kill. "That's it for today. We'll get back to camp and take a break."

"Can't I just sit here for a bit?" I moaned, wishing I could rub my feet to alleviate the steady ache they'd developed.

"Not unless you plan on staying there for the night," Varric quipped back. "Trust me, Rookie. You'll want to get back to camp before you take a break. You'll thank me for this later."

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled, glaring at him even as we started the trek back. Today had been a particularly hilly journey and my body wasn't impressed. I couldn't wait to curl up in my bedroll.

"Look on the bright side, we'll be heading for the Horse Master tomorrow. No more travelling on foot for a while. After we got those horses we can get back to Haven."

"And from there to Val Royeaux where everyone wants to kill me and mount my head on a spike," I pointed out.

"Not everyone," Varric argued. "I'm sure the baker by the gate doesn't hate you enough for that."

"You're so good at cheering me up, Varric."

"That's what I'm here for."

"And here I thought it was just to stand around looking good."

"That too. One of us has to."

"If you're quite done," Cassandra's voice cut through the banter we had going and I sighed before turning to face her. We were just having a little fun. Nevertheless, I listened to her implied instructions and fell in behind the wagon.

Returning to the Crossroads with our kills was far quicker than the previous journey had been since we weren't constantly making detours or loading more meat and supplies into the wagon. There was a general air of excitement as we approached the refugees and, after the hunter and scout in charge of said supplies deemed them suitable, a cheer went up. I smiled despite my tiredness. Despite how much of a pain it had been, we'd done good and probably saved quite a few people from starving or freezing to death.

That night there was an air of celebration as people who had previously been down to the last scraps of their food were able to fill their bellies. Laughter, cheers and a general air of relaxation permeated the air as people surrounded the cooking fires, flames dancing in the night air. There was no need for anyone in our group to stand watch during the night because we were surrounded by Inquisition scouts. There were plenty of people stationed to keep an eye out for trouble. This, of course, resulted in us staying up later than would otherwise have been advisable.

Varric was in his element, telling stories and gesticulating wildly as he described a particular adventure he'd had with Hawke in Kirkwall.

"And then," he continued, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Rivaini finally had enough and told Donnic that, if he really wanted to know what was going on, she could draw him a few pictures."

By this point, I was bent double, clutching my stomach as I tried not to keel over I was laughing so hard. That particular quest in Dragon Age 2 had been rather entertaining but the real thing was so much better. If anything, Aveline's inability to talk to Donnic about her feelings had been played down in the game which was difficult to believe. Listening to Varric though, I completely bought it.

"Then, of course, Daisy asked if she could see them afterwards and Rivaini looked like a cutpurse caught with her hand in a nobleman's pocket and Hawke just stood there, smirking before asking if he could see them after Daisy. Aveline, of course, wasn't very happy and threatened to break Rivaini in half if she even thought about drawing her in 'that' way and Hawke, being the little shit that he was, asked if that meant she was going to do that now since Rivaini had already thought about it! It's a miracle Hawke didn't end up with a broken nose."

Eventually, I managed to get a hold of myself, occasionally lapsing back into fits of giggles even as I tried to keep a straight face. I just couldn't manage it though. My lips were constantly twitching back into a grin so I gave up and just let myself enjoy the story.

"Is there a chance she'll kill you for sharing that story?" I asked, finally managing to get myself under some semblance of control.

"Potentially," Varric admitted, waving his hand in a dismissive sort of way. "But she's still in Kirkwall and I'm here so she can't reach me, even if she wanted to. Besides, who's going to tell her?" He had a point.

"I suppose," I conceded, leaning back to rest my back against the rock behind me. Myself and Varric were sitting with our backs to said rock on one side of the fire while Solas and Cassandra sat across from us, doing their own thing. Cassandra had gotten out some paper earlier so I guessed she was probably sending a report or something back to the advisors. Definitely a good thing since they'd need to be kept up to date on what we'd managed to do in the Hinterlands. That should probably be my job but I still hadn't gotten enough practice at writing with a quill to make it worthwhile and writing in charcoal would likely result in so much smudging that it would be unreadable. No; better to let Cassandra handle that for now. Plus, it was unlikely I'd be able to read the hand-written replies so it made far more sense to just let Cassandra deal with that and pass on the information to the rest of us.

According to Leliana's last report, Mother Giselle had arrived in Haven about a week and a half ago and had given her what she'd promised. A meeting was being called in Val Royeaux but it wasn't scheduled to take place for another two months. This meant we had plenty of time to prepare and grow our forces. Hopefully, we'd be able to recruit a few more people for the main team before we had to walk into the proverbial lion's den.

Solas was doing...whatever Solas did when he wasn't on watch or in the fade when we weren't travelling.

Neither Cassandra or Solas were facing us, indicating they weren't paying attention to us...or pretending they weren't. Cassandra, being a secret super fan of Varric's works, I knew would probably be listening attentively even if she wasn't showing it. I had no clue whether Solas was doing the same but, so far, he hadn't told either of us to be quiet so I thought he might be enjoying the story...just a little bit. I liked to think he was enjoying it.

"So, Rookie," Varric began, voice oh-so-casual. I felt a shiver go down my spine. "Got any stories like that to share?"

"Not really," I replied, keeping my tone light as I turned my head so I was facing Varric instead of the fire.

"Come on, nothing?" Varric wheedled, his tone cajoling. "There's gotta be something."

I thought for a moment, trying to remember if there were any funny stories I could tell that wouldn't be too outlandish for Thedas....or any funny stories period. It was then that I remembered a particular event from just after I got my guide dog and I grinned. That would do.

"Okay," I began, shifting so my body was facing Varric fully instead of just my head. "It isn't as good as yours but it was very funny at the time."

"I'm all ears," Varric assured.

"So, I'd only had my guide dog for a few months," I began. "I got her when she was about a year and a half and, by that point, she was almost two but she acted more like she was six months most of the time...still does actually.

"So anyway, fully trained guide dog, just about two years old. I'd had her for a few months and, like I said, things were going good. We were having a lazy day. I didn't have anything I needed to do and she'd been for a good run the day before so I figured it'd be fine to not do anything with her that day.

"I take it this backfired on you?" Varric asked, tone amused.

"You could say that," I replied. "The morning went fine. She spent a lot of it sleeping but then in the afternoon she wanted to play. She sat on my feet and refused to move until I agreed to take her toy and play with her." I smiled at the memory. In reality she hadn't been quite that bad but a little exaggeration wouldn't go amiss. Besides, I was talking to Varric Tethras. If there wasn't some exaggeration in his books, I'd eat a raw nug.

"So what happened?" Varric prompted.

"I started throwing her toy for her," I replied, shrugging my shoulders. The room wasn't massive but it was big enough that she could get up a decent speed. Anyway, I wasn't paying attention to where I was throwing the toy and it ended up being thrown out of the open door. Now normally this would be fine but the wooden floor outside my room had only been washed a few minutes ago so when she ran full pelt into the corridor..." I trailed off, grinning at the memory. "She went flying down the hallway! She ended up running headfirst into the door at the opposite end of the hall. You could hear the "thump" everywhere in the house. She came back after that, slipping and sliding the whole way but she'd managed to get the damn toy and hadn't dropped it even after she'd ran nose first into the door! When she got back she gave it back just stared at me until I threw it again."

"And did you?"

"Of course!" I replied. "She wouldn't let me stop playing. She hit her nose three more times that day and didn't seem to regret it."

It hadn't been nearly as funny as Varric's story had been but I was still grinning almost as widely. It felt good to tell Varric something about me from before Thedas, even if it wasn't all that significant. Just a stupid little moment between me and Misty.

"I can't imagine your family were too happy about the wet pawprints," Varric commented.

"No," I replied, wincing slightly at the memory of the rollicking I'd gotten after that. "Mam was definitely not impressed...didn't stop her laughing at Misty though."

We lapsed into silence then. I stared at the flames, watching them rise and then disappear into the cold night air. I wished I had the paper and pencils I'd been promised with me now. I'd just have to remember this as best I could for when we were back in Haven. Maybe they wouldn't be too bulky and I could take them with me when we travelled. That would be nice...

-o0o-

After nearly falling asleep on Varric, I deemed it well past time that I went to bed. This was a sentiment shared by the group as a whole because, not long after I slid into my bedroll, Cassandra also entered the tent and I heard rustling to my right outside the tent near where I knew Varric and Solas's tent was.

We didn't speak as Cassandra went through her own night routine. We'd both become comfortable in the silence before bed, not feeling the need to fill it with words. I'd felt the need to do that the first few times we'd gone to bed at the same time after she stopped having to stand watch during the night. What could I say? When I was nervous or uncomfortable, I either clammed up and couldn't speak or I started babbling. Cassandra, thankfully, didn't seem bothered by it and, when I started to feel more relaxed about being alone with her without Varric to act as a buffer, the babbling trailed off into small conversations and, like now, silence. The conversation we'd had the night before clearing the Crossroads had been a great help. Cassandra had listened, given good advice and had been receptive to questions. It made me far more comfortable talking to her in general now. She seemed more...human for lack of a better word.

Not that she wasn't still scary. It only took one example of her literally cleaving a man in two with her sword for me to never be able to forget that fact. Now though...Yes, she was terrifying, but she was also on my side and had promised to help protect me as we travelled. Where before I stuck close to her because I wanted to stay alive, now I did it because I was genuinely beginning to like her and think of her as a friend.

Too soon for my liking, Cassandra was waking me up and we were once again heading out of camp. This time though, instead of meandering, hoping to find ram and caches of supplies, we had an actual goal in mind. Cassandra had deemed the area clear enough of mages and templars that she thought we'd stand a good chance of travelling to Redcliffe to see the Master of Horses there. On the one hand, horses would make travelling anywhere easier. On the other, the thought of going at anything more than a walking pace was far from pleasant. Trotting was a bitch for you and the horse if you couldn't do it right and I'd never once been on a galloping horse. The thought was more than mildly terrifying. Still, a bridge to cross when we got to it. We needed to reach the man and his farm first.

It was about mid-day and, so far, the journey to the farm was going smoothly. We'd made good progress and, judging by the progress Cassandra was marking on the map, we'd only need to walk for a few more hours before we reached our goal.

A growl was the only warning we got before a great black and grey shape launched itself at us from the undergrowth. Immediately I retreated, taking up my by now instinctual position at the rear of the group by Solas while Varric circled to flank our opponent and Cassandra drew her sword to engage.

For a while, I couldn't figure out what it was. The vicious snapping and snarling and quick movements kept me from getting a good look at whatever it was and prevented me from taking a shot since I didn't want to accidentally hit Cassandra. Solas had yet to freeze it in place and, when I turned to look at him, he was looking the other way, possibly looking to see if there were more around. When Varric got in a killing blow and the thing slumped to the ground, I understood why.

The dead body of a wolf lay at Cassandra's feet, it's coat stained red with the blood from its various injuries and a crossbow bolt sticking out of the back of its head.

I didn't have time to inspect it further as, behind us, a great howl went up and I whirled to see three more shapes charging at us from atop a hill. Solas, being closest to where they were coming from, acted quickly. He cast a wide area ice spell and froze the ground, making it slippery. The wolves ran across the ice and two out of the three went skidding, disorientated as they tried to get their feet under them again. The third had leapt out of the way entirely, circling the patch of ice and coming around towards us from the right. Solas, once again acted quickly, aiming another bright blue bolt of ice magic at our opponent. It must have hit the wolf square in the chest because a great snarl was released before it was frozen solid.

"Rookie, Duck!" Varric called. I crouched down letting a bolt from Bianca sail over my head. This was followed by many more as Varric targeted the two wolves still trying to get free of Solas's icy ground. The closest one went down with a heavy thump and growl so I guessed Varric's bolt had been effective. I still hadn't drawn my bow but it didn't appear to be necessary as, at that moment, Cassandra charged past me with a battle cry as she brought her sword down across the neck of the previously injured wolf. There was a sickening crunch as the head of the beast was removed from its body. The final wolf snarled but was unable to move quickly enough to dodge Solas's icy blast and Cassandras' blade piercing its' chest.

A low growl from behind me was my only warning. I turned, cane raised in front of me in a defensive position and found a fifth wolf. It stared at me, fangs bared. I heard a yell from Varric somewhere to my right and the sound of Bianca firing so I guessed that this wasn't the only latecomer. I hadn't had time to draw my bow, everything was moving too fast, so I'd just have to make do until someone could come help. T

he problem was that Solas hadn't put up a barrier yet.

Before I could call out to my teammates, the wolf clamped its jaws around the cane. It gave a great tug and the cane came free of my desperate grip. I hadn't managed to twist it while it was pulled so the blade inside was useless. The wolf tossed its head, my cane being tossed away in the process. I was now completely defenceless, staring down a wolf almost taller than me. It crouched low and I threw myself to the side milliseconds before it leapt, a terrified shriek the only sound I was capable of making.

It passed so close to me I swear I could feel the tips of its' fur brush my face. it snarled, turning and made to leap at me again. I was completely frozen. I'd managed to jump out of the way once but I could tell from the way it was moving that I wasn't going to get so lucky a second time. This had all happened in a few seconds but it felt like forever. Everything was moving too slowly and too fast all at the same time and yet I couldn't move at all.

The wolf seemed to almost be smiling at me. It was so close I could almost reach out and touch its snout. The eyes were what scared me the most. They were glowing. I'd never seen an animal with eyes like that before.

Why, of all things, did my brain decide to fixate on the wolf's damn eyes? Was that really what I wanted to be thinking about when I died?

There was a sudden riot of sound and the wolf came towards me. I shrieked again but the wolf wasn't attacking...it was falling. As it slumped to the ground, I saw the bolt sticking out of the back of its head. Dimly, I also registered the blade buried in its back and the smell of burnt meat.

"-erald, Herald, can you hear me?" I suddenly became aware that Solas was crouching over me, hands on my shoulders and looking at me with what I thought might be a concerned expression. I blinked, not saying anything as he continued to shake me.

"Rookie?" Varric's voice drifted to me as if from a great distance. I turned my head to see him also crouching beside me, this time to my right. His face looked similar to Solas, I thought, although he was easier to read.

"Varric? Solas?" My voice was hoarse but that didn't seem to matter as Solas and Varric immediately relaxed and leaned away from me slightly. Solas removed his hand from my shoulder and reached...somewhere in his robes because the next thing I knew he was holding a small glass vial to my mouth.

"Drink," he instructed. I moved on autopilot, opening my mouth and barely tasting the potion. I closed my eyes and tipped my head back, taking deep breaths and only now realising that my entire body was shaking.

"Take it easy there, Rookie," Varric's voice once again filtered through my mind and tilted my head towards him.

"Where's Cassandra?" I managed. Was she alright? Why wasn't she here too? Did one of the other wolves get her?

"She's fine," Varric reassured, understanding immediately. "She's just gone to make sure that we got them all."

I nodded my head in understanding and made myself slightly more comfortable. I'd been hunched over myself but, now that we were seemingly safe, I let myself uncurl and stretch out on the suddenly very comfortable ground. I ended up with my back to a small rock outcropping, keeping me up in a sitting position so I could observe Solas and Varric.

Thankfully, Cassandra wasn't gone too much longer. I listened with half an ear as she gave us an overview of what she'd seen. There were definitely tracks that pointed to more than the few wolves we'd fought but they didn't appear to be recent. Apparently after the fifth wolf attacked me, five more had gone for the others so they'd been too busy to keep an eye on me. That explained the lack of barrier from Solas. My shoulders slumped even more at the news that we were safe and I let out the breath I'd been unconsciously holding since she'd started her report.

"Those wolves were not natural," she concluded.

"Agreed," Solas chimed in immediately "Did you see their eyes?"

"I was a little preoccupied with their mouths and claws," Varric retorted.

"They were clouded, unnaturally so. They were also far more vicious than they should have been," Solas continued, ignoring Varric's comment. "Most wolves can be scared away quite easily. They have no business attacking humans but these...something is very wrong." #

"Its eyes were glowing," I said, looking to where the dead body of the wolf lay.

"This...is very troubling," Solas murmured. I nodded in agreement.

"Was it just me, or did that last one seem fixated on Rookie a little too much for comfort?"

"What do you mean?" Cassandra asked, her voice sharp as she whirled on the dwarf.

"I mean," he began, voice thoughtful. "From where I was, I noticed that Solas was closer and facing away from it. You'd think it would go for him but instead..."

"Instead it went for the Herald," Solas finished. "I too noticed that they seemed distracted while fighting me... sort of like their attention was on something else."

"Great," I managed, my voice less hoarse than before but still not back to normal. "Now I've got mad wolves after me? Is there anything in Thedas that _doesn't_ want to kill me?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure that nug I saw half an hour ago wasn't plotting your doom," Varric quipped. "If that makes you feel any better."

"Now is _not_ the time, Varric," Cassandra snapped.

"It's alright," I dared to speak up in his defence. His comment, while ridiculous, had definitely helped. "Thanks, Varric."

"Anytime, Rookie."

"So, what shall we do now?" Solas queried. "Do we investigate those wolves, or continue to the Horse Master?"

"Horse Master," I said immediately. There was no way in hell I was going anywhere near more of those things anytime soon. Varric squeezed my shoulder which I took to mean he agreed.

"We cannot do nothing about this situation," Solas insisted. "They were extremely dangerous and had no qualms about attacking us. Who is to say it won't happen again."

"You raise a good point," Cassandra conceded. "But now is not the time to deal with them." I couldn't see it but I was sure she was looking at me because Solas didn't reply. I was perfectly fine with that. "Perhaps, after visiting the Horsemaster, we can pick up their trail."

"You could always go without me," I suggested, my tone probably more hopeful than it really should be. Then again I'd almost been mauled by a giant, insane wolf so I thought I was allowed a little leeway.

"And if we come across any rifts while you are not with us?" Cassandra retorted.

"Clear the area and then come back for me?" I offered, mustering the energy to straighten and glare at her.

"That sounds overly dangerous. We cannot afford for you to be alone when not in Haven. You are a key part of this fight whether you like it or not and you cannot be left behind."

"And taking me into a situation I can't handle is any better?" I pushed myself to my feet. I was still miles shorter than Cassandra but right then that didn't matter. The shock was wearing off and in its place was the still very prevalent terror and, beneath that, a simmering anger.

"Herald-"

"No!" I growled, my hands bunched into fists. I began gesticulating, my movements jerky as faced her down. I wanted to pace but forced myself to stay still, my stance rooted and firm. "I warned you. I warned all of you that I couldn't handle it."

"Your training-"

"Was worth absolute _shit_ _e_ today!" I yelled back. I was breathing heavily. She didn't reply immediately so I continued on. "I _know_ I'm the only one that can close the fucking rifts. I _know_ that I can't just sit in Haven, twiddling my thumbs while everyone else goes around fighting. I _know_ that what we're doing is important, probably the most important thing I'll ever do in my entire life but that doesn't change the fact that _I. Cannot. Fight_." I punctuated the last three words with sharp jabs in Cassandra's direction. "I thought I could. I trained with Varric and I got better. You lot gave me the cane but how useful were either of those today?"

"We can protect you," Cassandra began. "We can-"

"And how well did that work today?" I was being needlessly cruel. They'd tried their best but, as was demonstrated to me today, sometimes your best just wasn't good enough. "The wolves distracted you so you were too busy to look out for me. We're just lucky no one's thought to do that before now. You need to watch your own backs in a fight without worrying about keeping an eye on me all the time," I shot back, not giving an inch. "How are you meant to fight at your best if you're always worried that I'm in trouble? I stayed back, I stayed close to Solas, I did everything I could and it wasn't enough!"

"Our safety is secondary to-"

 _"Bullshit!_ " I roared back.

"Excuse me?" Cassandra's voice was incredulous. I didn't care.

"I said," I replied, my voice dropping to a low growl. _"Bull. Shit_. If you go down in a fight, I'm dead. No ifs, ands or buts. You are not secondary in anything, _especially_ not in a fight."

I'm not sure how long we stood, glaring at each other. I wasn't going to back down though. A part of me had known that this was a bad idea but I'd pushed it down. I'd been doing so well in training. I could hit things from slightly further away, I was actually hitting things more frequently and, over the last few days, I'd actually managed to contribute something to the group during combat. This though...it had opened my eyes. Somehow that hadn't happened before but now...I knew with a visceral sense of certainty that, if I wasn't careful, there was every chance I'd die.

This wasn't like the game. I couldn't just load a previous save. I'd get to experience death first hand. I almost had. I wondered, morbidly, what it would feel like if a wolf managed to get its jaws around my neck and bite, what it would feel like if it raked its claws across my chest or crushed me under its bulk. Would it be over quick or would I be left bleeding?

"She has a point, Seeker." Solas's voice broke me out of my thoughts. I turned my head, not letting up on my glare at Cassandra but indicating that I was definitely listening to what Solas had to say.

"Explain." Cassandra's voice sounded like it was coming from between gritted teeth.

Good.

"I was unable to protect the Herald today." Was that regret I heard in his voice. "I could not put up a barrier in time to aid her because I was distracted."

"And if I'd been any slower..." Varric trailed off, clearly not wanting to finish the sentence.

"I'd be dead." I had no qualms about doing it for him.

"Face it, Seeker," Varric said, his voice soft. "This was never going to work the way you wanted it to. We gave it a try but...Lily's right." I blinked, started at the use of my actual name instead of the nickname he'd given me. "We can't keep this up. Remember what we said back in Haven? We'd use the Hinterlands as a trial run to see how things went? Well, we have. It worked for a while but we can't keep it up."

Cassandra said nothing for a good while. Her face had lost the angry edge that it had held and I stepped back, no longer feeling like I was ready to explode. It was only now that I realised what I'd done. I'd stood up to Cassandra Pentaghast. I'd not just stood up to her but actively cut across her in a conversation, yelled at her, and refused to back down.

"What do you suggest?" Her voice was sullen yet resigned when she finally spoke and I wanted to let out a sigh of relief but didn't dare show weakness in front of her just yet.

"We get the horses and go back to Haven," I said. She wanted me to be a leader? Fine. I'd step up and be a damn leader because there was no way I was letting her drag me into another situation like this. "Once we're back there, we see if we can get more people to travel with us. We can't do it all on our own. That's why you started the Inquisition, right?"

I was positive she was going to argue. I was, therefore, very surprised when she didn’t. "Your logic is sound," she admitted. "Very well. We shall retrieve horses and then return to Haven. Hopefully, enough time has passed that Mother Giselle has been able to contact the Grand Clerics."

"Good," I nodded. "Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone that's wondering. Yes. I'm making Cassandra perhaps a bit harsher than she is in game. This is a deliberate choice. She'll eventually mellow a bit but she's not handling the situation as well as she does in the original game. This will be explained later.


End file.
